


fallen fairy; iwaoi (iwaizumi x oikawa) (genderbend!)

by lesweeb



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anime, Bottom Oikawa Tooru, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, F/F, Genderbending, Haikyuu - Freeform, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Fluff, Top Iwaizumi Hajime, haikyuu genderbend, iwaizumioikawa, iwaoi - Freeform, weeb, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:08:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 62,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29582832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesweeb/pseuds/lesweeb
Summary: having feelings for your best friend was hard. iwaizumi would watch oikawa flirt among her crowd of fanboys with a beaming adoring smile, telling herself internally that no one that popular or pretty would ever feel the same way about her. oikawa would watch iwaizumi's disastrous dancing drunk at parties with a beaming adoring smile, telling herself internally that no one that beautiful or funny would ever feel the same way about her. the chance of ruining their ancient friendship worried them both, but their desire to pursue each other romantically burned brightly, without showing signs of dwindling.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 15





	1. trigger warnings

PLEASE READ BEFORE STARTING THIS STORY!!  
i would never ever want to trigger someone unexpectedly when reading this story, so i put this here as a warning in case any of these triggers apply to you and it would be too sensitive to read:  
TW/ depression  
TW/ drug use  
TW/ mentions of eating/body issues   
TW/ alcohol use  
TW/ sexual assault   
TW/ homophobia  
just be cautious :) thank you for reading


	2. chapter one

Iwaizumi groaned as she slowly opened her eyes, tiredly reaching around under her pillow for her phone to stop the blaring alarm that woke her up for school. She let out a sigh, seeing that she must have already stopped the first two alarms but was too tired to remember, rubbing a hand over her face and trying to wake herself up.

Scrolling through her Instagram feed even though she should have gotten up ten minutes ago, Iwaizumi snuggled into the warmth of her bed, the thought of not going to school crossing her mind as it did every morning. Iwaizumi heard her mother approaching from the other end of the hallway and scrambled off the bed, dropping her phone in the panic.

"Don't come in, I'm getting changed!" Iwaizumi yelled as she heard the door handle turn, hurriedly throwing her curtains open, hearing her mother's reply and the footsteps start to recede. Iwaizumi's mother was strict, but Iwaizumi respected and loved her a lot regardless. She had raised two children as a single parent and everything she did was to give them bright futures.

Iwaizumi let out a relieved breath, turning to look at her reflection in the body-length mirror plastered on her pale pink wall. Her black hair that fell down to her collarbones was ruffled from sleeping, strands of the spiked hair falling past her dark thick eyebrows. Her eyes were an olive green colour, framed with thick eyelashes, carved above her prominent cheekbones. Her sharp cheek hollows led to round red lips, usually pursed to add to her serious expressions.

She pulled her oversized black shirt over her head, discarding it and rummaging around in her wardrobe for something to wear that was comfortable and suitable for school. Iwaizumi had never been too bothered about what she wore to school, unlike Oikawa, who planned her outfits weeks in advance and often broke the dress code.

Deciding on a black flowy skirt that tickled the middle of her calves, tight around her hips and waist, the fabric stretching up to just above her bellybutton, Iwaizumi could hear her mother yelling about how she needed to leave soon and how she had to eat something. She pulled on a white ruffled crop top, with long sleeves that puffed up at the upper arms and had a square cut on her chest.

She quickly brushed her teeth and hair, filled in her brows, put in a pair of cross earrings and the matching dainty cross necklace, and hurried to put on her white trainers. "Hajime!" Her mother yelled, spooking Iwaizumi, who checked her phone for the time and saw that it was a minute past when she had to leave.

Grabbing her tote bag, which was yellow and had rabbits on it, Iwaizumi ran as fast as she could down the stairs, feeling her mother's glare. "I'll walk quickly," Iwaizumi said quietly, making sure to stroke her two grey cats before she approached the front door, which her mother was standing beside with a disapproved stance.

"Love you," Iwaizumi smiled after kissing her mother on the cheek, slipping past her and escaping out of the wooden door. She felt the morning chill on her exposed chest and ankles, the sound of birds chirping cheerfully to the world easing her anxiety about going to school. Iwaizumi put her headphones in as she started to walk quickly, starting to play FKA twigs.

Meanwhile, Oikawa had been awake for two hours. Every morning she woke up at six naturally, and would hear her dog scratching to get into her bedroom. She would stretch and yawn loudly, softly stepping over to the door and swinging it open, her small black dog happily strutting in. "Hi, baby," Oikawa cooed to Milk, who rubbed his face against her slim fingers lovingly after she knelt down to stroke him.

Oikawa lived with her wealthy parents, who usually weren't there, away on business a lot of the time. Milk was bought to keep Oikawa company as she was alone in the big house most days, and the black fluffy creature had become very dear to her. Her eyes flickering to her phone as it buzzed and pinged with numerous notifications, Oikawa let out another long yawn, whispering into Milk's fur about how she hoped one of the morning messages were from Iwaizumi.

She pushed herself up and walked down to the kitchen, flipping on the light and watching the familiar room flood into vision. Feeling her stomach ache, Oikawa prepared a bowl of chocolate cereal and settled down with Milk to go through her social media and reply to the many messages. She grinned at the flirtatious ones, trying to decide whether she was in the mood to hook up with anyone that day.

Oikawa enjoyed sex, a lot. She enjoyed the feeling of being adored, and it didn't matter to her what gender the other person was. She just wanted people to tell her she was pretty, and to her sex was something that made her feel pretty. They could be cold afterwards, but that temporary bliss when they treated her as if she were a goddess felt like a drug. Having guys surround her at school and flirt with nervous smiles made her feel powerful.

She got dressed and grinned at her reflection in the large mirror, turning and posing dramatically for Milk. She wore a pastel green dress that reached the middle of her thighs, with spaghetti straps, tight all over, with a small white undershirt visible underneath so that she wasn't showing too much cleavage. White thigh-high boots stretched up her slim legs, a small gap visible between the end of her dress and the top of the shoes. Her long brown hair fell down to the bottom of her back, naturally wavy and curled at the ends, the hair on her scalp teased up to give it more volume.

To match her dress, her ears were adorned with large circular pastel green earrings, protruding out of her dark hair. Oikawa always wore a full face of makeup to school, black eyeliner wings painted up her temples, accentuating her big brown eyes that matched her hair. She overlined her full lips with a natural colour, her eyebrows carved and arched perfectly, a bright highlight shimmering on the tip of her nose.

Her parents had bought Oikawa a car after she passed her test a couple of months back, even though it was illegal to drive in Japan before you turned eighteen; being rich meant the rules didn't always apply to you. Oikawa knew it was wrong, and felt privileged at her wealth but disturbed at the amount of power it held in society.

She made sure to feed Milk and tell him that she would be back soon, grabbing a bag that matched her outfit and stuffing her things inside of it that she needed for that school day. Locking the front door behind her, Oikawa gingerly walked down her driveway, a large smile already plastered on her face, feeling ready for the day.

The drive to school was uneventful, apart from Oikawa's road rage that burned through the traffic like hot lava. She slammed her silver car door shut and breathed in slowly, putting on her fake smile again, looking around at the busy school entrance, the sun illuminating down on them all in splashes of light.

"Hey," Oikawa turned her head as she heard someone call her, seeing a tall boy whose name she couldn't remember approach her, her hair falling over her shoulder as she did so. "Are you free after school?" He asked slyly, pulling his bottom lip through his teeth and letting his eyes rake over her body in an obviously lustful stare.

Oikawa grinned at the sexual attention, her mind racking for a name, knowing at least that she had slept with him before, but it must have been when they were at a party because she couldn't remember a thing about him. He put an arm out against her car beside her face, looking down at her patiently.

"I might be," Oikawa flirted in reply, a giggle bubbling through her throat past her wide grin, her full lips pulled up her soft cheeks. Her eyes flickering away from his for a second, Oikawa saw a familiar grumpy face, shouting out, "Iwa-chan!" She pushed the guy away as if he were trash, her eyes wide with excitement, as she rushed over to Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi whipped her head to the side as she heard the exclamation, feeling her heart race as Oikawa skipped towards her, the top of her brown hair shimmering under the sunlight. "You look good enough to eat," Oikawa smirked as she reached her, touching at the white fabric on Iwaizumi's top.

Shoving the touch off roughly, Iwaizumi replied, "Get off of me, you bitch." She couldn't stop the small smile that accompanied her insult, hating herself as Oikawa's flirting made her weak. Iwaizumi always rejected Oikawa's advances, as she knew that Oikawa was like that with everyone and there was no telling if she was being serious about finding Iwaizumi attractive in a romantic way.

"Ugh, Iwa. I love it when you're mean to me." Oikawa groaned happily, dramatically grabbing onto her and biting down on her lip. Iwaizumi swallowed nervously, pushing her away to avoid getting too flustered. Her heart hammering against her ribcage at the interaction, Iwaizumi let Oikawa lead her by the arm into the school gates.

The possibility of Oikawa not reciprocating her feelings was something that dawned down on Iwaizumi every time she saw her, and she had no idea how she could put into words her adoration for Oikawa. Iwaizumi would feel her heart flutter when she looked at Oikawa, and the way she laughed with those beautiful eyes, twirling her brown hair around her finger absentmindedly.

Oikawa was otherworldly gorgeous to Iwaizumi; she couldn't help it when jealousy ate away at her insides when Oikawa would talk about her numerous flings. Iwaizumi knew that it was her fault for being too cowardly to say anything, and so she just sat back and watched her heart get pummelled every time a guy would wink or smirk at Oikawa.

In recent months, her feelings had snowballed to the point where Iwaizumi couldn't go longer than an hour without thinking of those eyes and that smile. Oikawa thought that she had always made it obvious how much she liked Iwaizumi and wanted to be with her, but she didn't want to push her too far when Iwaizumi responded to her flirting negatively. She slept with lots of people and loved attention, but no one else really mattered to her like Iwaizumi. In a way, Oikawa knew she was being a coward too. She hated how much she liked Iwaizumi, and so slept around to try and avoid being vulnerable with her feelings.

Both of them had worries about what would happen to their friendship once they crossed that line, which they knew they couldn't go back on. Iwaizumi had never told Oikawa that she was gay, either, and every time Oikawa would bring it up she would say she wasn't sure about her sexuality. She knew that she was a lesbian, but she was worried that conversation would somehow lead Oikawa to knowing about her feelings and everything would be ruined.

Oikawa had met Iwaizumi when they were very young, and the first words that had tumbled out of her childish mouth when she saw her was that Iwaizumi looked like the pretty angel in the painting on her wall. Iwaizumi blushed every time it was brought up, and Oikawa would tease her about how it was still true and she did look like an angel.

"I'm going to skip last period, if you wanted to join me." Oikawa told Iwaizumi, their arms still linked, her eyes looking down at the silver necklace that bounced as Iwaizumi walked. Trying to ignore the hallway jabbering and the various stares on them, Iwaizumi clung onto Oikawa tightly and hummed in thought.

Iwaizumi replied, "My mum will kill me, and you're not worth that kind of scolding." Oikawa giggled with a wide genuine smile, her eyes flickering over Iwaizumi's features which she found so enchanting, Iwaizumi's green eyes sparkling from the bright reflection of the waxen school floor. "You're the only person who I would ever let talk to me like that, Iwa-chan. I live to make you annoyed in the hopes that one day you'll smack me across the face."

Furrowing her brows in disbelief and pouting her lips, Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa with an incredulous look. "I want to say you're a kinky freak but that'll make you even worse," She eventually said, her heart thumping in her ears as she watched Oikawa's eyes light up with joy and her white teeth shine with her cute laughter.

The school day loomed ahead of them, and as usual it went by painfully slowly, both of their minds occupied with other things. Oikawa excelled in every one of her subjects, but her passion was art, even though she was too embarrassed to tell anyone that. Her parents wanted her to follow their career paths, as it was good money, but all she wanted to do was paint. Iwaizumi had caught her drawing a few times, and Oikawa got flustered and hid them.

Oikawa ate lunch with Iwaizumi and flirted some more with the boys that followed her around, making plans with the guy whose name she couldn't remember to meet during last period, as she was skipping. Iwaizumi pretended not to hear, chewing her food slowly, looking down at the ground with a vacant glance.

Now remembering the name because his friend called to him, Oikawa batted her eyelashes and smiled innocently up at Michimiya, remembering him from the party on Friday night. "Do you have a boyfriend? I would actually find it hot if you did, so it's no problem if you do." Michimiya asked Oikawa with a short laugh, taking a piece of her hair and playing with it.

Oikawa pulled a face and asked, "What would give you the impression that I have a boyfriend?" She felt smug with his adoring eyes that looked down at her, his hand that was playing with her hair inching closer to her hips. "You kept saying someone's name while we were having sex. I told you my name again but you wouldn't stop with that other guy. I can't remember what the name was."

Scrunching her face up in confusion and making a cute ignorant sound, Oikawa said that she didn't remember doing that and she definitely wasn't seeing anyone. Michimiya drummed his waving fingers against his lips and looked deep in thought, continuing, "I think it was Inachin? Iwachin?" Oikawa's eyes widened and a dark crimson colour rose to her cheeks, flickering her glance over to Iwaizumi nervously, only the two of them being able to decipher the nickname.

Iwaizumi overheard and immediately felt her face burn scalding hot, covering her face with her hand casually and hearing her heart hammer against her ribcage, taking out her phone and pretending like she was immersed in the screen, not brave enough to look up. Her mind raced with a thousand thoughts a second, and for a moment she even doubted whether Oikawa was talking about her, even though 'Iwachin' was clearly 'Iwa-chan'. It was indisputable, and it made her stomach flutter with nerves.

Oikawa tried to cover up her embarrassment with a loud laugh, tearing her gaze away from Iwaizumi's flustered features and saying she didn't know who he was talking about. "Next time you'll just have to make me moan your name, then." Oikawa smirked, holding onto Michimiya by his shirt and pulling his face close, needing a distraction from the messy situation. The thought of Iwaizumi actually knowing about how much Oikawa liked her terrified Oikawa, and she had to project her feelings onto someone else fast.

Michimiya let out a surprised gasp and smirked back, his eyes raking down her body. Iwaizumi squeezed her fist by her side in jealousy, hearing Oikawa's flirtatious giggles as she described all of the things that they could do during the free period. Iwaizumi knew that all she had to do now was make a move with Oikawa, as it was clear that she had some sort of desire for her, even if it was only sexual.

Iwaizumi liked her so much that she would even be used sexually by Oikawa; she just needed a morsel of her essence before she died of thirst. The bell ringing made Iwaizumi jump, seeing the cafeteria quickly bustle as people left for last period. Oikawa turned her glance to Iwaizumi and her heart pulsed nervously, biting down on the inside of her cheek.

She was about to say goodbye to her when Iwaizumi rushed away, packing her bag as she quickly walked away from the table. It felt like a slap in the face to Oikawa, who swallowed the rejection and looked back at Michimiya, seeing his eager eyes. Oikawa didn't understand that Iwaizumi was just shy because of what she had heard, and misunderstood that Iwaizumi had rushed off without saying goodbye because she knew that Oikawa liked her but didn't feel the same way.

Oikawa's overthinking spiralled, and she tried not to show her internal discomfort as she imagined that Iwaizumi would never speak to her again out of disgust for what she had heard. Iwaizumi would never like her back. She was stupid to ever think that Iwaizumi would look at her like everyone else did, which was why she had never done anything.

Michimiya asked if she wanted to go somewhere more private, Oikawa blinking slowly, not hearing him at first, the intrusive thoughts in her mind screaming to be set free. She nodded and put on a fake smile, letting Michimiya guide her out of the now empty cafeteria. "Is it okay if we just sit for a while? I have a really bad headache." Oikawa let out a fake laugh as she rubbed at her head even though it didn't hurt, her throat feeling dry.

"That's cool," Michimiya smiled genuinely, the two of them walking over to sit on a patch of green grass. Oikawa didn't want to be mean to Michimiya, as he seemed nice, but the only thing that she could think about was a way to get rid of him and talk to Iwaizumi. She tried to scheme up excuses about why she would say Iwaizumi's name when getting screwed, but every explanation led back to her feelings and nothing else.

Iwaizumi sat in the corner of the classroom with her chin in her hands, her heart still pounding in her chest even though lunch break had ended half an hour ago. She replayed the conversation in her mind again, hiding her smile in her hands as she thought about Oikawa genuinely moaning her name during sex, thinking about Oikawa's blush in the cafeteria and the way she got flustered.

Knowing that all she had to do was speak to her about it, Iwaizumi swallowed nervously and looked out of the window at the sunny landscape. It was one thing to think about admitting that she liked Oikawa, but actually looking into those dark eyes and telling her was terrifying. Her heart raced with speed, and as she stared outside, Iwaizumi knew that today would have to be the day where she confessed.

The remaining minutes of the lesson sprinted past her, Iwaizumi looking at everyone in confusion when they started packing up to leave. She hurriedly pushed her stuff into her bag and moved her shaky legs towards the exit, her anxious nerves stabbing into every cell of her body.

Iwaizumi walked down the busy hallway and out of the school gates, figuring that because it was a hot day she would find Oikawa on the grass. She looked for less than a minute before her eyes landed on Oikawa, clenching her jaw in jealousy as she saw Oikawa underneath Michimiya, her hands in his hair as they made out.

Feeling her fists tighten at her sides and her eyes flash warm with tears, Iwaizumi stormed over to the grass, feeling her shyness crumble. She had experienced years of jealousy and desire, and she had psyched herself up for an hour to actually do something about her feelings that burst to be let free, the affection overflowing uncontrollably.

Iwaizumi reached forward and grabbed onto Michimiya by the back of his jacket, her fingers tightening around the fabric and yanking the tall boy off of Oikawa. Opening her eyes in surprise, Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi and her serious expression which she usually wore, although the lines in her face were intensified with emotion.

"What the hell are you doing?" Michimiya asked angrily, after pushing himself up, looking down at the grass stains from where Iwaizumi had thrown him. Iwaizumi didn't even look at him, sinking down so that she was at eye level with Oikawa and sitting on the grass beside her. She could feel her heartbeat get so intense it was painful, lifting both shaky hands up to hold Oikawa's hands.

Iwaizumi whispered, "I like you, so much." She was worried that if she spoke any louder she would start crying, her entire body trembling. Oikawa returned the nervous glance, her eyes wide with surprised joy. She had never felt so nervous in her life, and she vulnerably flickered her brown eyes all over Iwaizumi's features with search for answers to her confusion.

Their private moment was shattered by Michimiya, who chimed in angrily, "You have a dyke friend?" The slur cut through the air like a knife, Iwaizumi physically cringing as he said it, letting out a scared inhale. Oikawa squeezed Iwaizumi's hands tighter and slowly turned her head around to look at Michimiya with a venomous look.

"Say that word again, I dare you." Oikawa seethed, her eyes thinned in anger, gently dropping Iwaizumi's hands and crawling close to him in a threatening way. Michimiya grinned and put up his hands defensively, "What, are you a dyke now too?" He laughed, not noticing how Iwaizumi looked on the verge of tears behind Oikawa's furious figure.

Oikawa couldn't stop herself before she bundled her dominant hand into a strong fist, swinging her arm back and punching him across the face as hard as she could. The crack of the impact filled the air, Iwaizumi letting out a gasp and covering her mouth. Michimiya let out a cry of pain as he fell to the floor, his hand going up to his cheek as he looked up at Oikawa in shock.

"You were terrible in bed, by the way. It was why I was moaning her name and not yours." Oikawa said angrily as she looked down at his pathetic face, telling him to go and pollute the air somewhere else. Iwaizumi watched with wide eyes as Michimiya scrambled away in embarrassment, his pride hurt from being punched by a girl and then being insulted about his sexual performance.

Oikawa turned to Iwaizumi and suddenly felt nervous again, asking her quietly if she was okay after what Michimiya had said, offering her a hand and helping her up off the grass. "I'm fine," Iwaizumi replied meekly, not sure how she could muster up any voice after the quick progression of events. They looked at each other for a moment, their minds both racing over what Iwaizumi had confessed. Oikawa pushed back her nerves and leaned forward, pressing her lips against Iwaizumi's softly.

Iwaizumi felt the kiss travel up her face like electricity, the full lips which she had admired for so long tasting like strawberries and summer heat. Oikawa smiled sweetly against the kiss and pulled away, opening her eyes and seeing Iwaizumi's dreamy stare, her lips parted slightly as she looked at Oikawa with affection.

"I like you too, Iwa. A lot. I thought I made that obvious." She smiled quietly as Iwaizumi's doting eyes widened with happiness, Oikawa feeling her soul being sucked into those olive green portals to heaven. Iwaizumi wrapped two arms around her and embraced her with a breath of relief, burying her face in Oikawa's neck that smelt of fruity shampoo.

Oikawa hugged her back with a childish toothy grin, her fingers clinging onto the white fabric on Iwaizumi's back, her feelings for the girl exploding through her system at full force. The two of them embraced each other in a comfortable silence, not really sure what to say now that everything was out in the open.

Iwaizumi felt happiness numb her, pulling away and looking into Oikawa's smiling features, wanting to kiss her again but feeling too nervous. Oikawa closed the distance between their faces, her hands going up to the sides of Iwaizumi's face, wanting to indulge in the sensation more. It was a completely new feeling to be kissing Iwaizumi; no kiss had ever made her body so tingly and euphoric.

Feeling Oikawa's hand wander down her back, Iwaizumi roughly grabbed her hands and shoved the touch off, breaking away from the kiss to give her a deadpan look. "I don't want to do anything like that yet," Iwaizumi said breathlessly, pouting her lips and furrowing her thick brows in anger.

Oikawa giggled cheerily at the defiant reaction, putting her hands up in the air like she had been caught committing a crime. "Fine, fine. I will give you and your dusty unused vagina some time." Iwaizumi gasped in horror and flushed red, Oikawa's giggling getting louder when she knew that her teasing had hit a nerve.

"I'll have you know that I've slept with a few girls." Iwaizumi protested, crossing her arms over her chest in an embarrassed way, hearing Oikawa's teasing laughter. "I actually slept with one of your good friends, if that will shut you up." Oikawa turned to her with a serious look, her expression dropping as she looked down at Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi grinned at the interest, feeling smug, huffing and turning her face up. "I slept with Kuroo when we went to that party at Bokuto's house," She dropped the words as if they were poison, raising her eyebrows and looking happy with herself. Oikawa shook her head disapprovingly and whispered, "That's cold, Iwa-chan."

Laughing quietly with a tightly pressed wide smile, Iwaizumi watched as Oikawa exaggeratedly made a motion with her hands that her heart was broken. Oikawa felt a grin curl at her lips at Iwaizumi's adorable laugh, saying, "I really don't mind if you don't want sex yet. But just so you know, whenever you are ready, I will be waiting with open arms and open legs."

Iwaizumi rolled her eyes and replied that she was disgusting, although her heart skipped happily from how understanding Oikawa was being. Oikawa watched her face with adoring eyes, wanting to know what was blossoming in that beautiful brain. Her fingers fiddling with each other nervously, Iwaizumi let out a staggered sigh, her restless eyes darting everywhere but Oikawa.

"I wanted to say earlier when I first saw you but, uh, y-you look really pretty today." Iwaizumi mumbled as she averted her gaze from the floor upwards, swallowing her nerves and tucking Oikawa's brown hair behind one of her ears, her green earring surfacing. Oikawa felt her face flush pink, the blush sprawled over her nose exposing her devotion.

She knew that her expression was vulnerable and the openness of the conversation was starting to weigh down on her, Oikawa shifting her weight between her feet and resting her head against Iwaizumi's hand. "I feel the urge to talk about the way your chest looks in that top but I feel like normal people don't say that to the person that they like," Oikawa whispered in an embarrassed tone.

Iwaizumi laughed quietly at her honesty, finding it cute that Oikawa was dialling down her usual vulgar self to try and be emotionally intimate. It made Iwaizumi glad that even though she was awkward sometimes, she had an effect on Oikawa and could easily make her flustered. Any doubts that she had about Oikawa's feelings were blown away by the way that Oikawa would look at Iwaizumi through those long eyelashes.


	3. chapter two

Slamming her foot down on the pedal, Oikawa cursed loudly at the driver in front of her car who had abruptly stopped, her eyes flaming with rage. "Eat shit and die, old man!" She shouted out of the open window, the man yelling something back incoherently, to which Oikawa turned up the music in her car and ignored.

Oikawa was driving to pick up Iwaizumi from her house, as they were going to a party that night and the two of them wanted to buy some things beforehand. Beeping obnoxiously loudly instead of texting Iwaizumi when she was outside her house, Oikawa giggled evilly to herself, seeing Iwaizumi's mother looking past the window curtains with disapproval. 

Iwaizumi walked out of the front door and hurried into the car, slamming the car door behind her. "You're such an asshole. If my mum knew that we started seeing each other a week ago, she would put me up for adoption." Iwaizumi said monotonously, clicking her seatbelt in and watching Oikawa's grin grow.

"She would never do that; you're too cute to throw away." Oikawa replied in a baby voice, putting a hand behind Iwaizumi's headrest to back the car out of the parking space. Iwaizumi felt her face flush a pale pink, huffing and turning her face away childishly. "I bought you some sour sweets, they're in the glove box." Oikawa said, keeping her eyes on the road.

A smile curling at her lips, Iwaizumi thanked her and opened the glove box, finding the packet and pulling it open. Oikawa danced her shoulders back and forth to the music on the radio, swinging her head from side to side and drumming her fingers against the wheel. Iwaizumi watched out of the corner of her eye as she chewed slowly, a small smile on her features, her heart fluttering from how adorable she found it.

They arrived back at Oikawa's house with a plastic bag full of alcohol, which noisily clinked together every time Oikawa took a step. "Ushijima texted me and told me that we should bring swimsuits to the party tonight," Oikawa grinned as she put down the alcohol, bending down to stroke Milk who energetically greeted the two of them.

Iwaizumi gave her a deadpan look and replied, "Swimsuits? I would rather die." Oikawa let out a hearty laugh as they approached her bedroom, Iwaizumi throwing down her bag and taking out her clothes that she would change into. "I'm bringing the tiniest bikini I own," Oikawa smirked, skipping over to her wardrobe to look for something.

"That's making me nervous. You're going to look like a supermodel, like you usually do, and everyone is going to be flirting with you and then you'll have to be embarrassed when you say that you're seeing me. I'll look so stupid standing next to you." Iwaizumi let the words tumble out of her mouth before she could stop the uncontrollable thoughts, which burned through her brain most of the time.

Oikawa turned to look at her in shock, not wasting even a second before retorting, "You are so beautiful, Iwa-chan. I guarantee you that no one at that entire party will look nearly half as good as you do right now, before you've even gotten ready. Okay? I'm going to look like a supermodel, yes, but you will look like an even sexier supermodel on my arm."

Iwaizumi looked at the ground and felt a wide gushing smile rise on her features, scratching at her temple and feeling her heart skip happily from the sincere words. "I'm going to get changed in the bathroom," Iwaizumi said quietly, her clothes in a bundle in her arms. Oikawa gave her a look with one raised eyebrow and replied, "Iwa, just change in here. I don't bite."

"Okay, fine. But don't get any ideas." Iwaizumi smirked with a sly glance, raising both eyebrows at Oikawa, seeing her devious expression. "I'll bring an extra skimpy swimsuit in case you want to borrow it at the party. I personally will definitely be hoping for that outcome." Oikawa stated, turning her head away to give Iwaizumi some form of privacy.

Making sure that Oikawa was turned the other way, Iwaizumi unzipped her jeans and pulled them off her ankles, quickly pulling on the cheetah print skirt. She pulled off her hoodie, only wearing a bra underneath, adjusting the black fabric on the bra cups as they had shifted when she had been moving around.

Iwaizumi looked up and smiled when she saw that Oikawa hadn't peeked, fighting her anxious urges and silently walking up to her from behind. Turning around when she felt a tap at her shoulder, Oikawa's eyes widened when they fell on Iwaizumi, quickly falling down to her chest and staying there.

Her heart racing loudly, Iwaizumi licked her lips and confidently kissed Oikawa, holding onto the fabric by her waist. Oikawa kissed back and fought the smirk that wanted to surface, one of her hands coming up and tangling roughly in Iwaizumi's hair, the electric bliss of kissing Iwaizumi still as pleasing as it was when they first kissed a week ago.

Oikawa hummed as she felt Iwaizumi's tongue brush against hers hungrily, her free hand wrapping around Iwaizumi's waist and pulling her close. Iwaizumi felt her desire climb and her heart pulse excitedly in her ears, biting gently on Oikawa's lower lip and feeling her hands wander to the more sensitive parts of her body. 

When she let out a soft moan, Iwaizumi quickly pulled away, crimson flushing to her cheeks, wiping the saliva from her mouth. Oikawa slowly opened her eyes, feeling her heartbeat thump against her ribcage, watching as Iwaizumi hurriedly pulled on her black crop top. Letting out a breath through parted lips, the taste of Iwaizumi still on her tongue, Oikawa turned away and pretended to be choosing an outfit, wanting to hide the pink colour on her face.

"So, uh, did you want to start the pre-drinks?" Oikawa breathed nervously, surprised at how flustered she was, as sexual confidence usually came to her easily. Iwaizumi hid a smirk at her effect on the girl, biting the inside of her cheek and nodding. Wasting no time, Oikawa hurried towards the door, walking so fast that she almost collided into the wall.

After the two shared a drink and felt normal around each other again, Oikawa announced loudly that she was going to get changed now, adding on that she wouldn't mind if Iwaizumi wanted to peek. Iwaizumi rolled her eyes with a short smile, watching as Oikawa started to shimmy out of her clothes slowly. 

Changing into an orange tight dress that had a silver zip running down the middle of her chest, Oikawa asked Iwaizumi if she could put makeup on her with a grin. "Fine, but you do yours first." Iwaizumi replied with a smile, taking another sip from her drink and looking down at her phone, messaging Matsukawa to see if she was going to the party.

A few drinks later, Oikawa exclaimed happily that she was finished and told Iwaizumi to lay down on the bed. Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow with a confused look, asking why that was necessary. Oikawa walked over with a wide smile and took her by the hand, guiding her to the bed and gesturing for her to lie down, her other hand gripping her makeup bag.

Giving in, Iwaizumi sighed and laid down flat on her back, feeling her heart race as she saw Oikawa get onto the bed beside her and straddle her lap. "W-What are you doing?" Iwaizumi asked her in a stammered tone, swallowing nervously and looking down at Oikawa's thighs that were barely covered by the orange fabric.

"I'm doing your makeup, so sit still." Oikawa grinned, pushing Iwaizumi's black hair out of her face, taking out her eyebrow brush. Realising that Oikawa really was just going to do her makeup and not try anything sexual, Iwaizumi smiled widely up at her, feeling the wiry brush run through her brow bone.

Her arms feeling lame by her sides, Iwaizumi slowly brought them up until they rested on Oikawa's hips, holding her in place. Oikawa tried to hide the excited gasp that she felt deep in her lungs, pressing her lips together and continuing to apply the makeup. Iwaizumi was too tipsy to care that she was staring up at Oikawa, her long brown hair that fell down enveloping the two of them in a bubble of secrecy.

The soft music buzzing through the speaker filling the comfortable silence, Oikawa noticed the pulse on Iwaizumi's throat repeatedly raise her skin, Iwaizumi's heart rate raised because of the view of Oikawa's figure on top of her. Moving her face close to do the tricky eyeliner, Oikawa put one hand on Iwaizumi's forehead to steady her balance, Iwaizumi's breath catching in her throat as her eyes fell down the top of Oikawa's dress, quickly averting her gaze out of respect.

"You look so pretty," Oikawa grinned proudly, gingerly brushing the apples of Iwaizumi's cheeks with a white highlight. Iwaizumi felt the short smile on her lips curl further up her skin, flickering her eyes between Oikawa's, the enchanting brown eyes framed with thick perfect makeup. Sliding off of her, Oikawa quickly pulled her dress down back to where it was, going to retrieve a mirror as Iwaizumi sat up.

Oikawa watched her expression expectantly, Iwaizumi turning her face and looking at the dark makeup that accentuated her prominent features and black hair. Putting the mirror down and gesturing for Oikawa to come closer with her hands, Iwaizumi grinned up at her adoringly, her arms going around Oikawa's small waist and grabbing onto the clothed flesh.

Returning the grin, Oikawa tucked Iwaizumi's hair behind both ears, bending down and placing a feathery kiss on her lips. A loud ringing cut through the air, Oikawa leaning over to retrieve her phone, giggling quietly when Iwaizumi's hands stayed glued to her lower back. The phone call was the taxi announcing that it was outside, the two girls hurrying to put their shoes on and retrieve their things.

Loud music assaulted their ears as soon as they were invited in by Ushijima, who was stone cold sober, as usual. She was usually pressured into throwing parties by Tendou, but she never drank, and acted as the responsible one. Iwaizumi dragged Oikawa through the crowd of people, furrowing her brows in irritation at the amount of people who catcalled to Oikawa and asked for her to come sit with them.

Whipping her head in surprise when she heard someone whistle to her, Iwaizumi glanced over to see a boy eyeing her up and down. She gasped when she felt someone touch her waist, relaxing when she saw it was Oikawa, a smirk painted on her full lips as she said, "Clearly I'm not the only one who wants a taste of that cake."

Iwaizumi took a strand of Oikawa's long hair that fell to her hips and played with it, biting the inside of her cheek and feeling the same smirk reflect on her features. "My, my. Don't you two lovebirds look nice." They both turned their heads at the familiar voice, seeing a grinning Kuroo stride up to them, a drink in her hand, towering over them in height.

Letting the brown hair slip from her fingertips, Iwaizumi smiled widely at Kuroo, replying that she looked nice too. Oikawa tightened her grip on Iwaizumi's waist and scowled at Kuroo, thinking about what Iwaizumi had told her about the two of them. Kuroo raised an eyebrow at Oikawa and her sour expression, asking, "What's wrong, sugar tits? It's impolite to not greet people, you know."

Iwaizumi watched Oikawa's jealous expression with an amused tight-lipped smile, raising her eyebrows and looking down at the ground, clearing her throat. "How dare you touch my Iwa-chan with your dirty hands? How dare you have the audacity to touch her soft skin?" Oikawa narrowed her eyes and pointed at Kuroo in the face, her other arm still tightly wrapped around Iwaizumi's waist.

Kuroo let out a hearty laugh through her smirk, turning to look at Iwaizumi, "You finally told her?" Iwaizumi blushed slightly and looked away from Kuroo's intense hazel stare, biting down on her bottom lip to hide the smirk that fought to surface. Oikawa watched the interaction with a disgusted mouth hung agape, looking between the two of them with horror.

"I don't know why you're so upset, Oikawa. You seem to forget that we have also slept together." Kuroo reminded her, raising her eyebrows and taking another sip from her drink. "I'm allowed to sleep with single people, and Iwa was single at the time." She continued, Iwaizumi letting her eyes fall on the band of exposed pale skin underneath Kuroo's shirt, above her low-waisted trousers, where her v-line was visible. She blushed as she remembered the drunken interaction, the sound of Kuroo's moans echoing through her head distantly.

Oikawa scrunched her face up and huffed, "That's Iwaizumi to you." Kuroo rolled her eyes and laughed, her silver tongue piercing flashing under the dimmed lights, watching as Oikawa started to drag Iwaizumi away towards a corner of people. Iwaizumi looked back at Kuroo, her heart racing as Kuroo winked at her with a seductive grin, waving goodbye.

"She's such a greedy slut," Oikawa huffed in anger, pulling Iwaizumi towards a seat. Iwaizumi was thankful that Oikawa hadn't seen Kuroo's flirting, sitting down and accepting a drink from Hinata, who was sat next to them. "You talking about yourself in the third person?" Kageyama asked through a teasing smile to Oikawa, her tone showing how tipsy she was.

Oikawa gave her a venomous look, chugging her drink and throwing the empty glass beside her, before retorting, "At least I've had sex, virgin. You don't deserve that orange treat with porn star tits." Hinata let out a smug laugh at Kageyama's annoyance, wrapping her arms around Oikawa's neck happily and rubbing the sides of their faces together.

Iwaizumi watched with a wide smile, tipping her head back and throwing the drink down her throat, the liquid burning through her chest like wildfire. She blinked slowly, feeling the effects of the alcohol buzz through her dreamily. Oikawa accepted a shot from Hinata, who looked like she had drank too much already, her words slurred.

Kageyama and Iwaizumi chatted about music drunkenly, Iwaizumi's eyes repeatedly drifting to where Oikawa and Hinata were sat, the short ginger girl drunkenly complimenting Oikawa on her outfit and stroking her dark hair. Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi and smiled at her, standing up and letting Hinata fall onto the seat headfirst, walking the short distance to Iwaizumi and Kageyama.

Iwaizumi grinned as Oikawa straddled her lap, Oikawa's knees digging into the seat next to Iwaizumi's exposed thighs, her own hands going up to Oikawa's waist and pulling her down onto her crotch. Oikawa leaned her head forward and joined their lips hungrily, holding onto the sides of Iwaizumi's face and arching her back.

"Ew," They heard Kageyama's disgusted exclamation, hearing her walk away and drag Hinata with her. Iwaizumi was too intoxicated to care that they were in public, furrowing her brows and sighing against Oikawa's open mouth, their tongues sliding over each other. Oikawa felt her desire climb, feeling Iwaizumi's hand inch higher up her thigh, the orange fabric coming up with the motion.

Pulling away from the kiss abruptly, Oikawa looked down breathlessly at Iwaizumi, watching the neon lights' reflection dance in Iwaizumi's green eyes. She took hold of the zip in the middle of her dress and pulled it down slowly, Iwaizumi's eyes following in excitement, watching as more and more skin was exposed, the white bikini bra tight on her breasts coming into view.

Oikawa pulled a face when Iwaizumi hesitatingly pulled the zip back up, pressing her lips together with refrain. "You have no idea how much I want to touch your — and to kiss you and be naked with you, and do all that. I just don't want to when we're drunk, because I want to remember all of our first time." Iwaizumi rambled on drunkenly, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the hem of Oikawa's dress, her touch silken against the sensitive skin.

Feeling a gushing smile curl at her lips, Oikawa moved her hands upward so that they ran through Iwaizumi's black hair. "You're so sweet, Iwa-chan." She smiled, laughing warmly after, looking down at her through an adoring filter. Their lips brushed together, before a loud shout cut through the air beside them, and halted their kiss.

"Do you guys want to play truth or dare?" It was Sugawara, her grey hair pulled back in a ponytail away from her flushed face, a stoned smile on her soft face. Oikawa agreed quickly, jumping off of Iwaizumi and dragging her by the hand towards the circle of people. Iwaizumi saw her vision swim and sway unsteadily, her hand interlaced with Oikawa's, who was sat cross-legged beside her.

Bokuto leaned forward with her usual energetic grin, spinning the bottle to see who she was going to inflict her madness on. It landed on Kuroo, who immediately looked uneasy, laughing lightly and looking towards her best friend, who had an evil grin painted on her features. Bokuto rubbed her hands together like an evil villain, taking her time to think up something.

"Truth," Kuroo stated uneasily, taking a large gulp from her drink in an attempt to prepare herself for whatever was coming. Bokuto hummed and rubbed at her chin exaggeratedly, her eyes flickering around the room to see what trouble she could cause. "Who is your favourite artist of all time?" Bokuto asked, a knowing grin on her face.

Kuroo looked around the room and at all of the eyes on her, her short fingernails sliding up and down the neck of the beer bottle. "And you can't lie," Bokuto added on, putting a hand over her mouth to stop the loud laughter, waiting in anticipation. Kuroo laughed nervously and muttered about how Bokuto was such a bitch, eventually coming out with it, "It's One Direction, okay?"

Bokuto started screeching laughter, basking in Kuroo's embarrassment, her cackling laugh alone making people join in with the laughter, Kuroo shaking her head in disapproval and drinking more through a smile. She leaned forward and spun the bottle, watching it go round and round with her eyes as it chose the person.

Iwaizumi looked up at Kuroo as it landed on her, seeing the devilish smirk rise to her lips. "Dare," She heard herself say, feeling Oikawa's jealousy beg for attention beside her. Kuroo grinned, "I want some sugar." She pointed at her smirking lips, her other hand gesturing for Iwaizumi to come closer, her four fingers curling towards herself repeatedly.

Oikawa knew that she had flaunted herself with other boys in front of Iwaizumi before, and so felt guilty at the flaming jealousy that ignited her negative traits, watching as Iwaizumi drunkenly crawled closer. Kuroo met her in the middle, the two of them both on their knees, holding onto Iwaizumi by her neck and bringing her head up until their lips met.

Iwaizumi felt Kuroo's tongue quickly push through her lips and throb against the inside of her mouth, humming against the cold tongue piercing. Kuroo kept eye contact with Oikawa and her sickened expression, looking smug, putting up her middle finger and throwing it in the direction of Oikawa.

"You've gone quiet," Kageyama whispered teasingly to Oikawa, sat beside her, observing the pale colour on Oikawa's face. Iwaizumi pulled away and looked up nervously at Kuroo, crawling back to where she was sat, the seething flames from Oikawa radiating onto her skin. "I will skin you alive if my spin lands on you," Oikawa narrowed her eyes at Kuroo, directing her harsh words at her.

Kuroo laughed and dismissed the threat, saying it was just a party and it was just some fun. She was only flirting with Iwaizumi because of Oikawa's initial reaction to finding out that Kuroo had slept with Iwaizumi, and she wanted to see how angry she could make her close friend. Iwaizumi felt flattered with the attention and leaned forward with a grin, spinning the bottle and scrunching her face up when it landed on herself. 

Iwaizumi looked up as she heard Bokuto's excited laughter, seeing Hinata poking Bokuto with childish giggles from beside her. "If the bottle lands on yourself then you have to drink from the magic fountain," Bokuto told her, Iwaizumi drunkenly pulling a face and asking what on earth she was talking about. Bokuto explained that she had laced a glass of wine with MDMA and decided that whoever spun the bottle on themselves had to drink it.

"You obviously don't have to, Iwa." Oikawa chimed in from beside her nervously, knowing for a fact that Iwaizumi had ever taken hard drugs, whereas she had, and knew it was incredibly overwhelming the first time. Iwaizumi took the glass and looked down at it uncertainly, swishing the contents around by the neck of the glass, feeling expectant eyes on her.

Iwaizumi threw it back, not really acknowledging that it was MDMA, as she was already drunk, and it looked like alcohol as it had been mixed into the sparkling liquid. She cringed at the bleachy taste, hearing Bokuto cheer her on and Hinata giggle about how Iwaizumi was going to see heaven.

"Right, next go. I'm spinning." Oikawa said hurriedly, leaning forward and concentrating on a way to make sure the bottle landed on the person who would help her get revenge on Kuroo. She grinned when it landed on Kenma, her evil eyes trailing up to the anxious face. "Truth," Kenma said quietly, shuffling her sock-clad toes together.

Oikawa didn't waste a second before asking loudly, "Has Kuroo ever told you that she has a massive crush on you?" Kuroo looked down at her beer bottle, knowing that she deserved that after taunting Oikawa. Kenma swallowed nervously, taking a piece of her blonde hair and playing with it as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

"She told me," Kenma replied quietly, hiding her face behind the chunk of hair in her hand, not feeling drunk enough to be having this conversation with her friends. Kuroo chimed in from across the room, "Kenma doesn't feel the same, if that was what you needed to upset me over screwing Iwa."

Oikawa let out a dramatic laugh, retorting, "Did everyone hear that? Kenma doesn't like her back; ooh, that's rough. That's so rough. Imagine confessing your feelings to your closest childhood friend and they turn you down. So you fuck every other girl in sight to try and make her jealous even though you know it's pointless because she will never want you?"

Iwaizumi poked Oikawa in the side and said that she was getting too mean, Kuroo taking the thundering rain of insults defeatedly, biting the inside of her cheek, her eyes flickering over to Kenma who guiltily hid behind her hair. "I've just witnessed a murder," Bokuto exclaimed loudly, her hand over her mouth in shock as she looked between Oikawa and Kuroo, a smug smile painted on Oikawa's features as she watched the awkwardness combust.

Knowing that Iwaizumi was going to start tripping soon, Oikawa took one of her hands, asking her quietly if she was feeling okay. Iwaizumi looked at her with a vacant stare, her hearing static and her vision staggered and fuzzy. "I feel okay, I think. Everything is just so deep." Iwaizumi said as she blinked slowly, running her fingertips over Oikawa's forehead dreamily.

Oikawa laughed lightly, glad that Iwaizumi was clearly enjoying herself, returning the wide eyed stare, Iwaizumi's pupils large in her green eyes. She heard Bokuto change the topic away from Kuroo's misfortunes quickly, announcing that they were all going to the pool. Ushjima chimed in that if anyone spilled any drinks in there she would kick their ass, sitting between Tendou's legs, Tendou's chin resting on the top of her head, stoned out of her mind.

"Hey, virgin." Oikawa called to Kageyama, who turned to her with an angry expression, replying not to call her that. "Can you take care of Iwa-chan while I change into my swimsuit? Just make sure she doesn't freak out," Oikawa asked, giggling afterwards as Iwaizumi started making car engine sounds, vrooming through her bottom lip and teeth.

Kageyama gave Iwaizumi a look and hesitantly agreed, Oikawa immediately getting up to go and take off her dress somewhere private. Iwaizumi turned her head slowly towards Kageyama, who helped her up and brought her towards the pool, where everybody else were already in their swimsuits and stepping in.

"Are you feeling okay?" Kageyama asked her in an uncertain tone, watching Iwaizumi's eyes widen in exaggerated excitement as she looked down at the shimmering blue water. "Pool, me, like swim." Iwaizumi whispered under her breath, taking her crop top into her fingertips by the hem and pulling it up over her neck, exposing her bra underneath.

She took off her shoes and skirt before Kageyama could tell her that her underwear wasn't waterproof, left in her black bra and black pants. "So wavy," Iwaizumi stated, after pushing herself into the water until it went up to her waist, moving her arms around as if she had never felt water on her skin before.

Oikawa pulled off her dress quickly and stowed it away with her things, her white bikini tight on her breasts and her backside. She looked at herself once more in the bathroom mirror before leaving, rushing back to the pool, worried about Iwaizumi. An amused grin rose to her features when her eyes landed on Iwaizumi, who was staring at Hinata on the other side of the pool, her mouth hung agape and her eyes double the usual size, looking deep in a trance.

"You look so hot," Oikawa heard someone compliment her before she could reach Iwaizumi, turning and seeing some random guy from the boys volleyball team. She thanked him politely, feeling smug with the words and the other numerous stares at her figure. Hinata was sat next to Bokuto in her bikini, and could feel Iwaizumi's stare on her large breasts, looking up to see Iwaizumi's head turned downwards at them, her eyes wide and her mouth hung open.

Oikawa finally escaped the attention to slip into the pool beside Iwaizumi, a grin on her features as she said, "Iwa-chan, you can't stare like that. It makes girls uncomfortable." Iwaizumi couldn't tear her eyes away, the drug in her system making her brain think that the massive boobs were the only important thing in her life. She finally registered the familiar voice, and turned to look at Oikawa, her wide eyes raking down the body.

"Damn, mami. Are you single?" Iwaizumi asked loudly, her hands gripping onto Oikawa's waist as she looked over Oikawa's shoulder, looking down obviously at her ass, whipping her head back to the front of her body to gaze at her chest. Oikawa let out a hearty giggle, wrapping her arms around Iwaizumi's neck, enjoying the adoration. Iwaizumi erratically kissed at the side of Oikawa's face before abruptly stopping, poking her to try and get her attention.

Iwaizumi whispered, "Did you see the titties over there? Don't look and make it obvious, but they belong to that ginger cat. I think she's called Hamster, or something." Oikawa failed to supress her laughter, watching as Iwaizumi blatantly pointed to Hinata. "Don't tell her I'm looking at her titties, okay?" Iwaizumi shouted at full volume, all eyes falling on her, as she pointed to Hinata and looked at Oikawa with wide eyes.

Oikawa covered her face with her hand, her entire body shaking with laughter, loud giggles echoing in the air. Hinata burst out laughing, too drunk to be uncomfortable with the attention, knowing that Iwaizumi was out of her mind and wasn't actively trying to sexualise her. "I'm flattered, Iwaizumi. As long as you don't touch me, you go wild." She laughed, taking another gulp from her drink.

Iwaizumi looked back at Oikawa with an excited grin, asking, "Is it okay if I go closer?" Oikawa smiled at the fact that Iwaizumi asked permission, nodding her head, Iwaizumi clumsily wading over to Hinata. "Woah," Iwaizumi sighed dreamily, standing directly in front of Hinata, looking down at the large round breasts and the green fabric on the bikini bra.

"Everyone acknowledges how amazing my baby's boobs are, but you're the only one brave enough to stare. I commend you for that." Bokuto said drunkenly to Iwaizumi from beside Hinata, putting an arm around Hinata's exposed shoulder affectionately. Hinata leaned into the touch with a wide smile, glad that Bokuto had taken on the 'mum' friend role with her, always appreciating the maternal-like support.

Oikawa waded over towards the three of them, wanting to make sure that Iwaizumi didn't go too far. "Is she behaving herself?" Oikawa asked Hinata and Bokuto, laughing slightly when she saw the same dazed expression on Iwaizumi's features as she stared down at Hinata's chest. "She's fine, don't worry." Hinata smiled genuinely at Oikawa, leaning her head against Bokuto's neck.

"Are you having fun, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked as if she were speaking to a child, putting an arm around Iwaizumi's shoulder and rubbing at the side of her face affectionately. Putting a hand against Oikawa's hand on her cheek, Iwaizumi nodded and said, "Me and these boobies go way back. I think we were married with kids in a past life, or something."

The other three girls laughed at her high ramblings, hearing the water beside them stir, as someone walked towards them, Oikawa looking up and seeing Kuroo. "Sorry for getting so personal before, I know that Kenma will come around when she realises how delicious you are." Kuroo smiled genuinely at her and said that she deserved the verbal beatdown, pushing back the long brown hair from Oikawa's face and leaning down to place a kiss on her cheek. 

Iwaizumi let her free hand that wasn't on Oikawa's hand against her face slither around Oikawa's waist absentmindedly, the fingers inching up her naked back. Oikawa felt Iwaizumi's fingers bravely attempt to untie the strings holding up her bikini bra, although it was clear that Iwaizumi was too high and drunk to tackle the tight knot.

Oikawa turned her face slowly to look at her with an amused smile, seeing Iwaizumi put on an innocent face and smile back at her dumbly. "I look at the big boobs but your boobs are the most sexy to me. And your ass is so round and fat and it jiggles whenever you wear a short dress with a thong. I just want to lick whipped cream off every curve of your body." Iwaizumi slurred, the same innocent smile on her features.

A pink blush rose to Oikawa's nose as she looked around, nervously covering her face as her arousal bud in the pit of her stomach from Iwaizumi's words. Kuroo and Bokuto laughed loudly at how brave Iwaizumi was on drugs, finding it amusing how flustered Oikawa got, Iwaizumi giggling to join in with the laughter, not knowing what she had done that was so funny.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa laughed nervously, leaning into Iwaizumi's embrace, continuing by saying that they were in public. Iwaizumi giggled quietly through tight lips, closing her eyes and leaning her head against Oikawa's, squeezing her tightly. For the rest of the party, Oikawa looked after Iwaizumi and made sure that she didn't hurt herself or anyone else, the two girls staying at the house until gone two in the morning, when Iwaizumi said that she started to feel sick.

Oikawa ordered a taxi for the two of them and carried Iwaizumi into her empty house, Milk excitedly greeting them in the dark hallway. Iwaizumi groaned about how she could see cows drinking grass incoherently, letting Oikawa undress her from her damp clothes and change her into pyjamas. Very drunk herself, Oikawa giggled at Iwaizumi's high state and dressed into her own pyjamas, patting the bed for Milk to jump up, turning off the bedside lamp.

Iwaizumi closed her eyes slowly, hearing Oikawa's tired sigh, shuffling her body into a comfortable sleeping position. She turned and reached around so that she was clinging onto Oikawa, burying her face in the warm neck. "Mmm," Iwaizumi hummed quietly, rubbing her face into the neck, spooning Oikawa from behind.

Oikawa felt a wide smile spread on her features, her breath catching in her throat and her heart racing as she felt Iwaizumi's warm hand slip under the hem of her shirt. The hand inched up higher, her fingertips starting to caress in small circles. "Iwa-chan, you're too smashed to want to do this. Wait until you're sober." Oikawa whispered, even though she was desperate to feel Iwaizumi's touch more. The difference in their intoxication levels made consent impossible, Oikawa repeated in her mind.

Reaching a hand up to Iwaizumi's wrist to stop her, Oikawa smiled drunkenly back at her. "Go to sleep, baby." She whispered, watching as Iwaizumi dropped her hands and wrapped her in a tight hug, mumbling something about going to sleep and instantly passing out on Oikawa's chest. Oikawa felt her smile widen as she looked down at Iwaizumi, hearing soft sighs tumble out of her parted lips as she dreamed and slept.

Wrapping one arm around Iwaizumi and the other around Milk, Oikawa shut her eyes, her heart still pounding against her ribcage from the excitement of the party. She felt contentment wash over her, not being able to remember the last time someone had slept in the same bed as her. She could hear Iwaizumi's loud breaths and Milk's wheezing snores, falling asleep with her lips curled upwards slightly.


	4. chapter three

Iwaizumi heard the front door close, softly stepping up to look out of the window, watching as her mother and older brother entered the car. They were going away for the night to visit distant family, and Iwaizumi had wriggled her way out of it, lying when pleading that she had a big game she couldn't miss.

She looked down at her phone as it buzzed, smiling as she saw that she had a notification from Oikawa. Clicking on the Instagram icon, Iwaizumi opened the photo message, the pixels transforming with ease before her. Her eyes widened when she saw that Oikawa had just gotten out of the shower, a devilish grin on her full lips as she took the photo in the mirror, her free hand covering her nipples, her legs crossed tightly to cover her genitals, droplets of water scattered on her skin.

Iwaizumi felt her cheeks burn hot, pulling the phone closer to her face, her eyes hungrily taking in every sliver of the image. She pressed her lips together and excitedly giggled in a low tone, glad that she was alone to freak out in peace. Another message came through, Iwaizumi clicking on it right away, the image changing to the next one.

It was a video of Oikawa singing obnoxiously loudly to Megan Thee Stallion, pointing at herself aggressively in the mirror as she rapped to the obscene lyrics. A large smile stretched on Iwaizumi's face, texting her back and saying that she should come over, Oikawa immediately responding by saying that she was getting ready to leave.

Oikawa grinned when Iwaizumi swung open the front door, wrapping her arms around her waist and kissing the side of her face. "It's been almost a full day since we've seen each other in person, Iwa-chan. I was going crazy." She pulled off her jacket and discarded her bag, Iwaizumi watching with adoring eyes, taking in Oikawa's appearance.

"You look amazing," Iwaizumi complimented her, glad that she didn't sound as nervous as she used to when she would call Oikawa attractive. Oikawa felt her grin grow, her heart fluttering like a newborn baby bird, thanking her sweetly and pressing their lips together. "You look yummy, as usual." Oikawa added on the end, tilting her head to the side and smiling innocently.

Iwaizumi laughed lightly and joined their lips again, smiling against Oikawa's full lips. She pulled away and asked if Oikawa wanted to watch a movie, Oikawa nodding dumbly, not even hearing what Iwaizumi had said, her eyes still closed, dazed from the kiss. Iwaizumi could have asked her to commit murder in that moment and she would have agreed.

The movie started to play, Iwaizumi watching over the top of Oikawa's dark hair, the light from the TV making the strands look grey. Oikawa was cuddled up against her, both arms around her torso, her head rested against Iwaizumi's chest, both of their legs curled up to the side on the sofa beside them.

Iwaizumi's fingertips played with the brown hair at Oikawa's hips, feeling her heart race at how close their bodies were. The two had been seeing each other for almost a month now, and kissing over the clothes was the only thing that Iwaizumi had been comfortable with so far, but in the recent days her trust and affection for Oikawa had grown so tall that it was clear she would be ready when the time naturally came. 

"Oh, my God. I forgot to tell you. Guess what Hinata told me the other day?" Oikawa asked in a dramatic tone, keeping her head turned towards the screen, Iwaizumi smiling widely out of sight at how cute she found her. Iwaizumi asked her what, pretending not to care, glad that Oikawa couldn't see her childish grin.

Oikawa continued, "Apparently a teacher at Karasuno was fired for hooking up with a student. She said it was obviously disgusting, but if she was legal she would definitely sleep with him too." Iwaizumi laughed loudly, shaking her head in disapproval, saying that even if he was attractive you don't admit it if they're a paedophile. 

A smile curling at her lips from Iwaizumi's adorable laugh, Oikawa shuffled her sock-clad toes together against the sofa, her grip tightening on Iwaizumi's torso. "Is it considered paedophilia if I slept with a 20-year-old when I was 16?" Oikawa asked through a grin, Iwaizumi feeling a nauseous parasite chew at her stomach from the thought of Oikawa with someone else, even if it was in the past.

Iwaizumi let the smile drop from her face, her mind quickly mutating into horrible thoughts about how she wasn't significant to Oikawa and she would find another sexual partner soon, if she hadn't already. Oikawa didn't notice the change in mood, her head still facing towards the TV, her arms tight around Iwaizumi, a wide content smile on her features.

"You're even getting into dangerous territory, being a month older than me and all." Oikawa added with a giggle, Iwaizumi snapping out of the snowballing thoughts as she heard the cute laugh, the smile returning to her face, squeezing Oikawa closer to her. The movie continued to play, the loud booms and crashes from the action scenes echoing off the walls, coinciding with the flashes of light that illuminated the small living room.

They watched in a comfortable silence, Iwaizumi repeatedly looking down at the top of Oikawa's head to see if she was enjoying the movie, her eyes glued to the middle part of her brown hair. She felt her eyes flicker down to Oikawa's back, and then quickly flicker down to the short skirt that Oikawa was wearing, which had come up slightly because of the way she was sitting against Iwaizumi.

Feeling her face flush at the exposed skin, Iwaizumi quickly averted her eyes, looking back at the movie, although her mind had already been tainted with the dirty feelings. Her mind fell back to the photo that Oikawa had sent her earlier, gulping nervously as she remembered the water droplets clinging to the naked skin, all cells on her body screaming out that Oikawa was pressed against her.

Iwaizumi guiltily looked down at Oikawa's skirt again, her heart thumping in her ears, the raised skirt exposing the tiny underwear underneath, which had a heart pattern woven into the black fabric. Oikawa could feel Iwaizumi's heart racing from beside her temple, and it was making Oikawa nervous too. She licked her lips and pretended not to notice, keeping her eyes glued to the television, wanting to know what was going through Iwaizumi's mind.

"Uh, I didn't say before, but my mum and brother won't be b-back tonight." Iwaizumi awkwardly stammered the words out, Oikawa turning her head upwards to look at her, seeing the wide nervous eyes and dark red colour painted over the skin on her face. An awkward silence ensued, as Oikawa's face slowly turned pink at what she said, as both of them knew what Iwaizumi was suggesting.

Oikawa swallowed nervously and nodded her head, looking away, feeling irritated at herself for being so shy around Iwaizumi when it got sexual. She knew that she would be fine once they got started, but the actual initiation of it had never been so nerve-wracking for her. She felt insecure that Iwaizumi might not enjoy it, or it would change things, aside from the fact that Iwaizumi made her a nervous mess already.

Iwaizumi moved the hand that was playing with Oikawa's hair slowly south, her fingers teasing around the hem of the skirt, her heartbeat so powerfully strong it was painful. Oikawa looked back up at her, their timid eyes meeting, the brown and green melting into each other. She pushed her head upwards until her lips met Iwaizumi's, her eyes gently shutting, feeling her nerves wash away with the kiss.

Feeling her confidence pick up from the reciprocation, Iwaizumi kissed her back deeply, her hand that was playing with the skirt hem inching underneath the fabric, feeling the warm skin on Oikawa's backside. Oikawa moved her arms that were around Iwaizumi's torso up to her black hair, tangling her fingers in the thick locks, furrowing her brows and moving her lips against Iwaizumi's.

Her heartbeat loud in her ears and her desire soaring, Iwaizumi pushed her tongue past Oikawa's lips, feeling the vibration of Oikawa's hums of pleasure through her face. Oikawa moved her body so that her legs were spread on either side of Iwaizumi, straddling her lap, feeling her genitals get more excited from the air underneath her skirt.

Iwaizumi moved both hands under the skirt, gripping roughly at the flesh, pulling Oikawa further down onto her. Oikawa could hear her breathing getting heavier at the touch, the kissing getting more erratic, as she moved a hand up Iwaizumi's shirt, taking a breast into her hand and caressing it.

Pulling away breathlessly, Iwaizumi asked if Oikawa wanted to go to her bedroom instead, one of her hands going under her own top and using Oikawa's hand as a puppet to grope at her chest. Oikawa nodded quickly, feeling too flustered to speak, moving herself off of the lap and sprinting upstairs as fast as she could, Iwaizumi not far behind, running as fast as she could, her heart thumping against her ribcage.

Oikawa sat on the edge of the bed nervously, feeling like she had never been in Iwaizumi's bedroom before. Iwaizumi closed the door and softly stepped toward her with a gulp, knowing that if she waited any longer to touch Oikawa, she would lose her courage. She bent over to kiss her, holding her by the sides of her face, Oikawa's hands going up to grip at the fabric on Iwaizumi's shoulders.

Iwaizumi gently pushed Oikawa back until she was laying flat on the bed, supporting her body weight on her forearms beside Oikawa's face, all of her fingers wrapping around different strands of brown hair. Oikawa felt her legs being pushed apart, her hands going up to Iwaizumi's back, sighing softly against the deep kiss, her fingers gripping onto the clothed flesh.

Pushing her body down between the separated legs, Iwaizumi bit down on Oikawa's bottom lip, one of her hands going down to hold Oikawa's thigh against the bed. Oikawa pulled Iwaizumi's body down further by her lower back, feeling her heartbeat pulse excitedly through her veins, the sounds of their lips smacking and their heavy breathing filling the air.

Iwaizumi felt brave and moved her hand up Oikawa's thigh, sliding past the skirt fabric and towards her underwear. Oikawa hungrily sucked at Iwaizumi's tongue, pushing her knees further against the bed, spreading her legs more, the arousal burning through her body. She pulled away from the kiss as Iwaizumi slipped past her underwear and touched at the wet flesh, a blush rising to the bridge of her nose as she let out a soft moan, looking up at Iwaizumi nervously.

Their noses brushing together from how close their faces were, Iwaizumi looked down at her with the same nervous stare, moving her first two fingers down until she was caressing the wet flesh surrounding Oikawa's opening. "That feels nice," Oikawa whispered quietly through heavy breaths, fluttering her eyes shut from pleasure, and also from feeling too nervous to look Iwaizumi in the eyes.

Iwaizumi felt her own arousal grow as she heard Oikawa's quiet moans, moving her fingers in motions that were slow and precise, swallowing a lump in her throat as she looked down at Oikawa's expression of pleasure. Tugging at the hem of Iwaizumi's top, Oikawa opened her eyes and looked into Iwaizumi's green irises, Iwaizumi helping her pull the shirt off awkwardly.

Oikawa looked at the naked chest with lust, her hand moving up to wrap around the soft flesh, biting down on her lip and running her thumb over the hard nipple. Iwaizumi sighed softly at the touch, Oikawa continuing to caress the sensitive nipple, her other fingers squeezing and pulling at the cushiony breast.

Pushing her body downwards, the back of her hand digging into her crotch, Iwaizumi hungrily joined their lips again, grinding her body down and simultaneously rubbing underneath Oikawa's underwear with her fingers. Oikawa moaned against her mouth, one hand gripping onto Iwaizumi's shoulder and the other groping at her naked chest.

Iwaizumi took her hand out of the underwear and started to pull Oikawa's top off hurriedly, feeling her desire almost overspill. Oikawa helped her pull it off, the two of them looking at each other for a moment and laughing shyly, both of them not bothered by how awkward it was; they both found it cute how nervous the other was.

Starting to suck hickeys at Oikawa's neck, Iwaizumi unclipped the back of Oikawa's bra and discarded it to the side, inhaling sharply as her eyes fell down on the completely naked breasts. "Wow, there they are." Iwaizumi breathed, Oikawa letting out a giggle and shoving her, replying that was a weird way to put it, feeling the urge to cover them.

"Sorry," Iwaizumi apologised, looking away nervously, her chest rising and falling heavily with how flustered she felt. Oikawa smiled at her shyly, tucking brown hair that had fallen into her face behind an ear, using her other hand to guide Iwaizumi's hands to her chest, using them as a puppet to grope at them.

Iwaizumi looked down at them and let out a breath, her hands rubbing over the flesh and caressing the hard nipples, Oikawa looking down at them with her, a seductive smirk playing on her lips. Connecting their lips again forcefully, Iwaizumi heard Oikawa's surprised breath, their tongues throbbing against each other, their hands wandering on each other's skin.

Oikawa pushed her skirt and underwear down desperately, kicking them off her ankles, Iwaizumi breaking away from the deep kiss and starting to kiss down her chest. Oikawa weakly tangled a hand in Iwaizumi's hair, watching nervously as the head sank further south over her naked rising and falling chest, Iwaizumi pushing her legs up so that her knees were in the air and her feet were flat against the bed.

Iwaizumi hooked her hands around Oikawa's thighs and moved her face towards the genitals, her tongue laying flat before quickly stretching all the way up to the clitoris. Oikawa heard a loud moan scratch at the back of her throat, biting at the tip of her index finger as she felt herself blush at the noise, wanting to cover her face.

Starting to move her tongue up and down, Iwaizumi looked up at Oikawa past the naked breathing flesh, the sounds of her moans filling the air. She noticed that Oikawa was trying to hide her face with her hands, reaching up and pushing the hand away with a supressed smile, moving both hands up until she was pulling at the flesh on Oikawa's breasts.

Oikawa felt a small smile curl at her lips, her expression quickly contorting back to furrowed brows and an agape mouth from pleasure, arching her back as Iwaizumi continued to lick and suck, the feeling of Iwaizumi's hands roughly groping at her chest adding to the euphoria. She knew that her face was flushed red and tried not to think about insecurities, her gaze turned down to Iwaizumi adoringly.

Iwaizumi moved her head and tongue around in small circles, wrapping her lips around the flesh at Oikawa's clitoris and creating a vacuum, looking up at her and sucking as hard as she could on the sensitive area. "Iwa," Oikawa moaned, pushing her head upwards into the bed, stretching her neck out and hearing moans surface from deep in her chest from the overwhelming feeling.

Trying not to let her face show how attractive she found Oikawa moaning her name, Iwaizumi felt her arousal grow underneath her underwear, moving her tongue down and pushing it inside of Oikawa, stretching her own lips back so that she could force the majority of her tongue inside. Oikawa screwed her face up and gripped the sheets beside her, looking down at Iwaizumi through furrowed brows, moans scratching out of her mouth that hung open.

Iwaizumi continued to go down on her, her fingers caressing and playing with Oikawa's hard nipples at her chest, squeezing them roughly, making Oikawa's gasp in surprise through heavy breaths. "Iwa, that feels so good. Iwa." Oikawa breathed through a loud moan, throwing her head to the side, feeling her brown hair stuck wet to her forehead messily.

Her own genitals pleading to be touched, Iwaizumi hungrily moved her hands back down to Oikawa's thighs so that she could go deeper, her tongue rapidly moving back and forth against her clitoris. Oikawa heard her moans get louder as the feeling soared, starting as a bud deep in her stomach, growing into a tall blossom, pulling her bottom lip through her teeth with a hum.

Oikawa wrapped her thighs around Iwaizumi's head tighter, grinding her body against the face, turning her face up to the ceiling, knowing that she was approaching her peak. Iwaizumi felt the thighs tremble around her face, Oikawa's moans getting higher and shorter until she let out a final groan, her body curling in on itself as her body spasmed and trembled.

Iwaizumi slowly pulled her face away, making sure to let her tongue run over the genitals one more time to let Oikawa ride the high, looking up at her and wiping the substances away from her face. Oikawa failed to supress the urge to hide her face, looking down at Iwaizumi through the peeking gaps in her fingers shyly.

"I couldn't breathe there for a second," Iwaizumi whispered through a teasing smile, moving her face up and pushing through Oikawa's arms that attempted to cover her face. Oikawa felt a smirk rise to her features, contrasting her embarrassed blush, letting out a small laugh and apologising for suffocating her.

Oikawa joined their lips, feeling her affection for Iwaizumi burst through every nerve in her system, igniting her soul with emotion. She wrapped her fingers around the hem of Iwaizumi's trousers and started to tug them down, pulling away from the kiss to shuffle her body downwards, pulling the trousers and underwear off her ankles.

Iwaizumi inhaled nervously as she watched Oikawa push her so that she was laying on her back, biting the inside of her cheek as Oikawa pushed her legs apart and positioned herself between her thighs. Oikawa hooked her fingers around the soft thighs and moved her face forward, her nerves feeling less extreme. A short moan spiralled out of Iwaizumi's lips as Oikawa's tongue pressed against her, both hands gripping at the sheets at the ends of her outstretched arms beside her.

Oikawa started stroking her tongue up and down slowly, hearing Iwaizumi's whimpering heavy breaths, intertwined with soft moans. She moved one of her hands up the silky thigh and pushed her middle finger gently into Iwaizumi, continuing to slowly move her tongue around the wet flesh surrounding the opening.

Iwaizumi felt the euphoria wash over her body, high moans scratching at the back of her throat, fluttering her eyes shut and letting her head fall back against the bed. Looking up at her through thick eyelashes, Oikawa started to push her index finger in too, the moans starting to coincide with Oikawa's curling fingers.

Oikawa pushed and pulled the fingers, her tongue running over the sensitive flesh, Iwaizumi furrowing her brows and hearing loud moans tumble out of her throat, echoing off the walls. She opened her eyes to look down at Oikawa, meeting her seductive glance, feeling her pleasure increase from the stare. 

Starting to increase the pace of her fingers, Oikawa felt herself getting turned on again from the noises that Iwaizumi was making, the high moans lingering in the air. She hummed against Iwaizumi's genitals, the vibration making Iwaizumi let out a surprised breath, arching her back and giving her body over to the ecstasy.

Iwaizumi pushed her head up and supported her upper half on her forearms, looking down through furrowed brows and an agape mouth, her moans scratching from deep inside her body. Her chest heaved up and down, the familiar feeling of orgasm starting to blossom at the pit of her stomach, the feeling of Oikawa's fingers repeatedly digging deep inside her mixed with the stimulation on her clitoris more than enough to finish.

Oikawa could tell from the way that Iwaizumi's thighs trembled to the way her moans got higher and shorter that she was about to finish, starting to move her fingers in and out rapidly, the tip of her tongue flicking against the clitoris at the same speed. Iwaizumi heard her moans get embarrassingly loud, each moan coinciding with a deep exhale, screwing her face up and turning her face up to the ceiling, rocking her hips against the mouth.

A finishing almost-scream spiralled out of her open mouth, her legs closing tightly as her body curled in on itself, her eyes rolling to the back of her head until only the whites were visible. Oikawa watched her finish with a short smirk, all of the sexual frustration of waiting for Iwaizumi to be ready being worth it as she watched her breathe and sweat, riding her high.

Letting her tongue run over the sensitive genitals again, hearing Iwaizumi's gasp as her body jerked and spasmed, Oikawa slithered her naked body upwards until their faces were close. "You're insanely sexy," Oikawa whispered through her smirk, wiping the hair away from Iwaizumi's sweaty face, hovering her naked body over hers.

Iwaizumi smiled breathlessly, feeling the euphoria from her orgasm give her confidence, wrapping both arms around Oikawa and letting her hands wander up her back. She looked up at her with misty lustful eyes, joining their lips hungrily and throbbing her tongue against the inside of Oikawa's mouth.

Oikawa used one hand to grope at Iwaizumi's chest, the other disappearing between Iwaizumi's thighs, Iwaizumi letting out a soft sigh at the touch. Keeping one hand against Oikawa's back as she kissed her deeply, Iwaizumi moved her other hand down Oikawa's body until she was rubbing at the wet flesh.

They moaned into each other's mouths, Oikawa furrowing her brows in pleasure and grinding her hips against the touch, simultaneously rubbing Iwaizumi's genitals. Iwaizumi wrapped Oikawa's dark hair around her hand, pulling it back, their lips slipping away from each other, a trail of saliva keeping them connected by their bottom lips, Oikawa's neck outstretched as she breathed moans.

Iwaizumi looked up at the heavenly sight, saliva dripping from Oikawa's bottom lip as her mouth stayed open and her face contorted into pleasure, keeping eye contact with Iwaizumi. Low moans scratched at the back of their throats, their fingers starting to move faster up and down each other, feeling their peak approach again.

Taking one of Oikawa's hard nipples into her panting mouth, Iwaizumi held the flesh between her teeth, using her tongue to lick against it. Oikawa heard her moans get louder, the feeling of Iwaizumi's moaning mouth on her breasts turning her on more. Iwaizumi finished first, her body trembling from the second orgasm, Oikawa finishing shortly after, doubling over, her heartbeat loud in her ears. 

A comfortable silence filled the room as they both caught their breath, their brains feeling light as a feather, small spasms jerking their body. Iwaizumi realised that she still had Oikawa's hair wrapped around her hand and wrist, gently untangling it, a few brown strands sticking to the sweat on her arm.

"That was insane," Oikawa murmured, her face still pressed against Iwaizumi's naked chest, slowly pushing her head up to look at Iwaizumi in the eyes. Iwaizumi felt a smile curl at her lips, her eyes trailing down the two of their naked bodies, seeing various hand and teeth marks on Oikawa's sweaty skin.

Iwaizumi hoarsely replied, "I've never ever felt so good in my whole life." Oikawa smiled back up at her, holding her face with both hands, her chin resting against the centre of Iwaizumi's chest. Both of their flushed faces looked into each other, the same dazed smile on their lips.

"You're too good for me, Iwa." Oikawa whispered quietly through her smile, taking a black strand of Iwaizumi's hair that had fallen into her forehead, sheathed with thin sweat, and twirling it around her finger. Iwaizumi felt the soft sigh against her chin, seeing the abrupt insecurities flash behind Oikawa's brown irises.

Iwaizumi whispered back, "I should be the one saying that to you," as she caressed the skin on Oikawa's lower back, her fingers silky and feathery to the touch. Oikawa smiled meekly and pressed the side of her face against Iwaizumi, their sweaty bodies tangled together. Their loud breathing enveloped the air around them, a warm silence filling the bubble. Iwaizumi eventually asked if she wanted to have a shower, Oikawa agreeing, unable to stop the wide smile that dominated her features.

The hot water splashed to the ground around them, the steam spiralling up in grey clouds and misting up the clear shower walls. Iwaizumi tipped the shampoo bottle upside down and squeezed some of the pink cream into her palm, telling Oikawa to come closer, watching as the cute grin rose to her full lips.

Iwaizumi moved both hands up to Oikawa's head, starting to lather the shampoo into her wet hair, her fingers sinking deep into the chestnut texture. Oikawa looked down at her with adoring eyes, enjoying the feeling of the fingers running through her scalp, foam starting to trickle down her temple from the shampoo.

Oikawa poured some of the shampoo onto her palm and mirrored her actions, her fingers running through Iwaizumi's black hair, lathering it on in circles. Iwaizumi rubbed the shampoo through the length of Oikawa's long hair, and after she washed it off of her it stuck flat and silky to the dimples on her lower back.

The sound of the water repeatedly pattering on the floor echoed off the bathroom tiles, Iwaizumi washing her face as Oikawa rinsed off Iwaizumi's soapy hair. Oikawa giggled as Iwaizumi started to clean her body with banana body wash, the yellow gel giving the air a fruity scent. The dazed smiles were still on their flushed faces, the hair on their heads scraped back into wet dark constellations against their backs.

Iwaizumi ran her soapy hands up Oikawa's arms, feeling her do the same with the body wash on her shoulders, the pleasant aroma of the shower circulating up into their nostrils and into their systems. Oikawa felt her grin transform into a sexual smile as she rubbed her soapy hands over Iwaizumi's breasts, running over the nipples, which quickly turned hard at the stimulation.

Feeling her arousal bud once more, Iwaizumi moved her hands down to Oikawa's breasts, her soapy fingers slipping and sliding over the flesh. She quickly connected their lips with a low laugh, one of her hands going around and pulling Oikawa close by her naked hips, Oikawa kissing back through a seductive laugh and wrapping a leg around her, her soapy hands desperately clinging onto the flesh on Iwaizumi's back.

Iwaizumi sucked at the tip of Oikawa's tongue and felt her hum, her hand grabbing at the flesh on Oikawa's backside roughly, digging her short fingernails into the fat. Guiding them hurriedly down to the shower floor, Iwaizumi positioned herself behind Oikawa, pressing the front of her body to the back of Oikawa's, and ordered her to spread her legs.

Iwaizumi slithered an arm around the back of Oikawa's waist, her first two fingers travelling down her stomach and between her thighs, quickly finding the wet flesh. Pulling her bottom lip through her teeth, Oikawa hummed a soft moan, not sure how her body could take another orgasm. She pushed her head back into Iwaizumi's neck, looking back at her desperately, moaning with each motion.

Oikawa's heavy breaths joined the sound of the shower patters, the pleasure swirling through her bloodstream, her eyes fluttering shut as Iwaizumi repeatedly rubbed at her clitoris. She finished quickly, the orgasm heightened by the two before it, her body tightening as she fell against Iwaizumi with a high moan. 

Their exhausted lips met again messily, Oikawa turning her body over and rubbing their soapy breasts together. Iwaizumi bit at Oikawa's bottom lip and felt her contented hums, her hands wandering up Oikawa's damp curves and shapes. Oikawa moved her hand down to Iwaizumi's genitals with a smirk, her fingers starting to caress in slow circles at her genitals.

Iwaizumi sighed softly, her chest rising and falling quickly, feeling Oikawa pull away from her lips, watching Oikawa sink her teeth into her bottom lip seductively as she hovered over Iwaizumi. She moved both hands up and grasped at the flesh on Oikawa's backside, one hand sliding back to the front and squeezing at her breasts.

Oikawa moved her fingers rapidly, enjoying the groping, basically straddling Iwaizumi as Iwaizumi looked up at her dreamily, both of her hands gripping hungrily, loud moans scratching at the back of her throat. "You look so hot," Iwaizumi breathed through her moaning, her mouth hanging open as she let her eyes and hands devour Oikawa's naked body.

"Mm, tell me." Oikawa smirked through her bit lip, moving her hand in slower circles, watching Iwaizumi's eyes started to roll to the back of her skull from pleasure. "I want to suck hickeys on this," Iwaizumi moaned, the cracking slap of her hand hitting Oikawa's backside cutting through the air, rocking her hips against Oikawa's fingers.

Oikawa enjoyed the roughness, a small gasp coming out of her lips, a light blush rising to her cheeks at how confident Iwaizumi was now. Iwaizumi's other hand squeezed at Oikawa's breasts, throwing her head to the side and moaning loudly, the pleasure making her body shake. "Your tits look so nice when they bounce," Iwaizumi whined shyly, looking up at her through furrowed brows and an open mouth, moans scratching at the back of her throat.

The red colour on her cheeks deepening from how dirty Iwaizumi was, Oikawa looked down at her through wide nervous eyes, rocking her body back and forth to exaggerate the movements of her swinging breasts, supressing a smirk, finding it hot. Iwaizumi's moans got higher and shorter, pulling a hand back to smack Oikawa again on her backside harshly, her other hand running across her hard nipples and pulling at the flesh on her breasts.

"Fuck, you feel so good." Iwaizumi whimpered through her moans, feeling herself near orgasm, the overwhelming sensation dominating her entire being. She continued to grope and pull at Oikawa's body on top of her, the fingers getting faster against her clitoris, feeling her face flushed from the heat of the shower. She finished with a loud moan, her fingers tightening around Oikawa's flesh, the sound echoing off the bathroom tiles.

Oikawa looked at her for a second in disbelief at her dirty comment, still not processing that Iwaizumi had that sinfulness living within her. Iwaizumi felt the stare and tried to calm her heart rate down, pushing herself up off the floor with shaky legs and turning off the shower, turning her red face away. "You surprise me, Iwa-chan." Oikawa smirked through a short laugh, pushing herself up with shaky legs and following her out of the shower cubicle. 

"Did I hurt you, or make you uncomfortable? I'm sorry," Iwaizumi apologised nervously with a worried look, averting her eyes to the bathroom floor, reaching for a towel. Oikawa let out an amused laugh and shook her head, replying, "You don't need to apologise, Iwa. If I wasn't comfortable with it, I would have said something. I just wasn't expecting it." 

Iwaizumi ran the towel over her face to hide the blush, scrunching the fabric repeatedly around chunks of her black hair, watching an amused smirk linger on Oikawa's face. "I'm going to go and order the pizza," Iwaizumi breathed, wanting to change the topic from her sexual fetishes. Oikawa watched her leave with a lovesick grin, one of her hands going up gently to the skin on the back of her thighs, her fingers tracing over the red skin that would be bruised later.

A content sigh spiralling out of her lips, Oikawa smiled to herself at how good that felt, her mind reliving the sensation of Iwaizumi's hands on her. She pushed her wobbling legs towards the door, softly stepping down the hallway in the direction of her fresh clothes, grabbing a towel to dry off on the way.

Iwaizumi let Oikawa borrow a pair of pyjamas, grinning widely at the sight of her in them, Oikawa holding the shirt fabric up to her nose to inhale the smell of Iwaizumi. They sat in the living room again, their hair wet and in curly strands down their torsos, contentment and bliss bathing their bodies as they embraced on the sofa.

The pizza arrived quickly, the two girls hungrily devouring it, Oikawa giggling at Iwaizumi when she noticed the pizza sauce had come off on the tip of Iwaizumi's nose. Iwaizumi rubbed it off with a short smile, swallowing her food and looking down at the pizza, her heart exploding with feelings for Oikawa and her cute laugh.

For the remainder of the evening, Iwaizumi's cats joined them, Oikawa taking both of them into her arms and snuggling them. Iwaizumi asked if it was okay if she took a photo, to which Oikawa nodded through a laugh, smiling with brilliant white teeth, holding the grey fluffy cats beside her face. 

Iwaizumi took a lot of pictures in the end, smiling to herself at how adorable each one was, knowing that it was going to become her lock-screen at some point in the near future. She rubbed the pizza sauce from the sides of her mouth and glanced up at Oikawa from her phone, watching her as she cooed and spoke to the cats in a baby voice, tickling their fluffy tummies. Resting her face against her palm, Iwaizumi felt her lips curl further up her cheeks, wanting to watch the scene with adoring eyes for eternity, a warm feeling creeping through her chest.


	5. chapter four

A loud yawn escaped Oikawa, rubbing at her eyes and stretching her arms out, the morning light bleeding across her bedroom through the gaps in her curtains. She turned her head towards Iwaizumi, who was still asleep, a gentle expression on her face as she softly sighed, hopefully dreaming about something pleasant. 

Oikawa felt a smile curl at her lips at the sight, laying her head back down on the pillow that she had slept on next to Iwaizumi, moving her face closer to Iwaizumi's. She pulled the duvet up to her chin and let her gaze take in the heavenly sight, her eyes staying glued to Iwaizumi's features, the marigold light illuminating the sharp features and giving her skin an angelic shimmer.

Iwaizumi's eyelids stirred, slowly opening her blinking eyes and watching as more and more of Oikawa's face came into view like a polaroid developing. "Morning," She smiled with a raspy tone, rubbing a hand over her face and pushing her head further into the pillow. Oikawa smiled widely back, wrapping her hands around Iwaizumi, nuzzling her face into the warm body.

"Morning, sexy." Oikawa grinned, muffled by the chest, feeling Iwaizumi's arms wrap around her in a tight embrace. Iwaizumi inhaled the familiar scent of Oikawa and sighed against her hair, the strawberry and vanilla weaving up her nostrils and intertwining with her heart. She moved her lower half against Oikawa's bare legs, their inner thighs sliding against each other.

Oikawa moved her face away from the chest, pushing the brown bedhead hair out of her own eyes, looking up at Iwaizumi with a short smile. "I think we should dress up really pretty and go out on a date today," She whispered, one of her hands going up to caress the side of Iwaizumi's soft cheek, her fingertips swirling in small circles.

"I think we should too," Iwaizumi replied in the same whisper, a smile painted on her lips, feeling her heart race as Oikawa looked at her with those brown eyes. Oikawa felt her grin widen, leaning forward and connecting their lips, the familiar taste of citrus and rosemary flooding into Oikawa's taste buds from Iwaizumi's mouth.

Iwaizumi moved her lips against the full lips, pushing open her mouth and sliding her tongue against the inside of Oikawa's cheek. Oikawa hovered on top of her, feeling Iwaizumi's desperate hands wander up her pyjama-clad body, smirking against her sighing mouth. The two had crossed the invisible line and started their sexual relationship over a week ago, but now that they had started, it was impossible to keep their hands off of each other.

Oikawa always had a free house, and so every day after school, before school, any time of the day, they were touching each other. Iwaizumi was in a much better mood than she had been before, a dazed smile permanently on her features when she would sit in school or occasionally sit at the dinner table with her mother and brother, although she usually ate with Oikawa.

Iwaizumi's mother asked her why she looked so happy all the time, and why she was never at the house, and Iwaizumi would reply that she just had a lot of friends at school now and they drank a lot. She thought it was better for her mother to think that she was an alcoholic than her being in a relationship with Oikawa, who her mother despised. She wasn't sure how her mother would take the whole lesbian thing either, so she was adamant that she wouldn't tell her yet.

Oikawa felt like she was floating on a cloud all of the time, the multiple orgasms that Iwaizumi gave her every time they were alone destroying any anxiety or negative feelings that used to thunder against her brain. In school, she would ignore all of the boys who flirted with her, her eyes staying glued to Iwaizumi as they laughed and spoke, her brown eyes wide with affection and sparkling with adoration as they stayed fixed on Iwaizumi.

All of her worries about Iwaizumi growing bored of her sexually were shattered, Oikawa knowing that their arousal for each other wasn't slowing down even slightly every time they touched each other. If anything, every sexual interaction was more mind-blowing than the last. The years of pent-up desire and lust were finally let loose, and it felt amazing for both of them.

Iwaizumi fell against the bed breathless, wiping her sticky fingers against the sheets, feeling her orgasm fuzz her mind beautifully. Oikawa kept her legs spread open for a moment, a satisfied smile on her lips, glad that her and Iwaizumi had recently tried tribbing. She was embarrassed when she suggested scissoring and Iwaizumi laughed at her, telling her that was just a patriarchist myth that men had created for the male gaze in the porn industry.

Oikawa had pouted and said she didn't know that, Iwaizumi saying it was okay through an amused grin, informing her about how it might feel nice if Oikawa was on her back and she rubbed their genitals together from on top, with Iwaizumi in the middle of Oikawa's spread legs, or if Oikawa wanted to go on top that would work too. It felt intimate when they would have sex in that position, as they were both being stimulated at the same time, and they both found it arousing. 

Iwaizumi watched as Oikawa let her legs drop lamely to the bed, wiping at the substances around her face, a content sigh stretching up her throat and releasing into the warm air. "We're going to have to go on a mid-afternoon date instead of a morning one now," Oikawa teased through a wide smile, looking at the digital clock on her bedside table and seeing that over an hour had passed since they woke up.

"I have an idea for a date," Iwaizumi breathed through grinning teeth, turning her head to the side to look at Oikawa. "I think we should bake a cake and then go to a park and eat the entire thing," She continued, interlacing her sweaty hand with Oikawa's, her thumb caressing at the skin on the back of Oikawa's hand.

Oikawa felt her smile curl further up her cheeks at the suggestion, feeling her heart flutter at the wholesome idea. "If we're baking a cake then we should bring other picnic foods, and put on nice clothes." She replied giddily, squeezing back Iwaizumi's hand, her other hand going up and twirling a piece of Iwaizumi's black hair affectionately.

"That sounds perfect," Iwaizumi grinned with a happy light laugh, kissing Oikawa on the cheek before leaping off of the bed. "We should get up before we start again," She continued through a smile, reaching for her underwear and pyjama shirt. Oikawa watched her with a lovesick grin, her eyes falling over the shapes and curves which she adored so much on Iwaizumi's body.

Stretching her body out again, Oikawa put on a shirt and followed her to the kitchen, hearing Milk's claws repeatedly tap against the hardwood floor as he sauntered behind her. Iwaizumi was bent over the oven, trying to figure out how to turn on the main one, Oikawa watching her with an amused smile from the kitchen island, her chin in her palms.

The actual baking of the cake was simple, although it became clear quickly that Oikawa had never baked before in her entire life, as she was an only child and she would buy cakes from shops ready to eat. Iwaizumi looked at her with teasing eyes as Oikawa cautiously stirred the bowl in vertical broken motions with the wooden spoon, her upper lip curled up in confusion at why nothing was happening from her weak stirring.

Iwaizumi slid behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist and taking hold of her hands over the spoon, pressing the front of her body to the back of Oikawa's. Oikawa felt a short smile creep onto her face, turning her head to the side to look at Iwaizumi, who smiled back at her, using Oikawa's hands as a puppet as she stirred the bowl in large circles, making sure to reach every corner of the bowl.

"If you were born a hundred years before now, you would be beaten by your husband every night for your terrible cooking." Iwaizumi sighed, resting her chin on Oikawa's shoulder, looking down at the bowl with the same teasing smile, stirring through Oikawa's hands. "That's so mean, Iwa-chan. If we're going down that dark path then we would both be dead for homosexual intimacy." She replied through a laugh, keeping her face turned to look at Iwaizumi, who smiled widely and said she probably shouldn't have used that analogy.

Oikawa let her pinkie finger escape from Iwaizumi's grasp and rubbed it against Iwaizumi's hand affectionately, feeling her heart skip at Iwaizumi's laugh as she rambled on about how she should have never brought up how minorities were treated in the past. The cake mixture went into the oven, Oikawa pushing the round tin onto the oven shelf with her fingertips, concentrating on not dropping it.

The two of them got ready while it was cooking, the aroma of the fluffy cake filling the house and making them hungry. Oikawa changed into a long-sleeved pale yellow dress that reached the middle of her thighs, tight at the top but flowy as it reached her waist, the fabric speckled with dainty strawberries. She wore her usual full face on makeup, with a light yellow eyeshadow topping her black eyeliner, two white hairclips attached to the side of her brown hair. 

Iwaizumi changed into a long-sleeved black dress that reached her upper thighs, tight at the top but flowy as it reached her waist, the fabric at her chest lined with lace. She filled in her thick brows and applied a small amount of makeup elsewhere, putting in some sparkly earrings and some glitter on the peak of her collarbones.

"You are so pretty," Oikawa awed at her appearance, watching her apply the glitter with a dreamy stare, already finished with her makeup and clothes. Iwaizumi grinned widely at the compliment, turning to look at her and replying, "You are so beautiful. Very beautiful." She wrapped an arm around Oikawa's small waist, both of their hearts fluttering at the exchanged compliments, grinning at each other with complete devotion in their eyes.

The cooker beeping made Iwaizumi retract her touch, skipping over to the kitchen to check on the cake. Oikawa didn't let the smile falter from her face as Iwaizumi left, feeling lucky for how happy she felt when Iwaizumi was around. It made her want to cry from how much emotion she felt.

They packed the cake and other foods into a large bag, saying goodbye to Milk and starting to walk in the direction of the park. Iwaizumi felt the urge to hold Oikawa's hand as they walked, but she got too nervous about the public gesture, and so kept both of her hands on the bag, the thought of holding hands in public still making her heart race. 

Iwaizumi bit the inside of her cheek as she gazed over the natural light hitting Oikawa's features, the sunlight giving her hair a golden shimmer, her eyes pools of honey. "Do you want to sit here?" Oikawa asked her after they approached a spot on the grass under a tree, stripes of light weaving through the leaves above their head and transcribing onto the grass.

Agreeing through a toothy smile, Iwaizumi took the picnic blanket out of the bag, Oikawa watching her lay it down flat on the freshly cut grass. "I'm so hungry," Oikawa said as she crawled onto the blanket, rubbing at her aching stomach. "We didn't have time for breakfast," Iwaizumi replied with a small knowing smirk, keeping her eyes down on the bag as she started to pull out the various foods.

"Eating pussy for breakfast has its nutritional values too," Oikawa laughed, Iwaizumi blushing at how loud she said it, shaking her head in disapproval. She leaned forward and pulled a grape from its stem, popping it in her mouth and chewing obnoxiously loudly, Iwaizumi not bothered by her bad eating habits.

Iwaizumi took a grape also, humming at the nice taste, looking around at the scenery around her. There were a lot of people at the park that day, as it was pretty hot, the sounds of children playing and birds chirping filling the warm air. "Can we cut the cake now?" Oikawa asked impatiently, her eyes hungrily glancing down at the cake which they had lovingly made and decorated.

"You act like it isn't equally your cake too," Iwaizumi told her, absentmindedly dancing her feet from side to side on the picnic blanket. Oikawa smiled widely at the comment, replying, "Well I know that. I just thought we were eating it at the same time, as we made it together." The cake was chocolate flavoured, with lemon frosting and sprinkles.

Iwaizumi laughed lightly and shook her head, finding her comment adorable, as well as the smile that graced her cute face. "Cut me a slice, then." She breathed with false exasperation, turning her chin up and trying to look annoyed. Oikawa grinned and took the knife out of the bag, hurriedly going to cut two slices from the tasty-looking cake.

Handing Iwaizumi the bigger piece, Oikawa licked the frosting off her thumb, hungrily moving the cake into her mouth and chewing, aware that the frosting was stuck to her upper lip as she did so. "Oh my god. I am amazing at baking." Oikawa moaned at the amazing taste, shutting her eyes and savouring the food, dancing her torso back and forth from happiness.

Iwaizumi giggled at her reaction, stuffing the cake into her own mouth, agreeing that it tasted good after chewing slowly and letting the flavour sink into her taste buds. They ate the cake silently, their mouths too full to speak, both occasionally making hums that told the other they were enjoying it.

"There is a zero percent chance that any of that cake will be left by the time we go back to my house," Oikawa said as she dug her tongue at the cake stuck to her teeth, Iwaizumi agreeing with a wide smile, her words jumbled up slightly as she was still eating her slice. When she finished eating she noticed that Oikawa had frosting all around her mouth, Oikawa oblivious as she continued stuffing grapes into her mouth.

Iwaizumi leaned towards her and used her thumb to clean off the side of her mouth, Oikawa feeling her heart race at the affectionate touch, feeling the bridge of her nose go pink as she looked up at Iwaizumi with a short smile. Keeping her eyes glued on Oikawa's messy mouth, Iwaizumi felt the stare and nervously smiled back, making sure to rub off every smidge of frosting.

Oikawa glanced past Iwaizumi's head as she heard footsteps on the grass, her eyes trailing up the body until they fell on the familiar face, feeling her stomach drop. "Iwa-chan," Oikawa whispered nervously as she tore her eyes away, looking back at Iwaizumi, trying to hide her face in Iwaizumi's neck.

Iwaizumi twisted her head towards the direction where Oikawa had been looking, quickly understanding why Oikawa had gotten so scared. Standing there was Michimiya, and four of his male friends, all of them standing tall with intimidating looks on their faces. Iwaizumi turned her head forward to Oikawa, meeting her fearful eyes, both of their minds reliving the last time that they had seen Michimiya, when Oikawa had punched him across the face for being homophobic.

"Hey, Oikawa. Why do you never respond to my texts now?" Michimiya greeted them with a cheery grin, standing close to them, towering over them as they sat. Iwaizumi nervously scratched at her neck, making sure that she stayed close to Oikawa, her pinkie finger sitting on top of Oikawa's pinkie finger, feeling her heart race at the scary masculine presence.

Oikawa swallowed the dryness in her throat, replying after a short silence, "I thought everyone knew. I'm dating Iwa." She gestured to Iwaizumi, who embarrassedly smiled and waved as if it was the first time they had met. "We're on a date," Oikawa continued, gesturing to the picnic blanket and food that was neatly spread out in front of them.

"But, that's your friend. I'm saying I want to fuck you." Michimiya said in an obvious tone, pointing at himself as if that would get his point across. Oikawa let out a sarcastic laugh, cursing herself at how a red colour crept onto her cheeks, feeling nervous at the situation. "Iwa and I fuck, and I don't want to fuck anyone else. Please leave."

Michimiya raised his eyebrows and laughed, Iwaizumi feeling her heartbeat get so intense it started to pain her, praying that he would leave without saying anything else. "I mean, she's kind of hot too. I wouldn't mind fucking you both at the same time." Michimiya's eyes raked over to Iwaizumi, staring down at her chest that was pushed up by her dress, Iwaizumi quickly pulling the fabric up with a dark red colour on her face, putting her hand over her cleavage.

Oikawa felt her blood boil as well as the overwhelming urge to cry at how terrible she felt at how they were being treated. She shot a remorseful glance over to Iwaizumi, wanting to cry at the way Iwaizumi looked at the floor with tears in her eyes, her body curling in on itself to stop the glances at her short dress. A silence filled the air like cyanide, the words cutting deeper with each second that passed.

"Hey! What the hell are you saying to them?!" Oikawa whipped her head at the angry female voice, her eyes falling on Kenma, who was running over with a look of rage. Kenma was followed by Kuroo and Hinata, who looked distressed as their eyes flickered over the group of boys and the uncomfortable expression that was painted on the two girls' faces.

Iwaizumi looked up at the familiar voice, feeling relief wash over her as she watched Kenma race towards them. "What's wrong?" Kenma asked as she reached them, looking between them all, seeing the tears in Iwaizumi's eyes. Oikawa felt more brave now that the girls weren't outnumbered, speaking up, "He won't leave me and Iwa alone. He made her uncomfortable."

Kenma turned to Michimiya with raised eyebrows and an angry mouth, the guy towering over her in height, who looked slightly nervous now that he had been called out. "I was only joking around with them. I find it hot that Oikawa is going through this phase with that girl and her massive tits."

Iwaizumi felt her face redden further, turning her body away from the group of people and burying her face in her hands, not caring about the makeup, knowing that she was on the verge of tears, the words choking her aggressively. Oikawa looked at Michimiya in shock, not knowing what to even say to that, a heaviness creeping into her chest.

"You're fucking vile," Kenma seethed her words towards Michimiya, screwing her face up in disgust. Kuroo and Hinata reached her side, reading the negative mood, Hinata quickly rushing over to Iwaizumi's side and whispering softly if she was okay. Iwaizumi shook her head and started to cry silently into her hands, feeling Hinata's arm on her back.

Kuroo narrowed her eyes at Michimiya, walking closer, towering over him in height, as she was the tallest girl in her friend group, standing at 6'4. "If you don't want to get your ass beat by me and my girlfriend then you better make a break for it." Kuroo directed her malicious words down at the boy, glad to see that his lip trembled slightly at how tall she was.

Kenma chimed in, "I may be shorter but I'm surprisingly strong," as she plastered herself to Kuroo's side, her venomous glance directed towards Michimiya. Hearing himself inhale, Michimiya tore his eyes away from the tall girl, feeling slightly embarrassed at the fact that he had been confronted.

"Fine, we're going. See you at school, Oikawa." Michimiya spluttered out, turning his body around and gesturing for his friends to follow him, scoffing as if the whole situation was ridiculous. Oikawa finally felt her body slump and relax, her eyes flickering to Iwaizumi, leaping over to her and wrapping both arms around the crying figure.

Iwaizumi hugged her back, burying her face in Oikawa's neck and letting out small cries, not feeling as tense or upset as she had when Michimiya was still standing there. "Thank you for coming over," Oikawa said quietly to Kenma, who had sat on the picnic blanket, a worried look on her face as she saw Iwaizumi.

"Of course, you don't have to thank me. I hate guys like that. I just feel bad that we couldn't make him leave before he upset you and Iwaizumi." Kenma replied, her usual quiet calm tone back, tucking a blonde lock of hair behind her ear that had fallen into her face. Iwaizumi felt embarrassed that they were all looking at her crying, but the horrible feeling from Michimiya crawled underneath her skin and she couldn't help it at how much it made her sob.

Kuroo chirped up, "Can I have a slice of cake? It looks delicious." Kenma shoved her and told her to be more thoughtful, the interaction making Iwaizumi laugh lightly, her laugh distorted by the tears. "Please have some of the cake. I'm fine, really. I started crying because I was shocked, but let's just talk about something else." Iwaizumi said through a croak, rubbing the dampness from underneath her eyes hurriedly.

"If you want to talk about something different, how about the fact that Kenma and Kuroo are now smushing?" Hinata changed the subject with a positive grin, pointing both fingers at Kuroo and Kenma and making childish excited sounds. Oikawa turned to look at them and asked if it was true with a smile, knowing that Iwaizumi wanted to calm down without the eyes on her, her grip still tight on Iwaizumi's torso.

Kenma felt colour flood to her cheeks, taking a piece of hair and covering half of her face with it, the subject always making her nervous. "We are indeed smushing, as Hinata put it so nicely. I was just scared when Kuroo told me at first, but I've always felt the same." Kenma said quietly, her words trailing off until they were barely audible, feeling embarrassed at how open she was being.

Kuroo grinned widely, her stomach fluttering at the words, reaching over and taking a slice of cake. "I mean, who could resist my sexy body?" She teased with a laugh, shoving the entire slice of cake into her mouth and chewing it, tilting her head back to stop crumbs from escaping her full mouth.

Iwaizumi listened to the conversation from Oikawa's neck, her fingers sinking deep into the dress on Oikawa's back, feeling the warmth radiate onto her, feeling safe in her arms. She wanted to talk, but she was worried that she might cry again, and so sat and listened, feeling the vibration of Oikawa's words go through her.

"I have something I want to give you," Oikawa whispered to Iwaizumi through a nervous smile, planning on giving it to Iwaizumi later when they were alone, but knowing that now was probably a good time, as it might make her forget Michimiya. Iwaizumi sniffled and felt her heart skip at the words, feeling a smile creep onto her features, asking her quietly what it was.

Oikawa felt her heart hammer against her ribcage, feeling worry flood over her that Iwaizumi might not like it, and it was always nerve-wracking showing people your art. She whispered, "I drew you." Iwaizumi felt her breath get caught in her throat, her eyes going wide from surprise, feeling overwhelmed with the gesture.

Reaching around in her bag, Oikawa pulled out a piece of paper, making sure that the other three girls couldn't see it, handing it to Iwaizumi with shaking hands. "Y-You probably won't like it, I'm not very good." Oikawa murmured shyly, hiding her face in Iwaizumi's shoulder, her cheeks turning pink.

Iwaizumi took the paper into her fingers with a smile, gasping softly as her eyes fell down on the drawing. It was incredibly realistic, and Iwaizumi knew exactly which photo Oikawa had used for reference, the black and white portrait drawn beautifully. "Do you really think I look this pretty?" Iwaizumi breathed as she stared down at it in wonder, feeling like Oikawa had exaggerated some of her features to make her more attractive, even though that wasn't true. 

"Do you like it?" Oikawa asked shyly, still covering half of her face with Iwaizumi's dress, flickering her eyes down to the paper and then up at Iwaizumi's face. Iwaizumi was speechless for a moment at how beautiful it was, her eyes taking in every tiny detail over and over. "I love it, thank you so much. You're so talented."

Oikawa felt the edges of her lips tug upwards, her stomach fluttering from the sincere compliment, feeling proud to have given Iwaizumi that smile. She let out a pleased laugh and squeezed Iwaizumi tighter, wanting to remember the angelic expression on Iwaizumi's features for eternity. 

"Oh, God. I just remembered the last time I saw you." Iwaizumi suddenly turned to Hinata, continuing, "I'm so sorry for being so disgusting." Hinata let out a loud giggle, shaking her head and saying it was fine, and the situation was completely different so it didn't make her uncomfortable.

Kenma said, "You will never match how disgusting Kageyama was at that one party, do you remember, Hinata? She got super drunk and purposefully spilled an entire bottle of alcohol over you in the hopes that you would take off the wet shirt." Kuroo cackled at the memory, wiping her eyes and saying that was a legendary move on her part.

"You disapprove of everything Kageyama does. You're mean." Hinata huffed, leaning forward and taking a slice of buttered bread. Kenma bit her tongue as she was about to argue about how Hinata could do better, knowing that it would upset her, instead chewing slowly on a grape. Iwaizumi smiled widely at the normal conversation, laughing as Kenma rambled on about how adamant Kageyama was that night that Hinata should take off the damp shirt.

Oikawa felt glad that the other girls had joined them, as their large personalities were relieving Iwaizumi of her sadness, a large smile on her face as she heard Iwaizumi's laughter. She kept her arm around Iwaizumi, resting her head against Iwaizumi's shoulder, occasionally chiming in to the conversation with catty remarks, her mind staying fixed on what she would say if Iwaizumi got upset again.

A short gasp left Oikawa's mouth as she looked down at the crumbs on the cake plate, looking up at Kuroo and speaking, "Iwa made that cake and you fucking ate the whole thing, you fat bitch. She only got to have one piece." Kuroo choked a laugh and scoffed, licking around her lips and shrugging her shoulders.

"I really don't mind," Iwaizumi piped up with a light laugh, after squeezing Oikawa's flesh to tell her to stop being mean, pushing a tub of food towards Kuroo for her to eat more. Oikawa's drawing stayed clamped in her hand, her eyes falling back down to it and a warm feeling radiating off of the page. She still felt that Oikawa had drawn her to be more beautiful than she was, biting the inside of her cheek at how thoughtful the present was.

Iwaizumi moved her free hand down to affectionately rub at Oikawa's bare leg, the same wide smile gracing her face, her feelings for the brown-haired girl thriving through her beating heart. She listened as Oikawa asked if Kuroo and Kenma had slept together yet, Oikawa trying to hide her blush when Iwaizumi touched her leg, the skin where Iwaizumi had touched fluttering. They made eye contact for a short moment before they both looked away with a nervous smile, knowing that as soon as they were alone again they would fall back into their sexual paradise.


	6. chapter five

Iwaizumi slowly opened her eyes groggily, blinking slowly and looking around, remembering that she had promised her mother she would stay at home for one night, taking in her familiar bedroom. She absentmindedly reached around to the other side of the bed, smiling to herself at the force of habit, turning her face to look at the empty spot where Oikawa usually slept.

She sighed tiredly, her fingers caressing against the sheet and the phantom sensation of not having Oikawa next to her, knowing that she would have to tell her mother soon that the two had been dating for a while now. She couldn't stand not sleeping next to Oikawa for even one more night.

Her eyes fell on the drawing taped up on her pale pink wall, her grin growing and a warm feeling creeping across her chest as she gazed upon the portrait that Oikawa had drawn for her a couple of weeks ago. Iwaizumi slid her arm under her pillow to search for her phone, clicking the button on the side and feeling the illumination on her dry eyes, her heart skipping as she saw that she had many unread messages from Oikawa. 

Iwaizumi got dressed for school, deciding on a hoodie and shorts with black tights, her mother giving her a confused glance as she saw that Iwaizumi was leaving twenty minutes early, when she was usually running to school because she woke up late. "I'm meeting Oikawa, and you know she can drive." Iwaizumi told her meekly through a nervous smile, her fingers running through the grey fur on one of her cats' back.

"I'm definitely not complaining, my love. I'm just glad that you're finally taking care of yourself, even if that friend of yours has been completely off the rails since birth." Iwaizumi's mother said with a disapproving tone, Iwaizumi rolling her eyes at how quickly the praise turned into an insult, keeping her eyes down on the soft grey cat.

Iwaizumi replied, "You don't know her like I do, and I think she's great, so, that's all that should matter. See you later." She hurriedly left, not wanting to talk about it any more, hearing her mother's short reply, cut off by Iwaizumi slamming the door. She let out a heavy sigh, closing her eyes for a moment, feeling irritated at her mother's words.

"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa yelled excitedly, dragging out the last syllable for a long note as she waved from the car, Iwaizumi looking up at the noise, a smile quickly dissolving her distressed features, letting out a giggle and leaping towards the car. "I brought wet wipes and mints if you wanted to get freaky before school," Oikawa immediately suggested, after kissing her hello and Iwaizumi clicked her seatbelt in.

Iwaizumi turned to her with a laugh, feeling her heart race as she replied, "Just make sure you park somewhere far away where no one will see us." Oikawa was already pulling out of the parking space with an excited grin, starting to ramble on about how thirty minutes was more than enough time to feel satisfied.

The electric feeling that the two felt when in each other's presence had overwhelmed any other thing in their lives, their heart only growing more fonder with each day that passed. They enjoyed sex, but the core of their insatiability was their closeness. Every thing that had happened before they started seeing each other was insignificant; forgotten. All that mattered was when they were together.

Oikawa let out a sigh as she let her eyes fall on the time inside the rectangular screen on her car, the numbers showing that they would have to start driving to school in the next minute. "Iwa," Oikawa breathed, patting Iwaizumi on the back of her shoulder, as Iwaizumi continued kissing and sucking hickeys on her neck, her hand between Oikawa's thighs under her skirt.

Iwaizumi dramatically groaned and pulled away, wiping the saliva away from her lips, "I don't want to stop." Oikawa grinned widely at the words, still breathless from the interaction, reaching down and pulling her blue underwear back in place so that her genitals were completely covered. "I don't want to either, but we have to if we want to graduate. We have practise after school, which will be fun, and then we can go back to mine and smush."

"That does sound fun," Iwaizumi muttered through a short smile, taking a wet wipe out of the packet and cleaning her hands. Oikawa took a mint and starting sucking on it against the roof of her mouth, asking Iwaizumi if she had any fluids around her face, which made Iwaizumi blush, even though she was the one whose fluids it would be. It made Oikawa smirk how nervous she could make Iwaizumi, but because the nervousness usually went both ways it wasn't that much of a powerful weapon.

The day at school wasn't as bad as Iwaizumi thought it would be, but she was mostly excited to get into her volleyball uniform and practise with her friends. As soon as the bell rang, Iwaizumi rushed out of the classroom, sprinting towards the gymnasium with a grin on her features, the sound of shoes against the squeaky waxen floor flooding her hearing as she opened the door.

Volleyball practise went smoothly, Iwaizumi and Oikawa pairing up with Matsukawa against the rest of the players, all of their spirits high as they played competitively. Iwaizumi had always loved volleyball because it distracted her from everything outside the gym walls in those moments, and it made her feel alive. The sensation of being the ace, and spiking the ball with all of her being, was something that she treasured. Getting praise from Oikawa when she would hit a great shot was a plus too.

Oikawa took a gulp of water from her bottle, skipping over to her phone to check the time, seeing that they had around five minutes left before the coach would come in and they would have to leave the gym. She integrated back into the court, wiping the sweat away from her hairline with her outer forearm, telling everyone else that they would have to wrap up the game sooner than they thought.

The game finished, and Oikawa's three-woman team won, a smug smile on her face as she announced the results. "We'll have our next practise in two days, but I think we're exceeding our goals for the upcoming real match." Oikawa told them all as they formed their usual huddle, watching as they all calmed their breathing down and drank water.

"You all did great," Oikawa complimented them through a toothy grin, all of them grumbling their exhausted thanks, starting to slump towards the changing rooms. Iwaizumi smiled at her wholesome team motivation, meeting Oikawa's eyes, a small giggle coming out of Oikawa's full lips as she closed the distance between them.

Oikawa smiled, "You look so hot sweaty." Iwaizumi giggled back and pushed her away teasingly, retorting that Oikawa smelt terrible, all of the girls already disappeared and changing. "How dare you speak to your captain like that, Iwa-chan. I'll kick you off the team if you don't start respecting me." Oikawa teased through a fake huff, her heart fluttering at Iwaizumi's laughter.

"You may be the captain but I'm the ace, and the vice-captain, and the oldest." Iwaizumi argued, knowing that her words sounded weak in comparison to the top position of captain, pressing her lips together and raising her eyebrows as if she were smug. "Whatever, loser." Oikawa huffed through a smirk, picking up her phone and starting to walk towards the exit.

Iwaizumi followed her with an amused smirk, not knowing what else to say, just wanting to be near her. A ringing cut through the air, Oikawa answering the phone cheerily after she pressed it against her ear. Iwaizumi listened curiously, hearing Bokuto's loud voice through the speakers, who dramatically exclaimed that she needed her bottle opener which Oikawa had stolen at a party.

"Do you need it right now, though? It's so late," Oikawa whined, rolling her eyes to Iwaizumi, who laughed at her irritation, walking side by side with her towards the changing room. "Just go and drop it off for her and I'll meet you back at yours," Iwaizumi told her softly, hearing Bokuto's screeching on the other end of the line.

Oikawa groaned but gave in, "Ugh, fine, you stupid bitch. I'll be right there." She turned to Iwaizumi and apologised for not being able to drive her to the house, as Bokuto would be thirty minutes away, and it would be quicker for Iwaizumi to walk. "It's fine, it's only fifteen minutes by foot. Go, before she calls you again." Iwaizumi replied with a short smile, seeing the irritation laced into Oikawa's features at Bokuto.

"You'll get there before me so just use the key under the plant pot," Oikawa told her in aggravation, kissing her on the cheek and turning away. Iwaizumi smiled to herself and entered the changing rooms, seeing that the girls were almost finished, as they were all tired and wanted to go home.

She walked towards her stuff, greeting Matsukawa who was already dressed and ready to go. "Lose track of time with the captain?" Matsukawa teased with a raised eyebrow, Iwaizumi muttering for her to go to hell with a light blush on the bridge of her nose, making Matsukawa laugh loudly and tell her goodnight, slipping out of the room to go home.

Iwaizumi pushed off her volleyball shoes and shorts, pulling on the normal shorts that she had come to school in, not bothered about the tights as she was going straight to Oikawa's, shoving her dirty clothes into her bag. She looked around and was surprised to see that everyone had left, not really paying enough attention to her surroundings to notice the door repeatedly opening and closing.

She pulled off her shirt, feeling more at ease now that she knew no one was watching, as she had dark hickeys all over her breasts, the black bra tight on her chest. Iwaizumi went to pull on her fresh shirt and hoodie as she heard the door open, twisting her neck in confusion, figuring that one of the girls must have forgotten something.

Feeling an abrupt anxiety punch her in the stomach when she saw a boy standing there, Iwaizumi nervously called out, "Uh, this is the girls' changing room." She covered her chest with her bundled shirt, recognising the boy as someone on the male volleyball team, named Sano. Her eyes widened in surprise as the boy ignored her statement, feeling her throat go dry as he let the door swing shut behind him.

"Your name's Iwaizumi, right?" He asked as he walked closer, Iwaizumi swallowing a lump in her throat and tightening her grip on the shirt that was covering her chest, feeling her heart hammer against her ribcage. "You're in the wrong changing room," Iwaizumi spoke so quietly that her words were barely above a whisper, the footsteps sounding nearer as she looked at the ground.

Sano spoke again, "I know, I came here to see you. I've had a thing for you for a while." He let out a light embarrassed laugh, Iwaizumi feeling fear flood through her, not understanding how someone could think that approaching your crush when they were changing was moral in any way. "I'm flattered, thank you. Can we please talk about it outside, in five minutes?" Iwaizumi responded politely, hoping that her tone didn't expose how scared she was, meeting his eyes.

"I've had my eye on you for a while," Sano continued, ignoring her previous words, his glance raking down Iwaizumi's body. Iwaizumi felt her heartbeat get painfully strong, the anxiety igniting her body on fire, burning through her system with a piercing scream, her mind racing over possible scenarios. "I'll talk to you outside," Iwaizumi repeated in a whisper, swallowing nervously.

Iwaizumi watched as Sano moved his hand up to her white knuckles, his hand slowly brushing away the bundled shirt that Iwaizumi was holding up to protect her chest, her bra and the bruised skin now exposed. "Please don't," Iwaizumi whispered pleadingly, feeling warm tears burn behind her eyes, her body frozen with fear.

"It seems you've put out for someone else, lucky guy. Your tits are big." Sano told her, his hands going up to grab at the flesh, looking down at them with lust. Iwaizumi's eyes widened in shock, her entire body moving by his rough groping, looking down at his hands in stunned fear. She wanted to push him away, punch him, kick him, anything. But she could sense his strength, and she was worried that if she retaliated physically he might wrap his hands around her throat and strangle the life out of her.

Iwaizumi stood there with wide teary eyes, praying that he was going to stop soon. Her heartbeat drummed quickly against her ears, her breathing getting heavier as the fear increased, squeezing her hands into fists by her sides. Sano swallowed a lump and sank his teeth into his bottom lip, breathing, "I think you should lay on the floor."

Her breath catching in her throat, Iwaizumi fought back a choking sob, shaking her head profusely, all words lost from her. Sano sighed and stroked her hair away from her face, Iwaizumi feeling her panic settle from his touch and apathy. "I think you should lay on the floor," He repeated in the same tone, although Iwaizumi knew that it was a threat, gritting her teeth together and sinking down to the floor.

Iwaizumi felt her body tremble and the cold floor on the back of her body, the edges of her lips curled down as she struggled to keep composure. Sano grinned at her frightened subservience, joining her down on the ground, his fingers wrapping around the hem of her shorts and yanking them down, her underwear coming down too.

Meeting with the air on her exposed body, Iwaizumi felt her face scrunch up as quiet cries spiralled out of her throat, her cheeks dampening as hot tears rolled down them. "Don't," Iwaizumi begged hopelessly, her voice barely a squeak, her limbs frozen to the ground as if she were a corpse.

Sano pried her legs apart and hovered on top of her with a sexual smirk, his hand caressing at the side of her face with his coarse fingers. "You don't need to be afraid, it's okay. We're going to have fun." Iwaizumi pressed her lips together and kept her eyes on the ceiling, too scared to look into his eyes, meekly shaking her head from side to side and feeling her heartbeat crash against her ribcage.

Iwaizumi's arms lay lame at her sides, her fingers bundled into tight fists, her entire body tense and fearing what she knew was coming. She let out a scared gasp as she heard an unzipping, her wide eyes going down to her naked lower half, smacking a hand over her mouth in fear as she saw his erection, the situation becoming more real for her.

"Please don't do this," Iwaizumi got hysterical quickly, her words a loud gasp that melted into a sob, moving a hand up and trying to push him off of her. Sano moved a hand to her wrist and tightly grasped onto it, his whisperings about how it was going to feel good continuing to tumble out of his lips aimlessly, Iwaizumi writhing under his grasp.

A loud cry of pain escaped her as she felt Sano enter her quickly, her hand going back up to cover her mouth, all strength instantly drained from her body. She let her body go limp like a hunk of meat, her wide teary eyes fixed on the ceiling, her hand over her mouth silencing her sobs.

Iwaizumi gasped with each rough motion, the pain from her vagina trying to reject the unwanted entrance coursing through her veins, her eyes glassing over and turning a dull grey as her soul left her body, dissociating from the terrible experience. Her legs lamely swung with each thrust, feeling nauseous from his vile touch, his head buried in her neck, not caring enough to look her in the face.

It felt like it went on for years. The gasps that escaped her that coincided with his grunts, the rough motions that moved her body with each thrust, the overwhelming pain from how harsh he was being mixed with her body pushing back against the invasion, the tears that tumbled down her cheeks and slid down her neck as she stared up at the ceiling, the slow blinking of disbelief as Iwaizumi laid there, wishing that she were dead.

She screwed her eyes shut and pressed her hand down with more force against her mouth as he quickened his pace, choking back the loud sobs, glad when she knew that he was probably about to finish. Iwaizumi leaned away from his hands as they tried to touch her face, turning her head to the side in disgust, feeling his hot breath against her damp cheek.

The finishing groan echoed off the changing room walls, Iwaizumi cringing as she felt the warm liquid deep inside of her, her vision blurry with tears, wishing that she were dead. Sano pulled himself out with a sigh, quickly stuffing his genitals back into his trousers and pulling up the zip. "I told you it would be fun. See you." He said through a breath, pushing his sweaty hair back into his scalp, turning around and walking towards the exit.

Iwaizumi stared at the closed door in a stunned silence, wishing that she were dead, her body remaining in an inert corpse position. She felt as though she had held her breath for a thousand years, certain that as soon as she allowed herself to exhale her body would fall down into a pile of dust. She pulled her shorts and underwear back up with numb hands, pulling on her shirt and hoodie also, the clothes feeling thin as paper. She blinked slowly, looking around her, her body sore, trying to process if what had happened had actually happened.

Her body falling back against the cold floor, Iwaizumi exhaled deeply, her teary eyes flickering up until they landed on the same spot on the ceiling which she had transfixed on before, her eyes widening as her lips parted and she breathed and stared. All that she could do was breathe, and stare. Breathe. Stare. Breathe. Stare.

Iwaizumi didn't realise that time was slipping by, over an hour passing as if it were a second, not remembering how to move. A loud ringing snapped her out of the stare, jumping at the sound, her mind slow connecting that it was her phone, numbly reaching around for it in her hoodie pocket and holding it up to her ear.

"Hey, baby. That stupid bitch Bokuto wouldn't leave me alone, which is why I took so long. Did you go home for something?" Oikawa's cheery voice travelled through the phone speakers, Iwaizumi hearing her chewing crisps on the other end of the line, Iwaizumi's heavy breathing continuing as she heard the familiar voice.

There was silence for a moment, Oikawa furrowing her brows in confusion, waiting for another moment before asking, "Iwa-chan? Are you there?" Iwaizumi abruptly let her eyelids fall over her eyes, the nickname bringing her back to reality, feeling the large sob deep in her chest before it choked up through her throat.

"Oikawa, I need you to come pick me up." Iwaizumi cried through loud sobs, putting her free hand over her face, her other hand tight around the phone, her knuckles white. "Iwa, are you okay? Tell me where you are." Oikawa hurriedly replied through a panicked tone, starting to run down her stairs and grabbing her car keys.

Iwaizumi tried to calm herself down so that she could talk, heaving sobs near to the point of hyperventilation. "I'm still at school," Iwaizumi sobbed, Oikawa already in her car, barefoot and in her pyjamas. "I'll be there in two minutes, don't hang up the phone. What happened?" Oikawa worriedly asked, slamming her foot down and speeding as fast as she could in Iwaizumi's direction, her phone held between her shoulder and the side of her face.

"I can't — I can't say it over the phone," Iwaizumi cried, her words staggered and short, feeling shameful at the word, not sure how she would ever be able to name what had happened to her. She felt as if Sano's touch was underneath her skin, and no matter how much she tried to forget it, his scent remained.

Oikawa swallowed nervously as she approached the school, glad that she hadn't been stopped for speeding, the sound of Iwaizumi's sobs deeply distressing her, whispering for Iwaizumi to stay on the phone. She didn't bother to park, slowing down and throwing the door open, her bare feet touching the cold ground as she sprinted in the direction of the changing rooms.

"I'm coming now, stay right there." Oikawa said, hanging up so that she didn't have to worry about dropping her phone, running at full speed, her heart racing as her mind tripped over possible situations that could make Iwaizumi this upset. She used both hands to push open the changing rooms door, her eyes scanning the room.

Oikawa's eyes fell on Iwaizumi, who was curled up in the corner sobbing, hugging her body as if her life depended on it. She looked up as she heard the door open, relief washing over her as she saw Oikawa, a worry laced into her features. "Iwa," Oikawa whispered sadly, rushing over, fighting the urge to cry when she looked at how distraught Iwaizumi was.

Iwaizumi kept her arms wrapped around herself tightly, her steely grip not loosening even slightly, feeling unsafe. She cried loudly, screwing her eyes shut, rocking herself back and forth as if she were trying to soothe an infant. Oikawa looked at her with distress, putting a hand on her arm, whispering what the matter was.

"Oh god," Iwaizumi whispered to herself through the sobs, her voice strained, her despair leaking out through her tears. Oikawa stayed silent and tried to be there for her, her own eyes wide with distress as she watched the person she loved most writhe with agony. Iwaizumi inhaled deeply and tried to stop her trembling lower lip, sitting up properly and gripping onto Oikawa.

Iwaizumi sniffled and fought back the sobs, lifting her head and looking up at her through red glassy eyes as she spoke shakily, "Someone raped me." As soon as she said the scary word the sobs burst out and she started crying again, hanging her head low and hearing the wails escape her lips. Oikawa felt her heart pang at what Iwaizumi had said, tears flashing behind her eyes, her mouth hanging open in shock, a horrible feeling creeping over her body.

Oikawa hugged the limp sobbing figure against her tighter, looking down at Iwaizumi in horror as she tried to think of something to say to console her, not even able to imagine the amount of pain she must be in right now. "I'm so sorry," Oikawa whispered against her hair, rubbing a hand up and down her back, holding back the tears and trying to be strong for Iwaizumi. "You're safe now," Oikawa continued in a whisper, hearing her voice crack.

Iwaizumi clung onto her and dampened her shirt, the loud sobs racking her body and shaking her, not knowing how she would ever stop crying. Her throat hurt from the sobbing, her eyes sore and red from tears, the rest of her body not feeling like her own. It had been violated and it didn't belong to her anymore. She felt like she wanted to purge her body; it was filthy.

"It was so awful," Iwaizumi cried through her sobs, her fingers tightening around the fabric on Oikawa's back, her words strained and high. Oikawa hid her face in Iwaizumi's black hair to stop Iwaizumi from seeing the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks, keeping one hand around Iwaizumi's back and the other hand starting to stroke Iwaizumi's hair soothingly.

Oikawa knew that she couldn't do anything to relieve Iwaizumi of the agony that she was in, and it made her upset, feeling the sorrow radiate off of Iwaizumi's sobbing body. She tore her face away from the neck, her eyes widening as they fell down on Iwaizumi's bare legs, a patch of skin below the hem of the shorts stained with blood.

"Iwa," Oikawa started to panic, feeling her heart hammer against her temples, asking her to turn over so that she could look. Iwaizumi sniffled and turned onto her back with a grimace, spreading her legs and pulling up the shorts until most of her legs were exposed. Oikawa stared in shock, seeing her upper thighs stained with blood, the red sheen spread like a virus across her soft skin.

Oikawa could feel her promise to composure crumble, slapping a hand over her mouth and crying silently into her hand, feeling hot tears wash over her fingers. "Iwa, should I drive you to the hospital?" She whispered in a panicked tone, Iwaizumi covering her face with both hands and crying loudly into them, closing her legs and turning her body over, writhing into the floor through her sobbing.

"No, I — I can't. I don't want to explain to a random nurse what happened," Iwaizumi stammered through the tears, not wanting Oikawa to look at her like this any longer. "Is it okay if I look for you? To make sure that it isn't too bad?" Oikawa asked softly, putting a hand on Iwaizumi's arm, her sniffling mixing with the sobs that echoed off the changing room walls.

Iwaizumi wiped the moisture away from her eyes, turning to look at Oikawa, nodding meekly, as it hurt a lot and she might have an open wound. "Are you okay to stand? We should go to the bathroom," Oikawa continued, inhaling through staggered sighs, her heart hurting from the situation. Iwaizumi nodded and pushed herself up, Oikawa supporting Iwaizumi's body weight against her.

Not wanting to make Oikawa worry more than she already had, Iwaizumi held her breath, not allowing the cries of pain to escape her, biting the inside of her cheek and forcing her alienated legs to walk. They reached the bathroom slowly, Oikawa making sure that her grip around Iwaizumi wasn't too tight but supported her from falling, her eyes repeatedly flickering to Iwaizumi's face to check if she was okay, or as okay as she could be.

She rushed over to the sink and started to run cold water, holding scrunched up toilet paper underneath the stream, her eyes staying glued to Iwaizumi, who stood in the centre of the bathroom with a vacant sad stare. "Is it okay if I clean you off?" Oikawa whispered softly, wanting to ask Iwaizumi before doing anything, seeing the fragile state that she was in.

Iwaizumi silently took her shorts and underwear off with a trembling lower lip, knowing that she had to get rid of the aftermath down there eventually, and she only wanted Oikawa to do it. She would be too scared by herself. She gingerly laid down on her back and put her legs up for Oikawa to look, shutting her eyes and reliving the horrifying experience, soundless tears starting to roll down her cheeks again.

"If you get too uncomfortable then please tell me, and I'll stop. Okay? You don't need to do anything right now." Oikawa told her through a sad sigh, tears bustling around her eyelids, blurring her vision. Iwaizumi nodded and scrunched her face up, putting two forearms over her face and starting to sob again, hearing Oikawa kneel down next to her open legs.

Oikawa whispered, "I'll be so gentle and get it over with as soon as I can." She gritted her teeth to stop the gasp when she saw the damage, not wanting to make Iwaizumi panic. She moved a shaky hand up to wipe at the blood, bowing her head down to try and look inside, glad to see that there wasn't anything wrong with the inside as far as she could tell, apart from the blood, which was common for sexual abuse victims. It didn't change how awful or violent it was, but she was glad that Iwaizumi didn't need professional medical assistance.

She dabbed the blood away gently, her other hand going up and caressing Iwaizumi's hand soothingly, Iwaizumi squeezing the hand back tightly, heavy sobs racking her body. "Are you comfortable telling me details? I can tell that a boy did this," Oikawa asked softly, as she grimaced and wiped away the semen.

Iwaizumi sighed and tried to swallow her tears, replying hoarsely, "I — I can't tell you who it was, we don't really know him. I've never spoken to him before. I know his name, but I'm too scared to tell you." Her voice trembled as she spoke, keeping her eyes screwed shut, wishing that she could forget his name.

"Everything that happens now is completely your choice and you don't have to tell me anything, I just want to be here for you." Oikawa said, her heart pounding against her ribcage in anger at the thought of whoever could do this to her baby, her burning desire to know held back by her need to respect Iwaizumi's boundaries. She wondered if it was Michimiya, and her blood boiled at the thought.

Oikawa continued, "Please don't be angry at me for asking, but did you want to press charges? I know the police are useless, but if you visited a victims centre right now for medical tests you would have evidence that you have vaginal trauma. And I would hope that there are no cameras in the girls changing room, but there will be right outside, which will show whoever did this to you entering and exiting where it happened. There is a lot of evidence."

Iwaizumi shook her head profusely, glad that Oikawa had worded it in a way that wasn't too pushy for her to go to the police, knowing that it must be hard to understand why she wouldn't go to the police. "I — I don't want strangers sticking swabs up inside me and taking pictures and probing and invading my body. As if I was murdered. It's so humiliating. And then the police making me talk about it over and over, and everyone at school calling me a liar."

She broke off her words as the cries overwhelmed her throat again, repeating, "It's so humiliating," through a cracked voice. Oikawa apologised for asking softly, wiping away the last red sheen from Iwaizumi's thigh, throwing the damp piece of toilet paper in the bin. Iwaizumi heard the bin lid and looked down at her naked lower half, glad to see that it looked the way it did before, even though the soreness and emotional scars remained.

Oikawa pulled on her underwear and shorts for her gently, helping her stand again, tucking her black hair behind both ears and holding her face. "You don't deserve this, and I wish I could take your pain from you." Oikawa whispered, their noses touching, watching as the tears rolled down Iwaizumi's cheeks, leaving a white trail behind its destructive path.

"How about we get some ice cream on the way back to mine and then stay in bed and we can watch whatever you want on Netflix?" Oikawa proposed quietly, her thumbs rubbing away the tears on Iwaizumi's face gently, although the moisture was quickly replaced by fresh tears. Iwaizumi nodded mutely, sniffling and pressing her lips together, feeling safe in her embrace.

Oikawa added with a light laugh, "Even though your taste in television is disastrous." Iwaizumi scoffed and called her a bitch, rubbing at her eyes and feeling a smile curl up her lips slightly, although only slightly. It still meant a lot to Iwaizumi that she had smiled at all, as during the past couple of hours she had fallen into a deep hole that she knew would be difficult to escape.

Smiling at the tug of Iwaizumi's lips, Oikawa wrapped an arm around her and guided her towards the exit of the bathroom. Iwaizumi sighed softly against the embrace, her arm slithering around Oikawa's waist and squeezing at the clothed flesh. "I just realised that you don't have any shoes on," Iwaizumi breathed through a short laugh, looking down at her bare feet that had turned pale from the cold floor.

"I got here as fast I could when I heard you crying over the phone," Oikawa replied with a short smile, knowing that if she even tried to complain about her bare feet it would seem trivial in the situation. Iwaizumi felt her heart flutter at the words, nuzzling the back of her head against Oikawa's shoulder, although her eyes watered and she started crying again.

Iwaizumi wasn't sure why the words made her cry again; whether it was because she felt she didn't deserve Oikawa, or if the memory of her crying in the changing room triggered the bad feelings again, or if the image of Oikawa running barefoot for her overwhelmed her and she was just in a fragile state. 

Oikawa sighed sadly and rubbed her arm, whispering that it was okay to cry and that she would cry too, the two of them approaching Oikawa's car. She opened the door for Iwaizumi on the passenger side, Iwaizumi wanting to thank her, the words slipping through her fingers, only small sobs coming out of her lips.

They drove to a small store nearby and Oikawa asked if Iwaizumi wanted to come in, hoping that she would, as she could keep an eye on her, but also respecting her decision when she asked to stay in the car. She asked Iwaizumi what flavour she wanted before saying she would be right back, sprinting in the direction of the illuminated glass doors.

Iwaizumi laughed slightly at the sight of Oikawa in her pyjamas with no shoes on running into a shop, her eyes frantically darting around the car park in fear that she would see Sano. Her heart raced when she saw a teenage boy, although she settled when she looked closer and he had lighter hair. The breath still didn't come easy, even though she confirmed that it wasn't him, her chest heaving up and down as she looked around at the dark car park.

Oikawa ended up buying her the flavour that she wanted as well as a lot of sour sweets, also buying painkillers and emergency birth control that she hid in her pocket, wanting to offer them to Iwaizumi discreetly when they got back to hers. The drive back was filled with Oikawa's jabbering, who wanted to fill the air with anything other than Iwaizumi's crying, wanting to distract her.

She talked on and on about how Bokuto had hugged Kageyama from behind because she thought it was Akaashi as their hair colour and style are similar, making Iwaizumi smile, and how Akaashi wouldn't talk to Bokuto for the rest of the day. Iwaizumi anxiously pulled at the skin on her thumb, glad when they reached the safety of Oikawa's house, asking her quietly to make sure that all of the windows and doors were locked.

"You go and get into bed, and I will be right up." Oikawa smiled at her, picking up Milk and handing the fluffy dog over to Iwaizumi, who smiled back and agreed meekly, starting to walk upstairs. Oikawa let out a relieved sigh as Iwaizumi disappeared from view, sinking down to the floor and burying her face in her hands, starting to cry. She had been holding it in for a while, and it felt good to let it out. She was being strong for Iwaizumi, but knowing that terrible thing had happened to her girlfriend, who was the sweetest person on the planet, made her sad.

Oikawa told herself that she would cry hard for a couple of minutes, wash her face, lock all of the doors and windows, and then bring ice cream up to Iwaizumi. She gasped quiet sobs, wiping her nose, her mind painfully reminding her of the blood that she had to clean up. She knew that she had no right to make any of the situation about her, which is why she waited to cry in private, calming herself down and whispering to herself that she had to support Iwaizumi.

After doing all of the things that she said she would, Oikawa entered the bedroom with a smile, two spoons in one hand and the other hand holding the large tub of lemon ice cream. Iwaizumi was sat underneath the covers, looking snug, with Milk sat on her stomach, curled up and looking content.

"Did you decide on something to watch?" Oikawa asked her as she slipped in beside her, opening the ice cream, smiling when she saw Iwaizumi was wearing Oikawa's comfy fluffy pyjamas. Iwaizumi let out a long sigh, her thumb pressing on the remote button as she flicked through titles to watch, shaking her head weakly.

Oikawa looked at her with a deadpan look and said, "Iwa-chan, I know you want to put on Spongebob. Just put it on." Iwaizumi felt a large smile curl at her lips at the show which she loved and which she knew Oikawa found annoying, letting out a small laugh through parted lips and putting on her favourite episode.

They watched it in a comfortable silence, apart from the sound of them eating the ice cream, Oikawa's eyes repeatedly flickering to Iwaizumi to check if she was alright, smiling when she saw her laughing at the stupid childish jokes on the TV. The first episode started transitioning into the second one, Iwaizumi pushing away the ice cream, seeing that they had eaten almost half of the large container.

Oikawa swallowed nervously as she reached in her pocket for the birth control and painkillers, making sure it didn't rustle or make a noise as she retrieved it, hoping that she didn't freak Iwaizumi out with it. "I bought these at the store," Oikawa said through a whisper, holding out the two small rectangular boxes, Iwaizumi's eyes falling on them.

Iwaizumi felt her eyes widen and a heavy feeling drag her organs down, hearing Oikawa continue, "It's your choice whether you want to take them, but I figured you might want to, and I can imagine it hurt." Iwaizumi felt her bottom lip tremble as the gravity of the birth control dawned on her, not really thinking before about the fact that Sano had finished inside of her, her anxious mind immediately starting to panic about pregnancy.

Taking the birth control from Oikawa first with shaking hands, Iwaizumi looked down at the box with stunned wide eyes, ripping it open and swallowing it dry. Oikawa watched with a nervous glance, asking if she wanted water for the painkillers, Iwaizumi shaking her head and popping out two of the white tablets, swallowing them dry. She couldn't wait any longer to feel the effects, and she screwed her eyes shut as she pushed back the thoughts of having to get an abortion.

"Thank you," Iwaizumi whispered, her breathing heavy, sinking down into a horizontal position on the bed. "Is there anything else you want me to do?" Oikawa asked her softly, moving the ice cream off of the bed, a cold circular imprint left in the sheets. Iwaizumi pulled the covers up to her nose, inhaling deeply, her body shivering slightly even though there was only warmth in the room.

Iwaizumi whispered, "Can you hug me until I fall asleep?" Oikawa smiled at the request, even though it made her want to cry, nodding mutely, opening her arms for Iwaizumi to cuddle into. She felt better now that she had taken medication for the pain, sighing softly against Oikawa's chest, the muffled sound of the TV playing making her feel calm.

She felt the familiar burning behind her eyes as she started to cry again against Oikawa's beating chest, tears starting to stream down her face and dampen the shirt. "I'm sorry," Iwaizumi mumbled through the tears, staggered sobs shaking her body. "Why are you apologizing? None of this is your fault." Oikawa replied quietly, squeezing her tightly, rubbing a hand up and down her back affectionately.

"I feel like it was my fault," Iwaizumi cried, feeling comfortable enough to talk about her true feelings when her face was buried in Oikawa. "I feel like it was all my fault. I feel like I should have been stronger." She continued through loud sobs, her words muffled as she pressed her face into the warm clothed flesh on Oikawa's torso.

Oikawa quickly replied, almost cutting her off, "You'll come to realise that isn't true when the wound of this horrible day isn't as fresh, believe me. If we're going to shift blame away from the lowlife piece of shit that did this to you then I'm just as at fault for not being there to protect you." Iwaizumi shook her head and said that none of it was Oikawa's fault for leaving her alone for less than two hours, clinging onto her as if her life depended on it, the idea of Oikawa feeling guilty making her heart hurt. A comfortable silence filled the air as Iwaizumi cried and sniffled, feeling Oikawa's tender touch on her hair, the loving strokes against the black hair calming her down somewhat. Her entire body felt heavy and dead, but Oikawa's embrace sparked a small flame of hope within her.


	7. chapter six

Iwaizumi fell into a deep sleep that terrible night, and the first of many hyper-realistic nightmares unfolded behind her eyelids. She was at a party with Oikawa, the two of them drinking and laughing with Bokuto, her arm slithered around Oikawa's waist as they talked with Bokuto about insignificant gibberish.

Oikawa whispered if she wanted to go upstairs with a sweet smile, to which Iwaizumi eagerly agreed, the scene instantly dissolving into a bedroom setting. She wrapped both arms around Oikawa and started kissing her, large grins on both of their faces, feeling her heart race at the pleasant touch, closing her eyes and indulging in the feeling. "Why is this bed so cold?" Iwaizumi breathed with a slight laugh against her lips, as a sudden chill shocked the skin on her back.

"What do you mean?" She heard, opening her eyes, her expression dropping in horror as Sano hovered over her, the setting behind him now the girls changing room. Iwaizumi looked behind her and realised that she was pressed against the cold changing room floor, her eyes flickering back to Sano, who had a grin stretching up to his wide terrifying eyes.

His face transformed into something out of a horror movie, his eyes rolling around in their sockets and his grin turning razor sharp, blood rushing out of his nostrils and dripping onto her naked lower half. Iwaizumi couldn't breathe, trying to shut her eyes to stop herself from seeing how scary it was, although Sano leaned forward and pried her eyes open, his disgusting blood dripping all over her face.

As soon as Sano grabbed her throat in the dream, Iwaizumi woke up with a loud gasp, jerking her body up in the bed, a scream escaping her lips. She breathed heavily and heard the scream stretch out for a long screeching note, putting both hands up to her hair, her entire body shaking and covered in cold sweat, feeling like her heart was about to burst out of her chest.

Oikawa instantly woke up from the scream, jumping from how loud it was, sitting up in the bed and feeling her heart race in distress as her eyes fell on Iwaizumi, who took a breath before screaming in shorter gasps. "What's the matter?" She whispered, putting a hand on Iwaizumi's exposed bicep. Iwaizumi was still in between two realities, not sure which world she belonged in, and panicked at the touch, hysterical breathy cries starting to form deep in her chest.

Iwaizumi pushed Oikawa away with a terrified sob, her eyes darting around the room which was flooded with morning light, slowly piecing together where she was. "I — I'm sorry, I shouldn't have touched you. Are you okay?" Oikawa whispered softly, feeling guilty as a pink colour rushed to her cheeks, making sure to keep her distance, even though she wanted to wrap Iwaizumi in a tight hug.

Putting a hand up to her loudly beating heart, Iwaizumi screwed her eyes shut, her mind barrelling over images of the nightmare distortion of Sano. She inhaled and exhaled quickly, wiping a hand over her sweaty face, remembering why she felt so terrified. Last night she had been sexually assaulted.

"I had a really scary dream," Iwaizumi breathed quietly, her bottom lip starting to tremble, turning her gaze towards Oikawa, an innocent sadness on her features. Oikawa sighed sadly, seeing the bustling tears in Iwaizumi's olive green eyes, asking Iwaizumi if she could hug her. Iwaizumi nodded mutely, covering her face with both hands to hide her cries, feeling warm arms wrap around her neck.

Iwaizumi meekly hugged her back, blinking through blurry tears as she choked sobs, feeling embarrassed at how much she had cried in the past day. Her glassy vision fell onto her arm, seeing the fresh dark bruise around her wrist from where Sano had held her down, starting to cry harder into Oikawa's chestnut hair.

Heavy sobs racked her body as she looked at the bruise, not having the strength to hug Oikawa back, falling limp like a doll and hearing the wails escape her. Oikawa bit the inside of her cheek and furrowed her brows in worry, whispering soothingly, "You're safe, Iwa-chan." She whispered consoling words into Iwaizumi's neck, her hand stroking down Iwaizumi's black hair.

Iwaizumi screwed her eyes shut as high childish cries escaped her frowning lips, the edges of her mouth pulled down in despair. She went on like this for a while, her throat starting to get sore from the choking sobs. The cries eventually turned into sniffles, Iwaizumi feeling herself calm down, trying to think about happy things; like her cats and Oikawa's smile.

Wiping at her eyes and sniffling, Iwaizumi pulled away and looked Oikawa in the face, seeing her expression of concern. "Wait, isn't it a Thursday?" Iwaizumi croaked, looking at the bedside clock which showed the time as '11:08' in block numbers against a circular screen. Oikawa nodded, Iwaizumi continuing with an alarming tone, "You need to go to school."

Oikawa replied, "I was glad that you slept in because you clearly needed it, and I wasn't planning on going to school anyway. Not when you're this upset." Iwaizumi looked away and shook her head, feeling the tears come on again. She pushed herself out of the bed and started looking for her shoes, Oikawa asking what she was doing worriedly.

"I'm sorry for making you deal with all this, so I'll go home. You should go to school. I don't want to hold back your grades, because it's not your issues. I'm just sorry." Iwaizumi sighed, wiping at her eyes, her voice cracked with tears, as she started shoving her foot into her shoe. Oikawa crawled to the edge of the bed and swallowed the urge to cry at how Iwaizumi was blaming herself for everything, seeing the tears roll down her cheeks.

Oikawa replied, "Iwa, you don't have to go through this alone. A few days off school won't hurt my grades, and I want to be here for you." Iwaizumi wiped her damp chin with the back of her hand, keeping her back turned to Oikawa, not able to shake off the guilty feeling. "You can be there for me after school," Iwaizumi murmured, kneeling down to tie up her shoe laces. She hoped that if she were rude enough, Oikawa would get angry with her and end up going to school.

"If you really want me to go then I'll go, but you have to promise me that you'll be fine by yourself." Oikawa said, pushing herself off of the bed and walking up to Iwaizumi, softly turning her so that she could see Iwaizumi's face. Iwaizumi looked at her for a moment, in slight disbelief at how she changed her mind so quickly to make Iwaizumi happy. She sniffled, knowing that Oikawa was suggesting that she might get suicidal.

Iwaizumi sniffled, "I'm not going to try anything, I promise." She put on a fake smile, lowering her eyes, feeling as though she were pathetic to look at. Oikawa agreed to go to school with a chirpy smile, telling Iwaizumi to wait for her to throw on some proper clothes and she would give her a lift back to her house.

Sitting back down on the bed with a short smile, Iwaizumi nodded, feeling glad that she didn't have to walk. Oikawa smiled back at her, finding her small nod and sniffles cute, rushing to get herself ready for school, trying to think of an excuse at the same time for why she was over two hours late.

Iwaizumi watched as the familiar brickwork of her house slowly flooded her vision out of the passenger seat window in Oikawa's car, her eyes flickering over it, worry swallowing her whole as she thought about facing her mother. "I'll keep my phone on me for the entire time I'm at school, so expect a lot of annoying texts from me." Oikawa told her through a smile, inhaling slightly nervously, not wanting to intrude on Iwaizumi's fragile aura.

"Thank you, for everything. I'll see you later." Iwaizumi breathed through a small smile, keeping her eyes on the floor, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from bursting into tears again, not wanting to cry before her mother saw her. "Please come over after school," Iwaizumi added on the end, hoping that her words didn't sound like a suicidal farewell.

Oikawa laughed lightly and said she would definitely be right over as soon as the bell rang, her fingers itching to hug Iwaizumi as they clung onto the steering wheel, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. Iwaizumi smiled at her laugh, scratching at her temples nervously, almost forgetting about the horrible thing for a second.

Leaning forward and pressing her lips against Oikawa's full lips, Iwaizumi fluttered her eyes shut and softly kissed Oikawa, holding the side of her face lovingly. Oikawa felt her heart race nervously, even though it had only been a day since they had last kissed, her fingers going to the back of Iwaizumi's head, smiling against the lips. 

Iwaizumi pulled away after a short while with a dreamy stare, kissing Oikawa a couple more times, the quiet lip smacking filling the air, before moving her body back to where it was. "Bye," She whispered happily, pushing open the car door and starting to walk towards her house. Oikawa watched Iwaizumi with a grin, letting out a breath that she hadn't realised she had been holding, feeling joyful butterflies as she pressed a hand to her lips.

Oikawa knew that what had happened to Iwaizumi was going to change their relationship, and she could feel the tension that it had caused already. So much had happened in the past day that it would be ridiculous to think that they could be completely confident with each other like they were before, as they had both changed, and it would take time for them both to live with themselves before they even began on their changed relationship.

But the kiss, despite it being a small gesture, reassured Oikawa that they would be fine. Their feelings for each other burned as strong as they did before; their experience in how awful the world was being the only thing that had changed. Oikawa drove to school with a short smile on her face, the thought of seeing Iwaizumi after school making the pain of leaving her less intense.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath in as she closed the front door behind her, hearing her mother clattering dishes in the kitchen, as she never worked on Thursdays. Feeling her heart hammer, Iwaizumi hoped that she could slip upstairs to her bedroom silently and not have to face her mother for at least a few hours, although one creak of the floorboards and Iwaizumi's mother was rushing out to the hallway.

"Why the hell aren't you at school?" She asked angrily, holding a damp pot and a green tea towel, a shocked expression on her face when she saw Iwaizumi. "I did go, but I really don't feel well, so I left. I'm going to bed." Iwaizumi lied through a breath, pushing her feet towards the staircase, not able to lift her eyes to meet her mother's.

Her mother quickly changed her tone when she saw the exhausted sadness laced into Iwaizumi's features, asking, "Are you okay, sweetie? Do you need some painkillers?" Iwaizumi shook her head and pressed her lips together, moving herself faster up the stairs, knowing that she would start crying soon, not wanting her mother to see her tears.

"I'll bring you up some soup in a half hour," Her mother told her softly as she disappeared from view, Iwaizumi humming an 'okay', gently closing her bedroom door behind her. Iwaizumi fell against the bed and buried her face in the pillow, starting to sob loudly, the cries muffled by the feathery pillow. She clung to it tightly, not knowing how she would ever be able to tell her mother what had happened.

Iwaizumi crawled under the covers, hiding her face underneath the fabric, letting the darkness envelope her. The hours slipped by of Iwaizumi doing nothing but staring at the wall, her covers up to her nose, blinking slowly. The hours slipped by into days, of Iwaizumi doing nothing but staring at the wall, sitting up to poke at the food that her mother made or Oikawa brought over, looking at the food in disgust.

She used to enjoy eating, but it all looked like mush to her now. Mush that she would pretend to eat, thanking the person who made it, throwing it all away with a grimace as soon as she was alone. Oikawa had noticed that the skin on Iwaizumi's face had stretched tighter, dark circles under her eyes, her body starting to wither away.

Oikawa wanted to ask her about it, but she didn't want to upset Iwaizumi with anything further, and so pretended like she didn't see when Iwaizumi would weakly push her food to her pockets. Iwaizumi hadn't left her bed in two weeks, and so whenever she would meet Oikawa it would have to be at Iwaizumi's house, which Iwaizumi's mother hated.

Her mother would knock on the door, Iwaizumi calling out that she could come in, a disapproved frown on her face as her eyes laid on Oikawa, who would always be sat on the bed next to Iwaizumi. "Do you need me to get you any medicine or food, honey?" Iwaizumi's mother asked her, Iwaizumi turning her glance to the ground, feeling guilty that her mother still believed she was physically sick.

"No thanks," Iwaizumi meekly replied, trying her hardest to curl her lips into a polite smile, playing with the hem of her hoodie. Oikawa felt the disapproving eyes on her, smiling respectfully towards the ground, holding back her usual argumentative nature that she had with Iwaizumi's mother, as she knew that arguing with Iwaizumi's mother would make Iwaizumi upset.

Iwaizumi's mother said, "Does Oikawa need a ride home? It's getting late." Oikawa looked up at her and scoffed, surprised at how rude she was being. Iwaizumi sighed nervously, knowing that Oikawa wouldn't be able to let the sly comment slide, putting a pinkie finger on top of Oikawa's pinkie finger against the bed.

"Mum, I'm not feeling well and you're trying to upset me by insulting her." Iwaizumi said quietly, taking a piece of her black hair and brushing her chin with it absentmindedly. "I wish you wouldn't do that, especially as she's been there for me lately more than you have." Iwaizumi continued, hearing the malice drop into her words, biting the inside of her cheek.

Oikawa met Iwaizumi's mother's shocked eyes, feeling like she had intruded on a personal family moment. "What does that mean? You're saying I'm a bad mother now? Because you won't tell me why you won't leave your bed?" Her mother retorted, Iwaizumi feeling a nervous pang at the fact that her mother knew that she was lying, squeezing Oikawa's hand tighter.

"Tell me why you're been so distant lately, Iwaizumi." She continued, crossing her arms over her chest as if she wouldn't leave until she got her answer, Iwaizumi feeling her heart pound against her ribcage anxiously. She turned to look at Oikawa with a fearful expression, Oikawa looking angry at her mother, although she bit her tongue for Iwaizumi's sake.

Iwaizumi knew that she wasn't ready to tell her mother yet, swallowing a lump in her throat. "Fine, I'll tell you." Iwaizumi piped up nervously, Oikawa giving her a worried look, her brown eyes flickering back to Iwaizumi's mother who waited impatiently. "Oikawa and I have been dating for two months. I'm gay." Iwaizumi stammered, a red colour on her cheeks.

Oikawa felt relief wash over her that Iwaizumi had thought of something else to say fast, looking at Iwaizumi's mother with a smug smirk, knowing that was probably the last thing that she wanted to hear. "You know I'll always love you unconditionally, no matter what gender you like. But, her?" She pointed at Oikawa with a sour face, who laughed and wrapped an arm around Iwaizumi.

"Iwa-chan is out of my league, right?" Oikawa grinned through a giggle, pressing the side of her face against Iwaizumi's, who fought back a smile, her cheeks still flushed pink. Iwaizumi's mother sighed, looking between them as Oikawa hugged Iwaizumi tightly and repeatedly kissed the side of her black hair with loud exaggerated lip smacking noises.

Iwaizumi's mother said, "If she makes you happy, Iwaizumi, then I'm not going to stand in your way. I still don't think you're suited, though." She left without another word, Oikawa watching her with a happy grin, feeling glad that Iwaizumi had told her mother. Her parents were still abroad somewhere, and wouldn't be back for another month or two, so the opportunity to tell them about her relationship with Iwaizumi hadn't arisen yet.

"She took it better than I thought," Oikawa teased sarcastically with a giggle, turning to look at Iwaizumi, who had a small smile on her face, although her mind was elsewhere. Iwaizumi chewed on her bottom lip and let her eyes trail over Oikawa's features, inhaling at how ethereally gorgeous Oikawa was.

Iwaizumi suddenly felt a guilt wash over her as she looked at Oikawa, feeling tears burn in her eyes. "I'm sorry," She whispered, making Oikawa pull a confused face, Iwaizumi biting down on the inside of her lip with painful force. Oikawa asked why she was apologising, worry laced into her features, rubbing a hand up and down Iwaizumi's upper arm.

"I'm sorry that I'm such a bad girlfriend, because I can't have sex right now." Iwaizumi whispered, her voice strained as she choked back cries, wiping at her eyes and looking at the ground. "My mum was right, in that we're not suited. You deserve someone better than me; someone who actually touches you."

Oikawa looked at her for a moment in disbelief, watching the tears roll down Iwaizumi's cheeks, before quickly replying, "Iwa, no offence, but your mum is a total bitch. I like you so much, and I don't mind that we're not having sex right now." 

Oikawa knew deep down that this was a lie, and the couple of weeks of abstinence had been taking a toll on her. She had masturbated a lot thinking about when Iwaizumi was sexually active, but she knew it would be too insensitive to tell that to Iwaizumi. But that didn't change how much she liked Iwaizumi, and was prepared to wait.

Iwaizumi sniffled and shook her head, continuing, "You are so hot, and you deserve to be getting laid. I know that I'm getting better with each day, but I can't expect you to wait until I'm ready to have sex again. I don't know how long it will be." She kept her eyes on the ground, weakly wiping at her damp face, her heart racing nervously as she practically invited Oikawa to break up with her.

"Unless you want me to leave then I'm not planning on leaving you, Iwa-chan. I'm not about to leave when nothing that you have done has affected our sexual relationship, as none of this is your fault. Just sitting next to you is more than enough to make me happy; you seem to forget that's what I did for fifteen years before we started seeing each other."

Iwaizumi felt a large smile grow on her features at the sweet words, her heart fluttering, rubbing the moisture from the dark circles under her eyes. "Man, fuck your mum. She's a bitch. We are one hundred percent well suited." Oikawa continued, a teasing smile on her features as she swayed Iwaizumi from side to side in her embrace. 

Letting out a loud laugh at her brave words, Iwaizumi felt her grin grow so large on her face that it almost pained her, looking at Oikawa with adoration, hoping that her mother didn't hear what Oikawa had said. Oikawa smiled at the happy laughter, feeling her stomach flutter with nerves at the fact that she had caused such an angelic thing to happen before her eyes.

Iwaizumi could feel a parasite eating through her insides at all times, and it was slowly sucking the life out of her. Nothing brought her joy, apart from the few hours a day she could spend with Oikawa. But even then, her mind screamed at her that Oikawa was too good for her and would find someone else, or she had intrusive thoughts that Oikawa would sexually assault her.

Her nightmares treated her terribly, Iwaizumi waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night numerous times after having to live through a dream where Oikawa had assaulted her instead of Sano. Her mind was trying to make her turn on Oikawa, who had never ever made Iwaizumi sexually uncomfortable in her life. It was cruel.

Iwaizumi would cry herself back to sleep, her entire body trembling with fear, her sheets soaked with sweat. She felt as though her mind was cracking, and had been so anxious and afraid at times that she were persuaded someone was watching her in the darkness of her room. She would turn her head with wide eyes, her mind telling her that Sano was there and about to assault her again. She could practically feel the touch on her skin before she even looked.

The bruises on her wrist and thighs slowly faded with each day that passed, but her body got more and more broken by the day. Iwaizumi would look down at it, blinking slowly at the violated meal for monsters, too burnt out to cry. She barely cried anymore; her mind was just a painful white noise that buzzed and buzzed.

Iwaizumi's brother would occasionally come into her bedroom and call her lazy for sleeping all day, which would make her feel worse. She felt incapacitated at every level; she could do nothing. She was in agony when she was awake, as she had flashbacks and thought about possible scenarios in the future, her social anxiety swallowing her whole. 

And then when she tried to escape that through sleep, her subconscious served her terrifying nightmares that would wake her up every single night. Sleep was supposed to be a safe place, where you rest, and nothing can hurt you. It was almost worse in her nightmares, but when Iwaizumi tried to stay awake for a couple of days she ended up sleeping for almost an entire day and had the worst nightmares of her life.

Iwaizumi was struggling to take showers too, as she would be forced to look at her naked body under the running water, feeling all breath escape her as she looked down at her exposed flesh, remembering the vile touch. She would start to hyperventilate, putting a hand up to her mouth so that no one would hear her panic attack, crying silently, which would trigger her even more as she remembered how she silenced herself during the assault.

She tried to be honest and explain how rough it was to Oikawa, who would listen with an upset expression, but Iwaizumi eventually lied and stopped giving her details because she didn't want to burden Oikawa. When Iwaizumi had told Oikawa about the nightmare where Iwaizumi had been stabbed ten times by a seven foot tall man and then boiled alive, and seen the look on Oikawa's face, she decided that it was probably too much for Oikawa.

Oikawa wanted Iwaizumi to tell her everything, even if it made Oikawa frightened; especially if it made Oikawa frightened. Iwaizumi was suffering, and Oikawa at least wanted to suffer with her, even if her suffering was considerably less as she only had to hear about it, and not live through it like Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi would always worry about the fact that Oikawa would see Sano in school, and not know that he was the one who caused this, and who haunted her every waking and sleeping moment of every day. She worried that Sano might do it to other girls, but she also didn't deserve to feel guilty for not coming forward to protect other people when it was him who was doing the destructing.

Oikawa missed Iwaizumi in school, and would text her as much as she could, trying to ignore the boys who circled around her with flirtatious smiles. She would let her eyes trail up out of curiosity, sighing softly as she remembered her sexual adventures with Iwaizumi, missing that intimate touch. She felt guilty for even thinking about sex when Iwaizumi had been pushed into a frightened asexual bubble, but she couldn't help the sexual feelings.

A boy approached her and asked if she was alright, Oikawa snapping out of her daydream about Iwaizumi's body, blinking fast and looking up at him. A light blush rose to her features, feeling like she had been caught doing something illegal. She replied that she was fine, picking up a grape from her lunch and chewing on it through a short smile. She inhaled deeply, swallowing guilt as she thought about the boy on top of her, mentally telling herself that she was a terrible girlfriend for even thinking about it.

Iwaizumi was sat at home under her covers, her face pressed against the side of the pillow, mindlessly scrolling through her social media, no light behind her eyes. She heard a knock at her bedroom door and called for her mother to come in, not bothering to look as she heard the door creak open.

"Hey, Iwaizumi." She heard a familiar female voice, whipping her head in the direction of her bedroom door in shock, her eyes falling on Hinata and Bokuto, wide grins on their faces. "Hi," Iwaizumi greeted them uncertainly, her heart hammering, self-consciously pulling the duvet around her body tightly and putting on a fake smile.

Her mind tripped over itself as to why they would be in her bedroom, and a wave of embarrassment flooded over her at her depressed state, feeling as though she must look pathetic. She hadn't brushed her hair in a long time and she could imagine her room smelled awful, as well as the fact that she was in bed in the middle of the day.

"W-What are you guys doing here? Do you not have school?" Iwaizumi asked nervously as she averted their gaze, clearing her throat and watching as they both curiously looked around her room and sat on the floor. "We were just worried about you, as you haven't been responding to messages and Oikawa stopped posting those annoying photos of you two together every day." Bokuto said with a light laugh, her smile radiating a warm feeling.

Iwaizumi meekly smiled, hearing Hinata chime in, "We asked Oikawa if anything was wrong but she wouldn't tell us, so we thought we would drop by and wait on your porch until you got home from school, but your mum saw us and invited us in." Iwaizumi swallowed a lump in her throat, not sure how she was going to escape this situation, pulling at the flesh on her hands.

"Thank you for coming all this way, but I — I'm really fine." Iwaizumi replied quietly with a false laugh, knowing how insincere the words sounded, exhaling deeply. Bokuto and Hinata's personalities were both the soft maternal friend, and it made Iwaizumi's heart hurt because of how much she wanted to vent and tell them everything. But something held her back, and the chance of her mother overhearing the conversation stopped her.

Hinata asked, "Even if nothing's wrong, can we stay with you for a while?" She could tell that something had happened to Iwaizumi, judging by the way she spoke and acted. Iwaizumi nodded weakly, keeping her eyes lowered to the ground, wanting to tell them both how much the gesture meant to her.

Bokuto moved her face close to the drawing of Iwaizumi with a smile, asking Iwaizumi if she drew it. "Oikawa did," Iwaizumi replied through a toothy grin, feeling her heart flutter even at the name. "Don't tell her I told you that, though. For some reason she's embarrassed about the fact that she's talented at art."

"I wonder if she would draw me naked," Bokuto said as she stroked her chin, raising her eyebrows at Hinata, hoping that she would get some feedback on the idea. "No one would want to see that, Bokuto-san." Hinata replied, hearing Iwaizumi's light laughter, Bokuto dramatically huffing and calling her a bully. Iwaizumi smiled down at the ground, glad that the two girls had chosen to drop by. It was isolating all by herself, and she appreciated being able to spend time with people who didn't know and didn't remind her at all of the assault.

Bokuto asked Iwaizumi if she wanted to go to a party later that night, trying to persuade her by saying that there would be a pool again and Hinata would once again be wearing a bikini. "Oh my god, that's so embarrassing." Iwaizumi mumbled, covering her red face, peeking through her fingers at Hinata anxiously.

Hinata giggled loudly, Iwaizumi continuing, "I'm so sorry again. If you wanted to get me back by punching me or anything like that, then you're more than welcome to." Her loud laughing turning into an amused gasp, Hinata replied, "Don't be silly, Iwaizumi. I've told you it didn't bother me. You can dance with me at the party later as an apology."

Iwaizumi felt a short smile curl at her lips, already certain that a party would be terrible for her mental state right now. The thought of seeing any boy made her skin crawl, let alone horny boys trying to get close to her, with a drunk confidence. "I'll probably skip this one because I have a bad stomach, but you guys should make sure that Oikawa goes and that she has lots of fun. She deserves it."

Hinata pouted and asked if she was sure that she didn't want to go, Iwaizumi nodding with a polite smile, trying to avert her gaze. "I appreciate the invite but you should really ask Oikawa, I'm sure she'll be the life of the party." Bokuto quickly retorted that she was always the life of the party, making Iwaizumi smile, hearing Hinata and Bokuto start to bicker childishly.

Later on in the evening when Iwaizumi was alone again, she felt her phone buzz, looking down and seeing a text message notification banner. It read; 'From: Bokuto - the party is pretty boring without you, hope you're okay <3'. Iwaizumi smiled to herself, biting the inside of her cheek and feeling tears come to her eyes.

She wanted more than anything to be spending time with her friends, and she hated how her life had crashed to a standstill because of some evil person. Iwaizumi texted back her thanks and said she'll come to the next party, locking her phone and turning over in the bed, starting to cry quietly against the pillow.

Oikawa sighed as she downed another drink, feeling guilty for being at a party when she knew Iwaizumi was at home. She did visit Iwaizumi after school, met by a bone-crushing hug between Hinata and Bokuto, and so felt as though she couldn't refuse the invitation as the three girls all wanted Oikawa to go so badly.

"Why do you look so sad, sugar tits?" Kuroo asked from beside Oikawa, a drunk smile on her face, twirling a beer bottle around her slim fingers. Oikawa straightened her posture and put on a forced smile, not realising that she had been in her own mind, embarrassed that someone had noticed her mood.

Oikawa replied, "The only reason why I'm sad is because I have an empty glass in my hand." She stormed away to the drinks table, feeling frustrated at everything. She needed to be more drunk, and try to forget. Pouring a normal-sized glass full to the brim with vodka, Oikawa started chugging the entire thing, a grimace on her face, feeling the liquid burn through her system.

"Woah there, slow down." Oikawa heard Hinata's soft voice from beside her, ignoring the words and continuing to chug the liquid fire, her face scrunched up. She finished and let out a long breath, coughing and shaking her head, rubbing the residuals from around her mouth, the taste strong on her tongue.

Oikawa felt the effects quickly, falling against Hinata with a giggle. "Oopsie daisies," Oikawa hiccupped, almost crushing Hinata because of how small she was, her vision swimming in gentle waves. "Let's go and sit," Hinata breathed through a laugh, her arms shaking as she tried to hold Oikawa up, clearly not strong enough.

Letting her body be pushed towards the sofa, Oikawa flopped down against the cushion, sighing heavily. Her eyes trailed beside her and landed on Sugawara and Tendou, who were smoking weed and laughing throaty laughs about something. "Hey, hey, you guys." Oikawa slurred through a whisper, pointing at the two girls.

"Are you guys sexually active right now? No-Not like, with each other, but by yourselves with other people?" Oikawa continued through a heavy slur, raising her eyebrows and keeping her finger pointed at them. Tendou and Sugawara looked at each other with an amused look, Tendou asking Oikawa why she was asking.

Oikawa replied, "I'm just so horny, you know? I haven't been touched in such a long time! Isn't that sad?" She raised her voice, not caring that people could hear her, her tone dramatic. Sugawara laughed and asked why not, taking another toke of her lit spliff, hearing Oikawa burp and almost throw up.

"Nah, I — I can't say why, so you'll just have to trust me on this. I am not having sex, okay? Don't get me wrong, I beat my meat at least twice a day. And it feels, eh, it's not bad. But sex with Iwa-chan? Sex with Iwa? Oh my god." She dragged out the last word for a long note, shutting her eyes and putting her hands in the air as if she were rejoicing divinity. 

The two girls laughed at her dramatic drunk ramblings, Oikawa laughing with them, her eyes flickering across the room. She let her eyes trail towards two guys kissing, turning her face away and groaning, exclaiming that she wanted to be getting laid like everyone else was. She felt guilty for being so self-centred, but she also had to appreciate her sexual needs. Many guys and a couple of girls approached her that night, all of them flirtatious and down to have sex, Oikawa politely turning them down, although after an internal battle with herself. She flirted back, and the devilish side of her begged her to indulge in her sexual fantasies. She wasn't sure how much longer she could fight the desire.


	8. chapter seven

Oikawa pried her eyes open groggily, feeling her brain pound against her forehead. She groaned and turned over, her mouth dry, glad to see that she had made it back to her house after the party last night. Milk stirred from the bottom of the bed at her noise, Oikawa rubbing at her eyes and getting up for a large glass of cold water.

She looked down at her phone, seeing lots of messages from people she had almost slept with at the party, feeling guilty at the urge to ask one of them to come over to her house. Oikawa texted Iwaizumi and asked if she was okay and what time she should come over, complaining about her aching hangover.

Iwaizumi quickly texted back and said that any time was fine, replying that she was glad that Oikawa had fun. Iwaizumi left out the part about her horrible nightmare that woke her up at four in the morning, and she hadn't been able to fall back asleep. She felt happy that Oikawa had gotten away from it all for a night, and didn't want to drag her back into it so soon.

Every day felt like the same nightmare to Iwaizumi; she would wake up, eat near to nothing, force a smile for her mother or Oikawa, stare at the wall or her phone, maybe cry a little bit, and dwell about how sorry she felt for herself, ending the day by falling asleep and living out horrific dreams.

Days stretched by uneasily and quickly, Iwaizumi surprised when she realised that she had been assaulted almost three weeks ago. It felt like both the longest and slowest three weeks of her life. She did feel as though she were almost ready to try and be normal again, although her social anxiety begged to restrain her with shackles.

Oikawa knocked on the bedroom door with a grin, Iwaizumi sitting up excitedly when she realised it was Oikawa, her heart pounding against her ribcage. "Hi," Iwaizumi greeted her through a smile, Oikawa walking in with a plastic bag of takeaway food. "You look happy today," Oikawa replied with a smile, crawling onto the bed beside her and putting the food next to them, the aroma of Chinese food filling the room.

"I feel pretty good today," Iwaizumi smiled meekly, not lying for once, although the smell of the food still made her nauseous. She wasn't sure why the sexual trauma had caused her to lose her appetite, but it was definitely a knock-off effect of the incident. Oikawa felt her grin grow at the words, saying, "That makes me very happy."

Iwaizumi blushed slightly at the vulnerable conversation, a short smile on her face, scratching at her kneecap nervously. She still felt down, but that morning when she woke up she could feel her mental state slowly begin to heal itself. She wasn't sure what had triggered it, and she still had a long way to go, but she felt as though she could now see the goal, even if she was nowhere near to reaching it. Just being able to see the goal was still an achievement.

Oikawa ate her food with a warm feeling, offering Iwaizumi different dishes with a pleading look, telling her how delicious it was. Iwaizumi politely declined, laughing at Oikawa's dramatic performance of how tasty the Chinese food was, Oikawa exclaiming that it was the best thing she had ever eaten in her entire life. 

When Oikawa left Iwaizumi's house later that night with a grin, she felt pangs of guilt rack her body. She had been going to lots of parties, and every day she got closer to letting go and having sex with someone. She felt guilty as if she had already slept with someone, as she knew that her mind and soul would be devoted to Iwaizumi emotionally forever, but her sexual side begged to be satiated. She knew it wouldn't feel as good as it did with Iwaizumi, but she craved that touch.

Oikawa let out a sigh as she stepped into her car, slamming the door and resting her forehead against the steering wheel. She had never been in a committed relationship before, and her insecurities begged her to ruin it and continue being the whore that she was known to be.

Iwaizumi woke up a couple of days later with a small smile, not having had a nightmare that night thankfully, turning over in her bed and seeing that it was before noon, surprisingly. It was also a Sunday, which was her favourite day of the week. Everything was peaceful and quiet on Sundays.

She stretched her arms out and yawned, smiling as she saw her two cats curled up on her rug on the floor, their tiny paws facing upwards and exposing the pink paw pads. Something felt different in the air, and as she pushed herself out of bed, she felt the urge to actually leave her house. Her heart raced even at the thought, but she was suddenly hit with the confidence to go outside.

Iwaizumi bit her lip nervously, the same smile on her face, pulling at the skin on her hands, starting to change out of her pyjamas before she could change her mind. Her mother heard her clothes drawer opening and shutting, knocking cautiously and asking with a shocked tone if she was about to go somewhere.

"I think I'm going to go and see Oikawa," Iwaizumi replied through the door through a toothy grin, looking at her reflection and brushing her tangled hair. "That's great, sweetie. I'm happy for you. Don't be back too late." Iwaizumi's mother replied, Iwaizumi smiling and feeling her stomach flutter from joy at the words, saying that she would be back before dark.

Iwaizumi pushed her feet into her shoes, sighing nervously and biting down on the inside of her cheek, hesitantly peeking out of her curtains to look at the outside world. Everything looked very still and peaceful, her eyes trailing over a small boy walking his dog, the pink lead shimmering under the sunlight.

Saying goodbye to her mother, Iwaizumi shuffled her feet out of the front door, feeling the fresh air on her skin for the first time in three weeks. It felt nice. She didn't feel completely safe, her eyes erratically scanning the scenery at all times to make sure that Sano wasn't there. She whispered to herself that the chances of seeing Sano were near to zero, as it was a Sunday and no one usually left their houses on Sundays.

Iwaizumi then whispered to herself that the walk to Oikawa's wasn't that far, and Oikawa would be so proud of her for leaving her house. She smiled to herself as she walked with speed, thinking about Oikawa and her warm brown eyes that would welcome her when she opened the front door.

She felt happy that the first place she would visit would be Oikawa's house, as that was the haven where Iwaizumi and Oikawa had spent so many hours being intimate with each other, both physically and emotionally. Her heart raced nervously, keeping her eyes flickering across every face she passed, making sure that it wasn't Sano.

When her eyes would trail across a man's face and he would smirk suggestively at her, she would walk faster, all breath escaping her. Her social anxiety was heightened by men on the street and how disgusting they could be, although she calmed herself down when she remembered where she was going and who would be there.

Iwaizumi let out an excited breath as she reached Oikawa's driveway, tucking her black hair behind an ear and walking up to the porch. She pressed the doorbell with shaking hands, looking behind her with a paranoid gaze, feeling as though someone might be following her.

The door swung open, Iwaizumi's grin growing as her eyes laid on Oikawa, feeling her heart skip excitedly at the face. "Iwa, you're out of bed." Oikawa stated with surprised wide eyes, her expression dropping when she saw the familiar girl, a pale colour creeping onto her face. She swallowed nervously and averted her gaze to the ground, Iwaizumi instantly feeling that something was wrong.

Iwaizumi looked down at Oikawa's body, noticing that she was wearing a dressing gown that covered her body which was very clearly naked underneath. Her shoulder was exposed and the rope had been tied messily, Iwaizumi feeling dread twist in her stomach as she let her eyes slowly trail back up to Oikawa's guilty face.

"I, um, came over to see you." Iwaizumi said quietly, swallowing the lump in her throat, hoping that her brain was torturing her and what she thought was happening wasn't really happening. Oikawa felt her paleness grow deeper, although a pink blush from embarrassment crawled onto the bridge of her nose.

A silent tension like cyanide filled the air as Iwaizumi looked at her expectantly, Oikawa not brave enough to look her in the eye, her hand on the door starting to shake as the gravity of her betrayal started to sink in. A voice from behind Oikawa spoke, "Hey, is it cool if I use your shower?"

Iwaizumi looked behind Oikawa to see who the person was, seeing a shirtless figure scratching at the back of his neck, looking disinterested. Her insides dropped in fear at who she saw, her eyes bulging wide and horror flooding her features at the face from her nightmares that stood before her. Sano.

Ripping her eyes away from Sano, Iwaizumi covered her mouth with her hand and felt tears burn behind her eyes, storming away from the porch and down the driveway. Oikawa rushed after her and shouted weakly for her to wait, holding onto her by the forearm pleadingly and feeling regret smack her across the face.

Iwaizumi felt like she couldn't breathe, blinking away tears and trying to comprehend the situation. The person who had violated her and forced her into a suicidal depression had slept with her girlfriend; the one person who she felt safe around. Oikawa didn't know that Sano was the one who had caused her this pain, but she had still slept with someone else. She felt sick that Oikawa had gone there, the images of them together making her want to die.

"Oh my god. Why — Why would you do that?" Iwaizumi whispered through a panicked sob, her hands going up to her hair, her glossy eyes turned to the ground. Oikawa breathed heavily and fought the urge to cry at Iwaizumi's distress, feeling her body tremble, not sure how she was going to explain or fix what had happened.

Oikawa cleared her throat nervously and stammered quietly, "I — I'm sorry, I — I didn't know we were being exclusive with each other." She knew how stupid the words sounded as they escaped her lips, her panic growing deep within her as she realised that Iwaizumi would never forgive her, feeling like she needed to make up lies and excuses to bring her back.

"Are you fucking serious? You didn't know that we were being exclusive? Does that mean that you've been sleeping with other people this entire time?" Iwaizumi scoffed angrily, her cheeks burning as tears rolled down them, looking at Oikawa in disbelief. Oikawa knew that she deserved the anger, wanting Iwaizumi to yell at her and tell her Oikawa was nothing to her.

Oikawa kept her eyes on the ground, replying quietly, "He was the only one." Iwaizumi had to turn her face away as she felt embarrassed by her crying, putting both hands up to her eyes as she cried heavily, feeling as though her heart had broken into tiny pieces. Nothing could have hurt her more than what had happened. It hurt so much.

"You told me you liked me," Iwaizumi heaved sobs as she spoke, putting a hand up to her chest when she felt genuine pain at her heart, gripping at the fabric as cries racked her body. "You told me that you would wait until I was ready," Iwaizumi continued through a cry, her breathing heavy near to the point of hyperventilation, feeling as though her entire façade of happiness and mental stability had shattered around her.

Oikawa rubbed a hand over her face and bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying, feeling like it would make her seem like she was playing the victim. She was the bad, evil person now. The evil person who had hurt Iwaizumi, all because she wanted an hour of awful sex with the first person who had messaged her that morning.

"I do like you," Oikawa said through a breath, her bottom lip trembling as she watched Iwaizumi cry, knowing that it was all her fault and no one else's. Iwaizumi looked up and met her eyes, shaking her head and wiping at her damp eyes. "No, you don't. I don't know why I ever thought you would be with someone like me." Iwaizumi cried, her throat hurting.

Oikawa reached out to touch her arm, Iwaizumi slapping it away with a disgusted sob. "I mean, you could have anyone you want. Why would you want to be with me? I'm nothing special. Everyone wants you because you're so beautiful and funny and perfect. I'm nothing compared to you, and I guess it's about time that you realised what a fucking loser I am."

Iwaizumi felt her chest heave up and down, her cheeks flushed with colour as burning hot tears ran down them, her words cracked and strained with emotion. She screwed her eyes shut and had to turn away, feeling like her sadness was about to split her body open, her loud sobs filling the air.

"Don't say that, Iwa. It's not true. You're the only person I want to be with; I don't care about anyone else." Oikawa let her voice raise slightly, although the louder she spoke the more her voice trembled, knowing that all of this was her fault. Guilt seeped into every pore on her body as she looked at Iwaizumi, who scoffed at her words.

Iwaizumi sniffled back sobs, her eyes fearfully trailing to Oikawa's open front door, fearing that Sano would approach them. She felt her heart pound against her ribcage, looking back at Oikawa with teary eyes. "You slept with the boy who raped me," Iwaizumi whispered through a cry, her words shaky, her eyes gazing into Oikawa's brown irises.

Oikawa felt her expression drop and her eyes widen at the words, inhaling a staggered breath as the realisation of what she had done started to beat the shit out of her. She put a hand up to her mouth in shock, feeling the disgust at herself and at Sano infect her trembling body, the images of Iwaizumi in the changing room and the bloody thighs flashing behind her eyes.

Her mind barrelled over the past three agonising weeks, thinking about every time Iwaizumi had woken up screaming from a nightmare. And all of the times she had cried, and told Oikawa about how much she wished she had never lived, to save her from the pain that she felt. All of the times that Iwaizumi had described how violent her attacker was, and how apathetic he was when she struggled and begged him to get off of her.

"Iwa," Oikawa let out a gasp, her insides feeling heavy. "Iwa, I'm so sorry. I — I'm sorry that you just had to see him, and that I slept with him. I'm so sorry." Her words were strained with tears until they got higher pitched, understanding how much worse the situation was now that she knew who Sano truly was.

Iwaizumi shook off her apologies, too angry and upset to think about the fact that Oikawa didn't know Sano was the one who assaulted her. "If you're so sorry, like you say you are, then you wouldn't have done this. You would've waited for me to be ready, like you said you would." She cried weakly, feeling as though she might faint from how worked up she was.

"You are such a fucking asshole," Iwaizumi continued breathlessly, heavy tears streaming down her face and dripping onto the tarmac pavement. "Your girlfriend was sexually assaulted and instead of being there for her you decided to go and spread your legs and reward the person who did this to me. Do you understand how repulsive that is?! It's so disgusting."

Iwaizumi's voice reached a new level of volume, hysterical sobs shaking her body, feeling nauseated at everything. She shoved off invisible hands from her arms, looking down at the smashed fragments of her happiness. Oikawa knew she deserved the harsh words, feeling her chest hurt from how rightfully angry Iwaizumi was, hoping that Iwaizumi would yell at her more, as she deserved it.

Oikawa stayed silent and fought back the tears, swallowing a lump in her throat. "I thought you were so understanding," Iwaizumi whispered through a sob, wiping the dampness from the dark circles under her eyes, her bottom lip trembling. Oikawa sighed and gritted her teeth together to stop the tears, whispering, "It didn't mean anything to me with him, I was just being selfish and stupid."

"I thought we were so happy," Iwaizumi cried quietly, lifting her glossy eyes to meet Oikawa's, her words strained and staggered as she fought back the gasping sobs. Oikawa felt all of the regret and anger at herself flow through her body, not able to hide the tears that gathered in her eyelids, not knowing what to say to try and make the situation better. She knew that she had dug herself into this hole all by herself, and feeling regret wasn't going to change the fact that she was stuck at the bottom of the hole with no way out.

Iwaizumi heard her breathing become erratic as she choked back cries, knowing that she had already reached a point of vulnerability she wouldn't be able to go back on, her mind screaming at her to just pour out all of her negative thoughts. "And this whole time, I thought that Sano was this monster who every girl at school feared, and he only assaulted people for his sexual fantasies. But the fact that you consented to it just proves that, what, I'm not even good enough to bother asking for consent? I'm so fucking low that he thought I didn't even deserve the right to consent? But because you're so pretty and lovely, he gave you a choice?"

"Am I really that awful that I don't even get a say in what happens to my body?" Iwaizumi continued through her loud sobbing, her eyes wide with anger and emotion, her throat burning from how loud her voice had gotten and from the relentless sobbing. Oikawa looked at her in sorrow, her mouth hanging open in shock, in disbelief that Iwaizumi could ever think that way about herself.

Oikawa swallowed the urge to sob back at her, replying, "Sano's a scumbag, and what he did to you was completely unforgivable. It was evil, and you deserve so much better. You're the most beautiful person in the world to me, Iwa-chan. You're so much better than me." Iwaizumi covered her face with her hands, feeling guilty at herself for wanting to forgive Oikawa.

"Stop acting as if I'm ever going to be able to move past this," Iwaizumi yelled, her words shaky as she felt her heart pound against her temples. "It was clearly a mistake ever trying to be together, but now I don't even want to be friends with you." Iwaizumi continued through her sobs, and as she heard the words escape her lips it struck her in the heart, even though she was the one who had said it.

Oikawa scrunched her face up as she felt tears start to rush down her cheeks, shuffling her feet in the direction of Iwaizumi. "I know I don't deserve it but please hear me out," Oikawa whispered in a strained voice, the salty tears slipping down into the edges of her full lips. Iwaizumi shook her head with a rejective hum, not having the strength to speak.

"I don't want to anymore," Iwaizumi breathed through a quiet cry, turning her face away and starting to walk the way that she had came. Oikawa watched her walk with a panicked expression, feeling the only good thing in her life slip through her fingers. She inhaled deeply and felt her warm tears trickle down her cold cheeks, the view of Iwaizumi becoming more and more blurry through the wall of water.

Oikawa cried, "Iwa, please come back." Iwaizumi kept her face turned downwards and didn't look behind her, having to grab onto the ends of her black hair to stop her urges to turn back. Oikawa felt her despair settle deep within her, screaming loudly, "Iwa!" Her voice was strained high from the sobbing, her hands in tight fists at her sides, her body trembling, all of her emotion releasing into that one word that she screeched as loud as she could.

When she saw Iwaizumi turn the corner and disappear from sight, Oikawa crashed to the tarmac floor, sobbing loudly into her hands, her entire body racking from the gasping sobs. The gravity of what she had done dwelled, and how she had drove away the best person she knew because of how terrible she was. She eventually pushed herself up after she craved the warmth of her bed, wiping at her nose as she shuffled her numb legs towards her front door.

Oikawa let her blurry eyes fall on the devil himself, who was sat on her sofa, his face turned down towards his phone. "You seriously need to get out," Oikawa seethed, pushing the back of his head roughly, holding back the urge to get violent with him. She felt her heart race in anger, looking at him with a venomous glare.

She sank down the wall weakly, starting to cry again into her hands, hoping that Sano would leave quickly. When she didn't hear his reply Oikawa looked up, seeing that he hadn't taken her seriously and was laughing to himself. "Get the fuck out before I stab you in the face! I will fucking kill you!" Oikawa screeched loudly, her eyes wide with hysterical rage, meaning every word of what she had said. The thought of Iwaizumi wailing curled up in the corner of the girls' changing room flashed behind her eyes, and she couldn't control her infuriated wrath.

Sano's eyes widened in fear at the words, quickly giving in and starting to rush out of the front door, slamming the door behind him. Oikawa cringed at the loud bang, starting to cry again into her hands, not able to breathe from the heavy sobs that shook her body. She felt so disgusted with what she had done that she almost wished Iwaizumi would never talk to her again, to save Iwaizumi from the destructive foulness that Oikawa stank of.

Oikawa tried to control her gasping sobs, all breath escaping her as she thought about all of the happy memories that she had shared with Iwaizumi, and how quickly Oikawa had torn it all down. Her and Iwaizumi had been friends since they were two years old, and were both now seventeen, almost eighteen, so even trying to imagine a life without Iwaizumi was something that Oikawa was too afraid to think about.

She heard her phone ring from her bedroom upstairs, her head whipping up in surprise, her heart flipping as she thought it might be Iwaizumi. Running up the stairs as fast as she could, Oikawa darted into her bedroom, picking up the vibrating ringing phone and sighing sadly as she saw the name wasn't Iwaizumi; any name other than Iwaizumi was insignificant.

Oikawa threw the phone against the bed in frustration and started sobbing into the sheets, her phone lock-screen opening the floodgates again. Her lock-screen was Iwaizumi glaring into the camera with a short smile, an open book in her hands, black spiky hair framing her face, a golden hue bathing her and making her look angelic.

As Iwaizumi turned the corner away from Oikawa's house, she started running as fast as she could, her bottom lip trembling as she cried quietly. She tried not to trip through blurry vision, feeling as though her heart had been ripped out of the socket and there was a growing hole in her chest. She put a hand up to the fabric at her torso again, the physical pain still there, not caring about the fact that she was sobbing in public.

Iwaizumi reached her house quickly, fumbling around for her key and slamming the door behind her, wiping at her nose. Her mother approached around the corner from the kitchen, Iwaizumi looking up at her with eyes full of tears, an innocent sadness laced into her expression. "She cheated on me," Iwaizumi cried, her words strained and high.

Feeling warm arms wrap around her, Iwaizumi clung onto the soft figure, crying loudly into her neck. She heard her mother console her, whispering about how Iwaizumi always deserved better than a girl like Oikawa. Iwaizumi was too angry and upset with Oikawa to defend her character, her body shaking as loud sobs escaped her lips and dampened the shirt her mother was wearing.

"I feel so stupid," Iwaizumi murmured through the cries, her fingers tightening around her mother's back, feeling a hand stroke up and down her dark hair. Her mother replied soothingly that she wasn't stupid and she would feel better in time, squeezing Iwaizumi close and whispering that it would be okay.

Iwaizumi stayed in the embrace for a long time until the sobs died down to sniffles, pulling her face away and rubbing the moisture away from her face. She wanted to tell her mother about how awful the situation was, and how much she had been suffering because of the sexual assault, but she stopped herself.

She swallowed the dryness in her throat, keeping her eyes lowered to the ground. "Where are the cats? I think I'm going to go back to bed and I would love it if they were in the bed with me." Iwaizumi eventually breathed in a hoarse tone, hoping that the fluffy babies would ease her sadness slightly with their cuteness.

Her mother smiled slightly and said they were already on her bed sleeping, Iwaizumi nodding and starting to drift up the stairs. She heard her mother ask if she wanted anything to eat, Iwaizumi shaking her head with a rejective hum, gently shutting her bedroom door behind her. 

Iwaizumi's eyes fell on the bed and a short smile rose to her features, hearing the grey cats snoring lightly as they slept next to each other. She pulled her clothes off with heavy arms and crawled under the covers, the cats both curling up beside her, enveloping her in warmth. Her eyes flickered up to the ceiling, a flashback slamming into her vision, Iwaizumi thinking about the spot on the ceiling that she had fixated on during the attack.

Feeling her eyes gloss over, Iwaizumi exhaled a long breath, tiredly blinking and letting the tears wash down her chill face. Her fingers numbly ran through the soft fur on the cats' backs, not sure how she could possibly feel even worse than she did before today. Seeing Sano had triggered her deeply, which added onto the emotional pain of Oikawa cheating on her.

Iwaizumi cried as she thought about the chances of Oikawa deciding to sleep with that one specific person, deciding that the universe must truly hate her. She thought about his disgusting face and the careless way he had walked across Oikawa's hallway, her heart burning with despair as her mind raced over all of the healthy sexual interactions she had experienced in that house.

It was now tainted with Sano's vile stench, and every happy memory there had turned to slime. Iwaizumi lowered her eyes down and pulled a face when she saw a droplet of blood on her chest, her fingertip inspecting it, realising that her nose had started to bleed. She used to get nosebleeds often from stress when she was little, but she hadn't had one in years.

She quickly reached for a tissue and held it up to her nose, the blood making her anxiety twist and grow. She screwed her eyes shut and let out a staggered nervous sigh, thinking about when she had turned her body over for Oikawa and saw her thighs stained with blood. Her cries got louder, squeezing the bloody tissue between her fingers and feeling her body shake from the sobs. Everything was so awful.


	9. chapter eight

A sad sigh spiralled out of Iwaizumi's lips as she looked down at her locked phone, the image of Oikawa posing with her two cats flashing up at her, the brilliant white smile and the inviting warm brown eyes making Iwaizumi's heart hurt. It had been two days since Iwaizumi had caught Oikawa with Sano, and it felt as though all hope had been drained from her already lifeless body.

For the first day, Iwaizumi had cried and cried and cried. When she reached the second day she had worn herself out so much that all she could do was dissociate and hope that she would randomly fall ill to some fatal disease and die already. She was too afraid to attempt suicide, which made her even more depressed because she had no escape. She just had to endure.

Iwaizumi received her first message from Oikawa around two hours after she had stormed away crying, the notification banner reading; 'From: Oikawa (hot piece of ass) - i am so sorry for being so terrible'. Iwaizumi cried quietly and let out a light laugh at the parentheses which Oikawa had edited her contact as, shoving the phone underneath her pillow and sobbing into the soft fabric.

Oikawa would text Iwaizumi at least twice a day, just to tell her that she was sorry and she hoped that Iwaizumi was okay. Iwaizumi would never reply, not because they made her angry but because they made her sad. She missed Oikawa more than anything, but the images of her sleeping with Sano would flash behind her teary eyes every time she tried to consider forgiving Oikawa.

It was such a terrible situation that Iwaizumi wished desperately to escape from; all she wanted was to go back to that morning before the changing room incident when she had sex with Oikawa in her car and everything was beautiful. Everything was so beautiful before the assault, and it had ruined everything.

Iwaizumi looked down at her phone and scrolled mindlessly through her social media, her loneliness thundering down on her. She paused her moving thumb as she saw an Instagram post that Sugawara had uploaded, her grinning face next to her baby brother's. Her long grey hair that curled at the ends framed her cute face, her black mole dark next to her honey brown eyes.

The baby brother had the same cute grin, his chubby fingers wrapped around a lock of curly grey hair. Iwaizumi smiled at the photo, feeling her heart pang at how much she missed her friends and going to parties. Sugawara had always been the kindest friend to Iwaizumi, and because she never drank, only smoked weed, she usually took care of Iwaizumi and the others when they drank too much.

Iwaizumi sighed as she stared at the cute photo, nervously scratching at the skin on her neck as she contemplated asking Sugawara to meet somewhere outside. She felt as though her emotions were bursting at the seam, and she needed a kind face right now to tell all her problems to.

Sugawara would actually be the perfect person to vent to, as she wasn't such a close friend that Iwaizumi would be uncomfortable telling her about her problems, as Iwaizumi would be with her family, but she was close enough so it wouldn't be like venting to a complete stranger. Iwaizumi bit down on her lip and pressed the message icon on Instagram, quickly typing out with a racing heart if Sugawara was free that day to hang out.

Waiting no less than ten seconds to receive a reply, Iwaizumi felt a wide smile grace her features as Sugawara texted back: 'i would love that, where did you want to meet??'. Iwaizumi quickly texted back a nearby park, her heart fluttering with anxiety, hoping that she wasn't going to burden Sugawara.

The idea of telling someone what had happened in the past month was terrifying, but Iwaizumi felt as though if she didn't talk about it soon she might explode, and she was worried that when she had reached that point the option of ending her life would seem more appealing. She bit the inside of her cheek nervously as she worried that Sugawara would get uncomfortable as people usually do when you bring up sexual assault, sighing as she started to get ready to leave.

One of the reasons why Iwaizumi hadn't told anyone apart from Oikawa was definitely because of the way people reacted when you told them that you had been sexually assaulted. They would apologise as if it was their fault, and then look at you with pity and treat you like a child. They would get uncomfortable and try to change the subject, and make the victim feel like what had happened to them was something that needed to be perfumed and hidden beneath a sheet.

Iwaizumi didn't want to talk about it all the time, as it was triggering, but she hoped that when she did want to talk about it therapeutically with her friends or family they wouldn't back away and act as if she were troubling them. She just hoped that they would appreciate how uncomfortable it had been for her, and that ten minutes of uncomfortable talk about a terrifying ugly disgusting thing that had happened to her was nothing compared to what she had been through.

She put a little bit of makeup on and tried to look as presentable as possible, wearing a skirt for the first time in almost a month, walking to the park with her eyes lowered down to the ground at all times, too afraid to look up and possibly look into a man's face. Iwaizumi felt her heavy social anxiety sit on her shoulders, making her heart race by whispering evilly into her ear about how every man was going to pin her down and violate her for everyone to see. 

Iwaizumi finally lifted her eyes when she reached the bench that she agreed to meet Sugawara beside, sitting down gingerly, the cold metal felt against the back of her thighs. She curiously looked around, smiling at all of the dogs barking and playing on the grass, chewing on the inside of her lip.

She waited for less than a minute before she recognised Sugawara's chirpy walk, her grey hair bouncing as she walked over, a large grin gracing her face. "Hi, lovely. You look cute." Sugawara grinned through a breath, sitting down beside her, leaning forward and wrapping her in a tight embrace.

Iwaizumi smiled into the neck, hugging her back meekly, thanking her and replying that she looked cute too. Sugawara pulled away with the same smile, her perfume lingering around Iwaizumi's face, the pleasant aroma and Sugawara's aura easing her anxiety slightly. They fell into a conversation about what they had both been up to, Iwaizumi swallowing nervously and letting Sugawara do most of the talking, not wanting to spill all of her emotions immediately.

Sugawara felt the tense anxiety radiating from Iwaizumi, continuing to ramble on about how cute her brother had gotten recently, showing Iwaizumi some photos of the toddler in his new pyjamas. She wanted to wait and see if Iwaizumi would talk about why she looked so bothered and why she had been so absent on social media for almost a month, wanting to respect her boundaries.

"Is it okay if I, uh, tell you something?" Iwaizumi eventually breathed quietly, feeling her heart pound against her ribcage painfully, her fingers by her thigh scratching anxiously. Sugawara nodded and replied heartily that was fine, the corners of her lips still stretched upwards, her eyes softening slightly at the words.

Iwaizumi let out a heavy breath, feeling her limbs start to tremble, the soft eyes on her turning more worried at the anxiety deepening on Iwaizumi's features. A silence filled the air for a moment as Iwaizumi psyched herself up, feeling a prickle behind her eyes and her throat go dry, wondering if she could even say it after all.

"Around three weeks ago, this, um, this thing-" Iwaizumi started to stammer, abruptly slapping a hand over her mouth and screwing her eyes shut, shaking her head profusely. It felt so difficult to explain what had happened, and it was a mixture of humiliation and fear that choked her words.

Sugawara put a hand on her upper arm with furrowed brows of concern, whispering, "You can take your time, whatever it is I don't mind waiting until you're ready to say it." Iwaizumi swallowed the lump in her throat, nodding slightly at the words, her breathing getting heavier, glad that Sugawara was there. 

Iwaizumi took a moment or two to think about how she was going to say it, keeping her eyes shut, feeling safer if she didn't have to keep eye contact. "I was changing in the locker room when this — this boy from school came in, and then — then he-" Her words were shaky and broken, her legs shaking as tears started to rush down her face.

She took another break from speaking as she choked back cries, gaining coherence again before continuing, "He kept touching me and he told me to get on the floor," Iwaizumi whispered through a sob. She felt nauseous as she thought about Sano, her hand against her mouth pushing against the lips to stop herself from retching.

"And then I was — I was raped," She finished, her voice as quiet as possible, the scary word making her cover her face completely with her hands, curling her body in on itself to try and protect it from the vulnerable conversation. Iwaizumi felt the warm arms wrap around her again, Sugawara holding her close.

Sugawara whispered into her dark hair, "That's so terrible, Iwaizumi. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that." Iwaizumi buried her face in the warmth, quiet sobs racking her body, clinging onto Sugawara tightly, her fingers wrapped around the jacket fabric on Sugawara's back.

"You're the only person who I've told, apart from Oikawa." Iwaizumi mumbled through the cries, feeling a soothing hand rub up and down her back. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me, I know it must be scary." Sugawara replied in a calming voice, Iwaizumi feeling safe in the arms and the kind aura.

Iwaizumi felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, pulling her face away and rubbing at her eyes hurriedly, feeling slightly embarrassed. She looked up with teary eyes at Sugawara, who gave her a short smile, Sugawara pushing away a strand of black hair that had fallen into Iwaizumi's face and gotten damp from the crying.

"It is really scary," Iwaizumi breathed, wiping at her nose, keeping her body close to Sugawara's, nervously shuffling her feet on the ground. "I've been completely terrified ever since it happened, every second of every day." Iwaizumi whispered, feeling her bottom lip tremble, her voice strained and wobbling.

Sugawara continued to soothingly stroke her hair, the same soft smile on her face, not showing her distress on her features to try and make Iwaizumi more comfortable. "Do you want to talk about exactly what happened?" She asked in a smooth voice, Iwaizumi nodding meekly, feeling as though it would feel good to tell someone everything.

Iwaizumi buried her face in her hands as she told the entire story, having to pause a few times when she got too overwhelmed, her words broken with quiet cries. She explained about the blood and the bruises, Sugawara's hand on her back stiffening slightly at the graphic violence, Iwaizumi hearing the sad sigh from beside her.

When she finished retelling the awful memory of that day, Iwaizumi finally peeked through her fingers up at Sugawara. She had been the only one talking for the past ten minutes, so it was more of a one-sided vent, as Sugawara felt as though she would let Iwaizumi ramble on and let it all out before she would speak.

"I can't even imagine how much pain you've been in, Iwaizumi. You're so strong." Sugawara said through a smile, her hand moving Iwaizumi's hands away from her face. Sugawara crawled her fingers onto Iwaizumi's hand against the bench, squeezing the trembling slim hand. "You deserve so much better," She continued, her other hand continuing to caress the black hair.

Iwaizumi felt her lips curl upwards at the words, using her free hand to wipe at her face, the hand underneath Sugawara's warm hand relaxing. "The reason why I felt like I had to tell someone was because I've been relying on Oikawa this whole time, but we broke up." Iwaizumi sniffled through a breath, holding back her tears at the painful name.

"What happened?" Sugawara asked worriedly, her grasp still firm on Iwaizumi's hand. Letting out a sigh, Iwaizumi explained what happened and how she caught Oikawa cheating, Sugawara shaking her head in disapproval when she heard. "I wouldn't have immediately forgiven her if she cheated on me with anyone else, but the fact that it was him specifically was so horrible that I can't even think about fixing it." Iwaizumi continued, wiping at her nose.

Sugawara thought for a second before speaking, "I think it's probably helpful that you've talked about what happened to you with someone other than Oikawa, as it's now not just a thing between you two, and you can speak about it with me whenever you want. I'm not saying that what Oikawa did was fine in any way, and if I were you, I wouldn't want to forgive her either, but she didn't know that the guy she slept with had caused you that much pain, and I feel like the shitface who sexually assaulted you is the only person to blame about what's happened between you two."

Iwaizumi swallowed a lump in her throat as she processed what Sugawara said, thinking about it over and over as she shuffled her shoes against the ground. Sugawara continued, "From what you've told me, it seems like your relationship was great and healthy and then you were assaulted and Oikawa started being selfish with her sexual desires and that's why she cheated. She obviously made the wrong choice to cheat, which she actively chose to do, but the only reason why she cheated in the first place was because of the guy who did this who made you uncomfortable having sex with your girlfriend."

Listening to the words, Iwaizumi shook her leg up and down anxiously, her eyes flickering around the park absentmindedly. "I'm just sad that it turned out this way," She breathed through a shaky whisper, lowering her eyes down to the ground and feeling her negative aura burn brightly around her.

"I'm sad that it's turned out this way for you too," Sugawara replied in the same whisper, a short smile on her face, wrapping her arm around Iwaizumi and squeezing her tightly. "Something good is always waiting around the corner; the sun and moon will move and so will everything else." Sugawara smiled, rubbing a hand up and down Iwaizumi's arm as she hugged her.

Iwaizumi hugged her back with a genuine smile, her eyes bustling with tears, thanking her quietly, feeling relieved with the help of the advice. She was glad that she had told someone about everything that was troubling her, as she didn't feel as isolated from everything as she had before. She knew that she had someone else looking out for her.

Sugawara started talking about how she had been using astrology as a coping mechanism for her anxiety, pulling out her phone again and showing Iwaizumi an app that she had downloaded to see what the universe was projecting that day. Iwaizumi listened with a smile, nodding when she felt it was necessary, finding it sweet how into it Sugawara was and how much she wanted to help Iwaizumi meditate and calm down when she needed it.

"We're both Geminis, which is obviously the best sun sign." Sugawara said through a giggle as she scrolled through her birth chart, explaining what each house meant and how her birth corresponded with where the planets were at that very moment, shaping her soul. Iwaizumi smiled as Sugawara rambled on about how her volleyball team had too many Capricorns and it was annoying how stubborn and self-critical it made the group.

They spoke a little more about the situation, only when Iwaizumi brought it up, Iwaizumi explaining to Sugawara how she felt ready to have sex again before she caught Oikawa with Sano, but seeing him had triggered her and set her back slightly. She didn't feel as repulsed as she had on the day she saw Sano in Oikawa's hallway, and she felt frustrated that Oikawa didn't just wait a couple of hours, as Iwaizumi was ready to maybe try sexual things again.

Iwaizumi walked home with a short smile on her face, feeling relieved that she had been able to speak so openly with someone about Sano and Oikawa. She felt as though she had some clarity on the situation, and it didn't seem as scary when she knew she wasn't alone in figuring it out. As she walked through her front door she got a text from Sugawara, who sent her a download link for the astrology app she had rambled on about.

It made Iwaizumi smile, making sure to reply her thanks and download the app like she said she would, thinking about how a new interest would fill the empty time of depression. She greeted her mother with a smile, asking if it was okay for her mother to make her something hot for lunch, her mother surprised at the cheery smile on Iwaizumi's features.

Iwaizumi looked down at her phone and chewed on her lip, her thumb hovering over the message icon next to Oikawa's contact. She exhaled slowly as she thought about how she could even word what she wanted to say to Oikawa, worried that whatever she said would sound desperate.

Her heart skipped as she saw a message notification banner, her smile widening as she saw it was from Oikawa, as if the other girl had read her mind and eased her of the effort to message. It read; 'From: Oikawa (hot piece of ass) - would you be comfortable coming over to my house? even if you just glare at me in silence or call me a dumb slut as you kick me i'll take that over not seeing you. i miss you.'

Iwaizumi swallowed a lump in her throat as she tried to fight the wide smile, her mind telling her that she was stupid for wanting to forgive someone who cheated on her. She was usually the advocate for only dating people who treated you right, and give no second chances, but her heart wanted desperately to take Oikawa back. It was a lot easier to say that you would never forgive someone who cheated over being in the situation and wanting so badly to forgive them.

Her shaky fingers texting back a reply, Iwaizumi sent a message; 'To: Oikawa (hot piece of ass) - i can come over soon, to kick you and call you a dumb slut.' Iwaizumi put a hand over her mouth to try and kill the grin, unable to help herself as she flirted with Oikawa, her heart fluttering happily even from the text message.

Oikawa quickly texted back with a remark about how she would appreciate the beating down, telling her that whatever time was best for Iwaizumi would be good for Oikawa too. Iwaizumi sighed contently, already knowing that by the end of the day she would have forgiven the girl and her big brown eyes. Oikawa was the closest thing to a soulmate that Iwaizumi had ever experienced, and she would only consider breaking it off if Oikawa hurt her like this again, but for now she would slowly try to be okay with what had happened.

Iwaizumi felt her heart pound against her ribcage as she pressed Oikawa's doorbell, flattening out her clothes and worrying about how she looked, clearing her throat as she heard the approaching footsteps on the other side of the door. Oikawa inhaled nervously as she swung the door open, her smile growing as she saw Iwaizumi.

"Hi," Oikawa breathed through a smile, guiltily averting her eyes to the floor. She wanted to tell Iwaizumi that she thought she looked beautiful, but worried that it would make Iwaizumi uncomfortable, so kept the words hidden away at the back of her throat. "Hi," Iwaizumi smiled back, pulling at the skin on her hands anxiously.

Oikawa gestured for her to come in, Iwaizumi pushing her tingly legs inside the familiar house, trying to push back the images of Sano strolling around there two days earlier. "Woah, you actually cleaned this place." Iwaizumi observed through a teasing laugh, looking around curiously at the spotless living room, which was usually covered in filth.

"I couldn't have you sitting on a dirty sofa," Oikawa retorted through a short smile as she sat down on the pleasant-smelling soft sofa, patting a spot beside her for Iwaizumi to sit down. Biting on the inside of her cheek to try and hide the smile on her face, Iwaizumi gingerly sat down, settling down a large distance away from Oikawa.

Oikawa tried not to let the distance between them bother her, feeling her heart thump against her eardrums, the urge to cry growing strong at the thought of Iwaizumi being repulsed by being near her. Iwaizumi looked down at the floor, running her tongue between her lips nervously, her leg starting to shake up and down against the floor.

"Is it, uh, okay for me to try to apologise for what happened?" Oikawa eventually asked cautiously, not able to look Iwaizumi in the eye, her words shaky as she tried to keep composure. Iwaizumi turned her face up to look at her, seeing the trembling bottom lip, feeling her heart race at the forwardness.

Iwaizumi quietly replied that would be okay, taking a strand of her black hair into a shaky hand and playing with it as her heart hammered against her chest. Inhaling deeply, Oikawa met her eyes, feeling her entire body tremble, the thought of Iwaizumi being gone forever because of what she had done stabbing into every nerve on her body.

"You are the most amazing person I have ever met, and I always thought that you were so out of my league, which is why it took so long for me to make a move. I was so sure that you would turn me down, because you're way too good for me. You're way too good for me and as soon as I realised how much you liked me, it scared me, and I tried to ruin it. I freaked out that anyone could feel that way about me, especially someone as amazing as you, but I promise you I will never do anything like that again."

"I'm so sorry that the guy who I randomly chose that morning was the guy who assaulted you, and it's something so vile that I'll never know peace again for doing that to you. I immediately kicked him out and blocked him on everything. I didn't want to get violent with him because I didn't know what you wanted me to do or what you were comfortable with, but just say the word, and I will go bury him for you. I don't expect forgiveness, but I'm going to stay loyal to you for however long you'll let me."

Iwaizumi listened with her eyes flickering across the vulnerability painted on Oikawa's stressed features, feeling her heart flutter with nerves at the overwhelming devotion that Oikawa professed to her. She processed the words, seeing the genuine apologetic mist in the familiar brown irises staring back at her.

A silence slowly filled the air as Iwaizumi tried to think of something to say, not wanting her features to give anything away, sighing as she kept the eye contact. "I'm so sorry, Iwa-chan." Oikawa breathed quietly, feeling heat flash behind her eyes, her eyebrows furrowing together in emotional pain.

"I'm forgiving you, because I can't live without you." Iwaizumi said in a meek tone, feeling her cheeks burn hot at the openness of her affection. Oikawa felt her lips curl upwards and her heart skip a beat, putting a hand over her face to hide the sobs that started to accompany the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Oikawa shuffled closer to her as she cried out all of the regret and guilt, asking her quietly if it was okay to hug her. Smiling at the question, Iwaizumi nodded and opened her arms, Oikawa quickly wrapping her in a tight embrace. Iwaizumi felt her stomach flutter with feelings as Oikawa's warmth washed over her, having missed that electric touch, smiling into the brown hair.

Burying her sobbing face into Iwaizumi's neck, Oikawa clung onto the shorter girl as if she were her oxygen supply, her fingers wrapping around the soft fabric at Iwaizumi's back. The familiar smell of Iwaizumi flooded through her airway, Oikawa inhaling and trying to stop the loud sobs that racked her body, their bodies swaying slightly in the embrace.

Oikawa repeatedly whispered that she was sorry as she cradled Iwaizumi close, Iwaizumi rubbing a hand over her chestnut hair affectionately, her heart hurting at the crying even though she was still upset at what Oikawa had done. Iwaizumi's other arm wrapped around Oikawa's waist, pulling her as close as possible, Oikawa's sobs vibrating through her neck.

After a good few moments of crying, Oikawa pulled away from the neck, keeping her arms wrapped around Iwaizumi, not wanting to take her hands away from the body even though she needed to wipe at her face. Iwaizumi smiled at her, their faces close, the hand that was in Oikawa's hair cleaning the stray hair and tears away from Oikawa's flushed damp face.

Oikawa let her teary eyes flicker over the face which she adored so much, taking in every inch of the beautiful face as if it was the last time she could see her, her heart blossoming as she looked upon Iwaizumi and that smile. "Don't cry, flower." Iwaizumi whispered, their lips brushing together as she spoke, cradling Oikawa's face, her thumb rubbing over the damp circles under her eyes.

Her heart flipping at the ancient pet name, Oikawa looked at her through dark eyelashes stuck together from the tears, sniffling as a large grin curled up her cheeks until it reached her misty eyes. She leaned into the touch against her face, closing her eyes and sighing in contentment, wishing they could stay like this forever. 

Iwaizumi tightened her grip at Oikawa's waist, her hand at Oikawa's face affectionately caressing the soft skin, their bodies intertwined as they enjoyed the presence of one another. She watched as Oikawa slowly opened her eyes to look at her with tenderness, her heart racing as she closed the distance between their lips before her anxiety could stop her.

Oikawa felt the kiss travel up her face like electricity, smiling against Iwaizumi as she softly kissed her back, her heart pounding deep in her chest. They gingerly kissed and remained in the same intertwined position, Iwaizumi glad that she felt completely comfortable in the arms and with the lips pressed against her.

Iwaizumi felt the familiar desire for Oikawa that she had before the incident, her heart fluttering with happiness that she wasn't as broken as she thought she was. She slowly pushed her tongue past Oikawa's lips, feeling the surprised hum from Oikawa vibrate through her mouth, Oikawa moving a hand up to caress at the side of Iwaizumi's face tenderly. Oikawa pulled away as she felt Iwaizumi's hand wander up her thigh, her eyes widening as she looked at Iwaizumi with shock, the touch at her thigh making the skin tingle with excitement.

"S-Sorry, you — you don't want to," Iwaizumi stammered apologetically, quickly moving her body away ashamed, covering her red face with both hands, worried that she had done something awful. Oikawa rapidly realised that Iwaizumi had misunderstood, retorting, "No, no, Iwa. I want to; I really want to. I was just shocked that you wanted to."

She laughed slightly, holding onto Iwaizumi's wrist to bring her back, a light blush on the bridge of her nose, biting on the inside of her cheek nervously. Iwaizumi turned to look at her, peeking through her fingers, slowly letting her hands drop from her face. "I do want to," Iwaizumi murmured quietly, feeling her heart hammer, hiding her face behind a loose strand of hair that had fallen into her face.

"I miss the way you feel," Iwaizumi continued, lifting her eyes up to meet Oikawa's. Oikawa inhaled deeply, her chestnut eyes flickering over Iwaizumi's carved blushing face, her heartbeat thumping against her eardrums. They looked at each other for a few moments, a comfortable silence filling the air, as Oikawa felt her breathing get heavier, Iwaizumi returning the meek gaze. 

They both leaned in at the same time, almost knocking each other over from the force at which they moved their bodies, Iwaizumi grasping Oikawa's face between her hands and connecting their lips messily. Oikawa wrapped both arms around Iwaizumi's waist, pulling her close, feeling Iwaizumi's tongue quickly push past her lips and throb against the inside of her mouth.

Iwaizumi furrowed her brows together and hummed, leaning her body into the touch and pressing their bodies together further, the deep kiss dissolving into small frantic ones as they made up for lost time. Oikawa felt her arousal soar underneath her clothes, feeling Iwaizumi's hands wander down the curves of her body and indiscriminately groping, her heart beating so strong she was surprised it didn't beat out of her chest.

Pulling Oikawa onto her lap so that Oikawa was straddling her, Iwaizumi moved her hands upwards to the back of Oikawa's thighs, pulling her as close as possible, spreading Oikawa's legs further as she did so. Oikawa breathlessly grinded her body against Iwaizumi's lower half, hearing a soft moan spiral out of her lips as Iwaizumi wandered a hand up her shirt.

Oikawa put a hand on the side of Iwaizumi's face as she hummed and kissed her deeply, their tongues rubbing over each other, breaking the kiss to breathe against the side of Iwaizumi's face at the friction between their bodies. Iwaizumi hurriedly pushed Oikawa on her back, reaching up and wrapping her slim fingers around the neckline of Oikawa's shirt, tearing the fabric downwards until her breasts bulged over the top.

Feeling Iwaizumi's mouth at her naked chest, Oikawa breathlessly let out a moan, arousal washing over her, watching as Iwaizumi sucked hickeys hungrily and grasped roughly at the flesh. Iwaizumi let a hand wander between Oikawa's thighs, slipping beneath the underwear and pushing in her index and middle finger.

Oikawa arched her back at the feeling, a short moan scratching at the back of her throat, the frantic passionate intimacy making her skin scream with excitement. Iwaizumi fondled a breast with her free hand, her fingertips running over the hard nipple, her other hand continuing to curl the fingers in and out.

High moans surfaced from deep within Oikawa, the overwhelming euphoria making her body tremble, her brows furrowed with pleasure, keeping her watery eyes fixed on Iwaizumi's. "You're okay?" Oikawa whispered through a breath, her chest heaving up and down, her words cut short as a moan uncontrollably rolled off her tongue and echoed off the walls.

Iwaizumi smiled at the reassuring kindness, humming her approval before leaning her head down and taking the nipple into her mouth, running her tongue over the sensitive flesh. Oikawa gripped onto her shoulder and felt Iwaizumi's ring finger push inside her, the three fingers quickly pushing and pulling in small circles.

"Iwa," Oikawa whined through a moan, her mouth hanging open, throwing her head back, finding it hot that they were having sex with her underwear on and her breasts pulled over her shirt. It felt so quick and intense. Iwaizumi felt herself get turned on by the way Oikawa moaned her name, her three fingers moving at a faster pace, keeping her eyes glued to the expression of pleasure on Oikawa's flushed face.

Iwaizumi kept the fingers inside and buried them around deeper, her thumb on the outside starting to stimulate Oikawa's clitoris, Oikawa hearing her moans get louder at the stimulation. Oikawa wrapped both arms around Iwaizumi's neck, her fingers sinking upwards through the black hair, her lower half starting to grind against the fingers and thumb.

"That feels so good, Iwa." Oikawa breathed through a whining moan, screwing her eyes shut, feeling the familiar blossoming of orgasm already, her fingers tightening around the dark locks on Iwaizumi's scalp. Iwaizumi quickened her pace as she recognised the approaching peak from the way Oikawa's thighs trembled, her teeth pulling at the flesh on Oikawa's pulsing neck. 

Oikawa felt her mouth open further, staggered whimpering moans spiralling out of her lips, repeatedly breathing Iwaizumi's name as she hit her high. A finishing groan scratched at the back of her throat, her thighs closing in on each other, her arms around Iwaizumi's neck tightening, keeping the girl close.

Iwaizumi smiled at the embrace that they were in, still hovering next to Oikawa, her face flushed with arousal. "If you get uncomfortable then we'll stop," Oikawa breathed, as she pulled her face away from the neck, her eyes flickering down Iwaizumi's clothed body hungrily, continuing, "Is it okay if I make you feel good now?"

Feeling her blush grow deeper, Iwaizumi nodded as her stomach fluttered with affection that Oikawa was being so cautious, replying quietly, "It would be kind of rude if I didn't get to finish too." Oikawa let out an amused gasp, not expecting the teasing humour, a grin growing on her face at Iwaizumi's cute laugh. 

Iwaizumi hid the slight nervousness that she felt as Oikawa sank down to her knees, swallowing a lump in her throat, as this would be the first time since the assault that she had used her vagina for anything other than peeing. It did make her anxious, but she was so comfortable with Oikawa that if she wasn't ready she would feel okay stopping her.

What had happened to her obviously wasn't a sexual experience; it was a violent experience, but it was hard for her to even look at herself naked because she felt like her body had betrayed her. Her mind whispered to her that this would be a mistake and she should freak out, and that no one had good intentions with her, even though Oikawa was being diligent that Iwaizumi was comfortable.

Oikawa saw the anxiousness flash behind Iwaizumi's eyes, waiting to spread the slender legs, resting her chin on one of Iwaizumi's knees and looking up at her with a soft smile. "You look really pretty today," She whispered, both of her hands tangling around Iwaizumi's calf and hugging the flesh.

Iwaizumi felt a large smile curl up her lips, her heart skipping, a light blush rising to her nose, exhaling a stiff breath she didn't realise she had been holding. The tiny comment broke through her anxiety, chewing on the inside of her lip to hide the giant grin and slowly spreading her own legs for Oikawa.

Grinning at the relaxation, Oikawa tenderly rubbed at Iwaizumi's legs, helping her push the trousers and underwear down to her ankles. Making sure that there was no more uncertainty painted on Iwaizumi's features, Oikawa slowly moved her face towards the genitals, her hands hooking around Iwaizumi's upper thighs and tenderly rubbing up and down the skin.

Iwaizumi inhaled as she felt the tongue, forcing away the mild flashback to the changing room that shuddered over her body, looking down at Oikawa with lust. Oikawa reached a hand up to intertwine with Iwaizumi's fingers, squeezing the hand tightly as she started moving her tongue up and down.

Her body jerking slightly, Iwaizumi let out a low moan, the sensation becoming less scary and more overwhelmingly good. She arched her back and furrowed her brows, breathing out a long moan as she felt her chest inflate and deflate with each heavy breath. "That feels nice," Iwaizumi breathed quietly, her words cut off as Oikawa moved her tongue to a certain spot and she moaned loudly.

Oikawa kept her eyes lifted up to Iwaizumi's face to check that there was no discomfort on her features, glad to see that Iwaizumi seemed to be enjoying herself, her legs trembling as her open mouth released soft moans. Iwaizumi squeezed Oikawa's hand tighter, her other arm going out and resting on the top of the sofa cushion, her neck stretching upwards and her head turning up to the ceiling.

She felt the tongue gently shift over her flesh, feeling slightly embarrassed as she realised that she felt the familiar blossoming of orgasm already, as she hadn't been touched in a while. She screwed her face up and heard short staggered moans escape her, thrusting her hips against the face, her whining moans gaining volume.

Iwaizumi felt her body shake and her spine arch to completely exploit the feeling, a high moan spiralling out of her lips as she hit her peak, her body curling in on itself, her thighs trembling as small whines scratched at the back of her throat. Putting a hand over her face, Iwaizumi breathlessly let her body flood with pleasure, her head feeling light as a cloud.

Oikawa tenderly caressed her upper thighs with a small smile, her stomach fluttering nervously as she worried that Iwaizumi would leave. "I — I know that we used to have sex for a really long time and have multiple orgasms, but can we stop for now?" Iwaizumi breathed quietly, her hand over her face tightening as a feeling of dread and self-loathing washed over her.

"Of course, Iwa. Are you okay?" Oikawa asked worriedly, taking her hand away from Iwaizumi's leg and wrapping around Iwaizumi's neck affectionately. Iwaizumi nodded as heat flashed behind her eyes, bowing her head down ashamed as she started to quietly cry into her hand. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying. It felt really nice." Iwaizumi cried in a strained tone.

Oikawa wrapped both arms around her and frowned sadly, Iwaizumi clinging onto her tightly as she cried small gasping sobs. "Oh, Iwa-chan." Oikawa whispered, rubbing a hand over the black hair, continuing, "You're probably just overwhelmed, it must be a strange feeling wanting to be sexually active again after what happened to you." Iwaizumi nodded meekly against the neck, glad that Oikawa understood the weird way that she felt, the fingers tightening around the shirt at Oikawa's back.

Her crying died down quickly, Iwaizumi pulling her face away and rubbing at the moisture on her cheeks, looking down at the naked breasts that were still pulled over Oikawa's shirt. She realised that her underwear and trousers were still around her ankles, hurriedly pulling them up, Oikawa feeling a blush rise to her nose as Iwaizumi stared at her exposed chest.

"Do you — Do you want me to pull my shirt up?" Oikawa asked nervously, her hands balling into fists beside her on the sofa, her heart thumping against her eardrums. Iwaizumi tore her eyes away when she realised she had been caught staring, a dark blush rising to her cheeks, nodding and turning her face away, deciding not to indulge any more in sex for that day. She wanted to try and understand her mental boundaries, and go at a pace that suited her.

Oikawa pulled it up with a short smile, obscuring her chest, feeling her heart flutter that Iwaizumi was acting in the awkward sweet way she used to around Oikawa. Iwaizumi felt the teasing smile directed towards her, covering her grinning lips with four fingers, clearing her throat, her skin still tingling from where Oikawa had touched her. She knew that the wound hadn't completely healed, and the rose scab was still forming over Oikawa's betrayal, but just being with her made everything vanilla-and-strawberry-scented. The scent of divine heaven.


	10. chapter nine

Iwaizumi looked up as she heard Oikawa call her name, a lovesick grin rising to her lips as she saw Oikawa skip over with a slice of cake. "Tell me your honest opinion," Oikawa smiled through a giggle, opening Iwaizumi's jaw for her and gently pushing the soft cake past her lips. Iwaizumi flickered her eyes over Oikawa's face adoringly, gazing up at her and chewing through widely smiling lips.

"Very nice," Iwaizumi mumbled as she continued to chew, her words muffled by the crumbly lemon cake cushioning her teeth and tongue. Oikawa felt her grin curl further up her lips, her heart fluttering with happiness to see Iwaizumi smiling, leaning down and placing a feathery kiss at her moving lips as Iwaizumi chewed.

Oikawa sat next to her and kept her eyes fixed on Iwaizumi, folding her legs up beside her on the sofa, finding it cute how adorably Iwaizumi ate food. Her heart hurt when she thought about how she had wounded the girl she was so infatuated with, her guilt washing over her like a thousand knives.

She hoped her discomfort didn't show on her face as she admired Iwaizumi, her mind tormenting her with images of Sano and what he had done to her girlfriend. She deserved to be in emotional anguish; she deserved to constantly relive the horror of touching the person who had done the worst thing imaginable to her closest loved one.

The fact that Iwaizumi had taken her back at all was something that Oikawa was treating as a fragile entity, and she worried that one day Iwaizumi would wake up and decide that what Oikawa had done was unforgiveable. She couldn't even forgive herself for hurting Iwaizumi, so she couldn't understand how Iwaizumi could forgive the action.

A couple of days after they had reconciled, Iwaizumi had woken up in the middle of the night, pressed against Oikawa, screaming from a horrible nightmare, her hair soaked with sweat. She had pushed Oikawa away and was so upset with whatever had occurred in her nightmare that she told Oikawa that what she had done was just as bad as what Sano did. She told Oikawa that she hated her, and screeched for someone to help when Oikawa tried to touch her.

She eventually calmed down, realising that she was safe, sobbing loudly and deciding to sleep on the sofa that night. In the morning she cried and apologised, saying that she was just confused because she had a nightmare that Oikawa had helped Sano that day after practise, heavy tears streaming down her face as she apologised and hugged Oikawa.

Oikawa knew that she had no right to be upset, and in a way she was happy that Iwaizumi had yelled at her, as it felt therapeutic. She needed Iwaizumi to be angry, so that the wound would open and heal stronger. She cried herself to sleep when Iwaizumi shuffled to the sofa, surprised that she had any tears left, dampening her pillow for a couple of hours.

She felt guilt stab her, wishing that she were dead for what she had done, her body racking with sobs as she thought about Iwaizumi's face of horror when Oikawa touched her. She deserved to feel every painful gasping sob scratch up her throat, her puffy eyes burning with hot tears. 

The passing days had been quite peaceful apart from at night when Iwaizumi would have the usual tormenting nightmares, only getting upset with Oikawa sleeping in the bed with her that one night. Every other night she would jerk awake, her eyes sharpening as she shifted back into reality, her heart thumping against her ribcage.

Terror would flood over her sweaty body, Iwaizumi shivering slightly from the cold sweat, screwing her eyes shut and repeating to herself internally that it was just a dream and she was safe. Oikawa would pretend to sleep through it when Iwaizumi would jerk awake unless it got really bad, wanting to give her some privacy in those vulnerable moments.

Iwaizumi finished eating the slice of cake, feeling the eyes on her, a light blush rising to the bridge of her nose. She wasn't sure how she could still get so nervous around her girlfriend, who she had known for fifteen years and had been dating for a while, anxiously scratching at her kneecap.

"Is it okay if Sugawara comes over here later? She said she wants to see us and she'll bring weed." Iwaizumi asked Oikawa, twisting her body around so that she was looking her in the face, resting her head in her hand to mirror Oikawa's actions. Oikawa nodded through a smile, saying that was fine, holding back the urge to ask Iwaizumi if she should be intoxicated with her mental health low, knowing that it would sound condescending.

Iwaizumi swallowed the slight nervousness she felt as she told Oikawa, "I didn't say before, but I met Sugawara a couple of weeks ago and I, um, I told her that I was raped. And the thing with you and Sano." She averted her eyes, her tone growing meeker as she finished speaking, her heart growing weaker at the name. 

Oikawa felt the words slap her across the face, her smile twitching as she fought to keep it on her lips, inhaling and accepting the internal pain from the verbal reminder of what she did. "I'm so proud of you for telling someone," She whispered, deciding not to indulge on the later half, willing to accept Sugawara's bitterness that would greet her later.

Iwaizumi felt her stomach flutter with feelings for Oikawa, a smile rising on her features, thanking her quietly, meeting her eyes again. She shuffled closer and hugged Oikawa, wanting to feel the warmth that she radiated, smiling into the neck. "You're so sweet, Iwa-chan. So sweet." Oikawa whispered into the black hair, hugging Iwaizumi back tightly, her words shaped by the large grin on her face.

Oikawa felt so lucky that she could be with someone so lovely as Iwaizumi, her hands lying flat against Iwaizumi's back, her eyes closed as she inhaled the familiar scent of the girl. She liked Iwaizumi so much that it made her want to cry, and the thought of Iwaizumi leaving weakened Oikawa down to her knees.

Iwaizumi felt just as strongly for Oikawa, which was why she couldn't bear to separate despite what Oikawa did to her. She felt safe and happy in Oikawa's arms, and she would endure the nauseous episodes of repulsion that she felt thinking about Sano on top of Oikawa. Sometimes it would get too overwhelming, and she would pretend as though she needed the bathroom, not able to look at Oikawa any longer, dry heaving over the toilet as she thought about them together, large tears dripping down into the toilet bowl.

She would wipe her mouth even though nothing came out, drying her eyes, and walking back out to Oikawa, all anxiety drained from her as her eyes fell on the angelic smile. Iwaizumi hoped that the nausea would pass as she forgave Oikawa, in the same way that her mind had healed since the sexual assault. Time didn't heal problems, but definitely made them easier to deal with.

Sugawara knocked on the door a couple of hours later, Oikawa gently untangling Iwaizumi's limbs from her as she got up to answer it, instantly feeling the loss of warmth as she did so. Iwaizumi smiled at her as she walked away, her heart fluttering with emotions, her body still warm from the hug. 

"Hi," Oikawa grinned at Sugawara, hoping that her fear of being scolded wasn't showing on her face, opening the door wider for the shorter girl to come in. She watched as Sugawara walked through the doorframe, strolling past her as if she were invisible, greeting Iwaizumi happily and sitting beside her on the sofa.

Oikawa knew she deserved the rudeness, sighing and slowly shutting the door, swallowing the rejection. Iwaizumi smiled meekly at Sugawara, feeling her heart hurt at the interaction, whispering, "Suga, you were the one who told me to forgive her." Sugawara laughed lightly and tucked hair behind her own ear, replying, "I know, I'm still mad at her for what she did though."

Sitting herself down on the sofa opposite them with a guilty look painted on her features, curling her legs up beside her and resting her chin in her palm, Oikawa smiled nervously at the ground. "Iwa's too nice to punish me, so I appreciate it." She breathed through a nervous laugh, lifting her eyes to meet Sugawara's, glad that the honey brown eyes still held the same comforting nature towards her that they usually exuded.

Sugawara giggled and wrapped a protective arm around Iwaizumi, saying that Iwaizumi was definitely too nice to everybody, Iwaizumi smiling shyly against the embrace and feeling her cheeks burn hot at the attention. Oikawa felt a genuine smile curl up her lips at Iwaizumi's awkward smile, asking Sugawara if she wanted anything to drink, Sugawara replying that water would be fine.

As Oikawa got up to leave for the kitchen, Iwaizumi watched her with a lovesick grin, her heart fluttering as Oikawa let her eyes linger on Iwaizumi. Left alone with Iwaizumi for a moment, Sugawara turned her face and asked quietly if she was okay, her words basic but the tone letting them both know it was a big question.

"Better than when we met before," Iwaizumi breathed quietly through a short smile, not really sure how to put her feelings into verbal concrete. Sugawara asked if Oikawa was being nice, making Iwaizumi laugh and nod with a grin, replying that she was happy, Sugawara showing her doubts through her raised eyebrows, whispering that if anything else happened she would love to hear about it.

Oikawa softly stepped towards them with a tall glass of icy water, watching as Sugawara abruptly stopped her whispering, turning to look at Oikawa with a smile, accepting the glass of water. "I was just asking Iwaizumi if you're treating her right," Sugawara said boldly, sipping from the glass and humming at how cold it was, Iwaizumi turning to look at her with a shocked look.

"I can't speak for Iwa-chan, but I hope I am." Oikawa replied defeatedly, hiding her face behind her hand as she sat back down on the sofa opposite them, the space around her without warmth as she was the only person sat there. Iwaizumi quickly chimed in despite her shyness, "Oikawa is definitely making me happy, so you can dial down the grilling. I appreciate the concern, but I like her a lot." 

She turned her eyes down to the ground, a blush covering the bridge of her nose, hoping that she didn't sound ungrateful for the care, tightening her grip around Sugawara's soft torso. Oikawa felt her stomach flutter with nerves at what Iwaizumi said, her hand covering her face hiding the large grin that stretched up her cheeks, meeting Sugawara's warm eyes.

Sugawara felt satisfied with Iwaizumi's defence of Oikawa, letting out a small laugh and telling Iwaizumi she would stop being overprotective softly, squeezing Iwaizumi back, running a hand over her black hair. "I don't mind if you wanted to smoke in here, my parents won't be back for a while." Oikawa told Sugawara through a smile, taking a piece of her long brown hair and twirling it around a finger absentmindedly.

"If we're going to smoke then you should come sit with us, dummy." Sugawara teased as she reached into her bag to take out the weed, her other arm staying wrapped around Iwaizumi, pulling out the plastic bag and the other things needed to roll spliffs. Her smile widening, Oikawa agreed and leapt off the sofa, Iwaizumi feeling her heart race adoringly with nerves as Oikawa settled beside her on the sofa, sandwiching her between Oikawa and Sugawara. 

Oikawa reflected Iwaizumi's smile, both of them turning to look in wonder as Sugawara filled the paper with weed and tobacco, an amused grin on her face as she felt their eyes on her. Sugawara started a conversation with Oikawa about school casually as if nothing had happened, Iwaizumi smiling to herself as she watched them talk, knowing that Sugawara had only been rude because of what Oikawa had done.

Iwaizumi watched as Sugawara ran her tongue over the edge of the paper, answering Oikawa's question about the other third years at Karasuno, her head turning back and forth between the two girls as they spoke. Sugawara finished rolling three spliffs, mumbling with a spliff hanging off her bottom lip that she would roll the others when she was high and she had done it well before in the worst of stoned states.

"You're sure you're okay getting high?" Sugawara asked Iwaizumi as she handed them their spliff each, trying to make her words sound as casual as possible so that she didn't show her worry about the possibilities of Iwaizumi experiencing the bad side of weed. Iwaizumi nodded with a hum, replying, "I feel good today, and I'm calm with just you two."

Oikawa smiled at her, her hand squeezing at Iwaizumi's leg affectionately, Iwaizumi turning her head to reflect the smile, accepting Sugawara's outstretched hand with a lighter sitting at her fingertips. The three of them took turns lighting the ends of their spliffs, the paper burning a bright crimson as it caught fire, their chests slowly expanding as they inhaled deeply, the taste bouncing around the inside of their mouths. 

Iwaizumi was definitely more of a lightweight than the other two, quickly falling into a fit of giggles for no reason, screwing her eyes shut as hearty laughs escaped her hot throat. Oikawa watched with a wide smile, finding it adorable, giggling at Iwaizumi's waving hand as the shorter girl tried to subdue the laughter.

Sugawara pulled her phone out and showed Iwaizumi funny videos that she had saved to her Instagram, pleased that the laughter grew louder and happy tears started rolling down Iwaizumi's face, her lips stretched up the laughing cheeks. Oikawa rested her chin on Iwaizumi's shoulder, watching Sugawara's phone too, wanting to feel Iwaizumi's warmth as her body shook with giggles.

Taking another toke from her lit spliff, Iwaizumi felt her giggles die down, pushing her feathery light head back against the sofa and sighing, calmness washing over her. She heard Sugawara and Oikawa talking about something, noticing how red both of their half-shut eyes were when she looked properly.

"You should put on some music," Iwaizumi whispered as she poked Oikawa, her voice low and soft, her green eyes half-closed as she looked up at the brown-haired girl. Oikawa asked her what she wanted to listen to through a grin, playing with a piece of hair that had fallen beside Iwaizumi's shoulder, weaving her finger around the strand.

Iwaizumi told her that she wanted to listen to some Gorillaz, sinking her teeth into her smiling bottom lip and letting her eyelids flutter over her eyes. Letting out a light laugh at how peaceful Iwaizumi looked, Oikawa agreed and turned on her TV to do what she asked, watching as Iwaizumi crawled closer and rested her head in Oikawa's lap.

The back of her skull pressed against Oikawa's thighs, Iwaizumi smiled dreamily up at Oikawa, starting to sing under her breath to the Gorillaz song that started to play out of the TV speakers. Oikawa buried a hand in Iwaizumi's scalp, massaging at the hair with a warm feeling coursing through her body, continuing to talk to Sugawara about their friends, her attention staying fixed on the adorable whispered singing spiralling out of Iwaizumi's parted lips.

Iwaizumi would occasionally chime in to the conversation from Oikawa's lap, although she was content with just listening, lifting her hand up to her mouth to inhale deeply as the spliff got shorter. Time slipped by quickly, the three girls all enjoying the funny company as the smell of weed danced around them, the music softly playing over the speaker heightening the pleasant mood.

"Can I please raid your fridge?" Sugawara asked Oikawa through a laugh, her hands rubbing up and down at Iwaizumi's ankles, Iwaizumi laying with her head on Oikawa's lap and her feet on Sugawara's lap, outstretched and comfortable. Oikawa replied, "Of course, we'll be right back Iwa." Iwaizumi hummed her approval, her eyes shut gently, not really paying attention, barely reacting as her body was gently moved to the empty side of the sofa.

Sugawara followed Oikawa to the kitchen with heavy feet, her stomach aching from how hungry she was, letting out a happy gasp as she threw open the cabinets of food and saw how rich Oikawa was. "You have so many snacks," Sugawara gasped with a light stoned laugh, her jaw hanging close to the floor as she gazed upon the many different packets of junk food.

Oikawa smiled at her reaction, feeling her heart race, poking Sugawara and asking if she could talk to her for a second. Sugawara turned, the high smile dropping from her face as she saw the deep anxiety carved into Oikawa's features, asking her if she was okay softly. "I was hoping that we could talk somewhere private," Oikawa whispered through a shaky breath, feeling a flash of warmth behind her eyes.

"Did something happen?" Sugawara asked worriedly, putting a hand on Oikawa's upper arm, the discontentment practically radiating off of Oikawa's frown. Oikawa rubbed a hand over her face, nodding mutely, speaking after a moment, "Well, I'm not certain if something happened or not, but I just need to speak to someone about it and I definitely cannot talk to Iwa about it at all."

Sugawara pulled a face in confusion, her heart pounding with nerves at what Oikawa was about to tell her as she worried that Oikawa had cheated again, replying that was fine and she would always listen, a soft care on her face as she kept her hand on Oikawa's upper arm. Oikawa breathed in deeply, worried that the words would reject rolling off her tongue in fear, swallowing the agitation.

"Over the past few days I've been experiencing symptoms of pregnancy," Oikawa sighed, burying her face in her hands after she forced the words out, her words strained and high as the tears started to stream down her face. "I think I'm pregnant and I need someone to help me," She continued through a quiet cry, feeling warm arms wrap around her and Sugawara's kind aura flood into her crying figure.

Sugawara felt her heart hurt at the words, as it was a worst nightmare for most teenage girls, burying her face in Oikawa's brown hair and whispering that she would definitely help her with anything she needed. "I obviously can't speak to Iwa about this, because the only person who could be the father is Sano. I spend every minute with Iwa, so I can't go out and buy a pregnancy test to confirm it, but I have a lot of the early symptoms and I just feel like something's wrong with me." Oikawa cried into the warmth, her fingers around Sugawara's back tightening.

"I would rather die than upset Iwa again by telling her about this," Oikawa whispered, her words melting into a subdued cry, feeling her body shake with sobs as she clung onto Sugawara for dear life, Sugawara listening to her with a sad expression hidden in Oikawa's hair. She felt as though Oikawa had a lot to vent and she should just listen unless Oikawa stopped talking completely.

Feeling the arms tighten around her and Sugawara rub a hand up and down her back, Oikawa felt comfortable in the embrace to let out her bottled up emotions. "I hate myself so much for what I did, and this just makes it so much more revolting. I asked him to wear a condom but he said it felt better without one and I didn't stop him, and when Iwa came to my house and broke up with me I was so upset that I forgot that the sex was unprotected. I forgot to take emergency contraception, and now I might have something disgusting growing inside me that belongs to that fucking monster. I need to get rid of it, and I'm so scared."

Sugawara listened as she continued to comfort Oikawa physically, glad that Oikawa was sure about terminating the pregnancy. It didn't change how hard it would be for Oikawa to live with the knowledge that she was pregnant at one time with Sano's child, but the fact that she wasn't opposed to abortion was positive, as it would make the process less complicated.

"The thought of keeping it hasn't crossed my mind once, and I know that it's just a clump of cells and it's completely undeveloped right now, but it's still scary thinking that's inside of me." Oikawa sniffled against Sugawara's neck, her body racking with sobs that she fought to choke back, as the living room with Iwaizumi in it was only down the hallway.

Rubbing her hand up and down Oikawa's back soothingly, Sugawara pulled Oikawa's face away so that she could look at her, wiping at the dampness underneath her puffy eyes. "It is scary, and it's okay to be scared. I'll find a way to get a pregnancy test to you, and if it does come out positive then I'll book an appointment with a doctor for you. I promise you it will be okay." She whispered softly, pushing away the damp strands of hair that had fallen into Oikawa's flushed face.

Oikawa felt her lips curl up slightly at the comforting words, warm tears rolling over the edges of her full lips, whispering a thank you. "I feel so guilty, like I'm making this situation about me. I can't make this about me; she doesn't need this right now. Not after everything I did." Oikawa heard a staggered gasping sob escape her as she spoke, the thought of Iwaizumi finding out making her emotional again.

"I can see how much you care for Iwaizumi, and she's obviously been going through a rough time recently, but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel sad that you might have an unwanted pregnancy. Regardless of the mistake you made with Sano, you didn't ask for this and you're allowed to be upset." Sugawara replied in a quiet voice, keeping Oikawa's dark hair away from her face to stop the loose strands from getting caught in the progression of tears.

As Sugawara rubbed at the dampness underneath Oikawa's eyes, she heard gentle footsteps approaching from outside the kitchen, Oikawa hurriedly wiping at her face with the fabric on her forearm, her heart racing. Sugawara leapt towards the door with a grin, watching as Iwaizumi stumbled in and asked why they were taking so long in a cheerful tone.

Oikawa used the time that Sugawara bought for her to make sure all moisture was gone from her face, putting on a fake smile and skipping towards the two of them. "Do you want anything to eat, baby? I'll make you something," Oikawa asked Iwaizumi through a wide grin, wrapping both arms around Iwaizumi's neck and looking down at her lovingly, feeling Iwaizumi's hands at the small of her back.

"Hmm, I want some strawberries and whipped cream." Iwaizumi hummed dreamily, a large smile curled up her cheeks, gripping onto the bottom of Oikawa's lower back, surprised at how hungry she felt compared to the usual nausea she felt towards food. She looked up at Oikawa adoringly, flickering her eyes across the ethereally beautiful features, watching as Oikawa nodded her approval and placed a gentle kiss on her smiling cheek.

Oikawa tightened her grip around Iwaizumi before slipping away with a smile, moving her feet towards the fridge and trying to ignore the screaming negative thoughts that drilled against the inside of her mind. She worried that not telling Iwaizumi about the possibility of pregnancy would only make Iwaizumi distrust her further, but she also didn't want to upset Iwaizumi by telling her what had happened.

She heard Sugawara drag Iwaizumi back into the living room to roll another spliff, taking the strawberries and whipped cream out of the fridge and starting to put them onto a plate. The urge to cry had crumbled, which Oikawa was thankful for, Sugawara's comforting words leaving an impact on her fear of the situation.

The three girls continued to casually smoke weed for the remainder of the day, Iwaizumi falling into fits of hysterical giggles a few more times, all of them enjoying themselves. Oikawa quickly forgot about her problem when she saw how happy Iwaizumi was, running her fingers through Iwaizumi's scalp and twisting the black strands around her slim fingers, the texture as soft as clouds.

Sugawara left when it started to get dark, telling them through a smile that she offered to babysit her baby brother while her dad went out for the night, and she was mostly sober now so she would be fine getting home by herself. She told Oikawa that she would text her later with a smile, Oikawa nodding discreetly with the same smile, her heart racing nervously, the two girls waving Sugawara goodbye at the doorway.

Iwaizumi sighed contently, flopping on the sofa wearing the dreamy dazed expression she had been wearing all day, her stomach making a hungry noise. "Do you want me to order a pizza?" Oikawa laughed through a grin, flopping beside her, resting her chin in the centre of Iwaizumi's chest, looking up at her affectionately.

"Mhm," Iwaizumi hummed and nodded, mumbling about the vegetarian option as she played with Oikawa's chestnut hair. Oikawa picked her phone up and went to the app to order it, letting out light laughs at Iwaizumi's hands that started to tug at her hair teasingly, ordering the same pizza twice for both of them.

She told Iwaizumi it would be there in the next twenty minutes, Iwaizumi nodding and saying that they should watch a movie. The pizza arrived quicker than they thought it would, both of them devouring it hungrily, their eyes lifted up to the movie that was playing on the TV. Iwaizumi laughed at how messily Oikawa ate, the pizza sauce splattered across her chin and around her mouth, Oikawa not shameful at her bad eating habits.

After clearing the pizza boxes away, Oikawa walked back into the living room to see Iwaizumi lying on her back with her legs spread and a lustful expression on her face, one of her hands up by her cheek twirling a piece of hair slowly. The two of them had been sexually active again since Iwaizumi decided to forgive Oikawa, but it took around a week and a half for them to get back to their usual constant intimacy they shared before the sexual assault.

Oikawa felt a sexual grin curl up her lips, leaping towards Iwaizumi and joining their lips, feeling Iwaizumi's pleased laugh through their connected mouths. She grinded down between Iwaizumi's spread legs, her hands running up and down Iwaizumi's sides, the warm figure absorbed up through her fingertips, humming against the open mouth.

Iwaizumi tangled a hand in Oikawa's dark hair, the other wrapping around Oikawa and sliding up the back of the skirt, grasping the flesh between her fingers. She felt happy that she could be like this with her girlfriend again, and that she didn't feel as afraid of being intimate with the person that she liked.

The first couple of times they had sex again wasn't uncomfortable, but Iwaizumi found it hard not to think about the assault, having to stop Oikawa a few times when she felt too overwhelmed. She would bury her face in her hands and apologise, crying into Oikawa's exposed shoulder about how she felt broken.

Healing from something as horrible as sexual violence wasn't a straight journey upwards to restoration of the person Iwaizumi was before. It was difficult, and some days were especially difficult. She felt lucky that she had Oikawa, who helped her during the hard days and would never make her uncomfortable in a sexual situation, her feelings for the girl growing taller each time the sun set.

It was easy for them to start kissing and then for it to develop into sex quickly, and time would escape them, the craving feeling to stay entangled overwhelming. Oikawa put a hand out against the headboard to stop her head from hitting it, her body being roughly thrusted into the bed, her other hand at Iwaizumi's back.

Loud moans escaped her as Iwaizumi rubbed their bodies together, her legs wrapped around the back of Iwaizumi's thighs, Iwaizumi settled between the spread legs, Iwaizumi's hands beside Oikawa's face as she looked down at her breathlessly. Oikawa dragged her short nails down the rolling back, feeling herself approach another orgasm, the bed creaks and high moans echoing off her bedroom walls.

Iwaizumi screwed her eyes shut as the pleasure grew, spreading her own legs further to invite the feeling, her outer thighs pressing harder against Oikawa's inner thighs, her chest heaving up and down as desperate moans crawled past her lips. "Iwa," Oikawa whined through a whimpering moan, her moans becoming staggered gasps as the slapping of skin got faster, digging her short nails into the sweaty flesh on Iwaizumi's back that curved with each thrust.

They continued until they got too exhausted to move, Iwaizumi kissing at the side of Oikawa's flushed red face and asking if she wanted to sleep yet. Oikawa nodded and let out an amused laugh at how long they had gone on for, her entire body feeling light and satisfied, turning her head to see that it was nearing midnight.

"That was so nice," Oikawa smiled in a hoarse tone, their heavy breaths as they calmed their heart rates down relaying between their parted lips. Iwaizumi smiled back at her, her heart feeling heavy at how much she agreed and liked Oikawa, leaning down and kissing her softly, caressing her tongue over Oikawa's and tasting the weed lingering in Oikawa's mouth.

Oikawa flipped them over so that she was on top, wrapping her fingers around the hem of the duvet and pulling it up over both of them, reaching over Iwaizumi and turning off the light. She felt Iwaizumi wrap both arms around her, a large smile on her face as she pressed the side of her face against Iwaizumi's bare chest, feeling the rapid heartbeat against her sweaty temple.

Their bodies naturally entangled, Oikawa pushing both arms up around Iwaizumi's neck, letting out a contented hum from the comfortable position, feeling Iwaizumi's legs twist around hers. She felt so peaceful that she almost forgot about the possibility that she was pregnant, covering up her internal discomfort at the reminder, thinking about waiting an hour before checking her phone to see if Sugawara had been able to buy a pregnancy test.

Iwaizumi fell asleep quickly, her body feeling light as a cloud and happiness bathing her alongside the sweat and warmth from Oikawa's body pressed against her. She had a short smile on her face as she sank into her dreams, her fingertips caressing at the bottom of Oikawa's back, running over the dimples at the bottom of her spine lovingly. 

Oikawa waited until the beside clock showed that it was one in the morning, knowing that if Iwaizumi did wake up from nightmares it would always be after two, turning her head up to look at her sadly as she thought about how terrible the pregnancy scare was. She felt so guilty even looking at Iwaizumi, and she felt as though if she were pregnant and had to get an abortion it would be her punishment from the universe for hurting the sweetest girl in the world.

She gently slipped away from the embrace, wrapping a blanket around her naked body and reaching for her phone, softly stepping away from the bed and into the hallway to look at her phone. She squinted at the bright light as it hit her eyes, her heart skipping as she saw that she had a text message.

It read; 'From: Sugawara - i left three pregnancy tests behind your plant pot, i figured you would want to be sure :) i'll pray for a negative test result for you and call me if you want to when you find out'. Oikawa rubbed a hand over her face nervously, quickly texting back that she was grateful for Sugawara's help and that she was too tired to speak but she would text her when she had used them.

Milk approached from his dog bed, wagging his tail happily as he saw Oikawa walking down the hallway, rubbing his face against her bare ankles. Oikawa smiled slightly and rubbed at his fur, swallowing a lump in her throat and tiptoeing towards the front door, wrapping the blanket around her tightly to hide her nude body.

She retrieved them as quietly as she could, practically running towards the bathroom, not able to wait any longer, ripping the first box open and reading the instructions. She figured that it would be more accurate to use them all consecutively instead of attempting to pee on all three at the same time, her heart hammering nervously as she waited for the longest three minutes of her life after using the first test.

Oikawa rubbed her hands over Milk's fur, staring at the stopwatch app on her phone as it approached the three minute mark, the pregnancy test out of her sight as she was too anxious to watch it develop. It hit the three minute mark, Oikawa clearing her throat nervously and walking over to the test, forcing her eyes to look down at it.

Two lines showed on the tiny screen, meaning that the first test was positive and that she was pregnant. "Fuck," Oikawa whispered to herself as she stared at it with wide eyes, all breath escaping her, ripping open the next box hurriedly, hoping that it was a false positive and the others would be negative.

After she saw the last test result, all three screens showing two lines, Oikawa slowly sank to the floor and put a hand over her eyes, letting out a stressed breath. She couldn't believe she had been so fucking stupid. The chances of keeping it were zero, even below zero, but that didn't change the psychological impact of getting an abortion. And it wasn't rare to encounter protestors outside abortion clinics who preached that she would be a murderer, despite the fact that most of those aggressive protestors didn't care about the poor quality of life an unwanted child would endure.

She thought about people screeching at her that she was killing her baby, her leg starting to shake with anxiety at the images of what was to come, thinking about how easily this could have been avoided. Firstly if she had never been so low to cheat on her girlfriend, and secondly if she had never been so cowardly to accept Sano's refusal to wear a condom. She felt weak, in all aspects of the word.

Oikawa tiredly picked up her phone and updated Sugawara on the positive result, knowing that she was definitely asleep because of how late it was, surprised at herself that she hadn't broken down crying yet. She knew she wasn't crying because deep down she probably already knew that she was pregnant, and she had let it all out in the kitchen earlier that day with Sugawara.

She pulled the three sticks off the counter and looked at them all again, trying to fully take in how serious it was, her heart hurting as she thought about how Iwaizumi would feel if she knew that the boy who attacked her implanted a devil inside her girlfriend. All she could do now was make Iwaizumi happy, and try to make up for her disloyalty in everything that she did. Nothing else mattered to her like Iwaizumi, and she was prepared to go as far as giving up her life if it meant that Iwaizumi could be happy. Iwaizumi's happiness mattered more than everything else, and as Oikawa continued to stare at the pregnancy tests in disbelief, the only worries behind her forehead concerned her soulmate.


	11. chapter ten

"Beach day," Iwaizumi pushed her eyelids apart at the sound of Oikawa's voice, her eyes slowly sharpening and focusing on Oikawa's grinning face that hovered over her, the sunlight reflecting off of her brilliant white teeth. "Beach day!" Oikawa repeated cheerily, her loud voice directed down towards Iwaizumi's sleepy face, her heart fluttering at Iwaizumi's large amused smile.

Iwaizumi tiredly rubbed a hand over her face, closing one eye and squinting at the bright sunlight bleeding across the bed, her other hand wrapping around Oikawa's torso and gripping at her bare shoulder blade. "Morning, beautiful." She whispered in her raspy morning voice, Oikawa feeling her heart flip and jump up to her throat at the pet name, her smile widening as her skin tingled where Iwaizumi touched her spine.

"Morning, beautiful." Oikawa mirrored her words happily, pushing the bedhead hair away from Iwaizumi's eyes and taking in the heavenly view. "You looked so peaceful that I didn't want to wake you up before, but we need to leave here in the next thirty minutes. No time for smushing unfortunately." Oikawa continued through a dreamy smile, caressing at the side of Iwaizumi's soft cheek, her fingertips swirling around a carved cheekbone.

Iwaizumi frowned dramatically at the fact that they didn't have time to have sex, making Oikawa giggle and squish her cheeks, Oikawa letting out an amused gasp as Iwaizumi smacked her exposed backside underneath the covers. "We're going to have to survive on sexual tension until the end of the day, so stop that before we get tempted." Oikawa let out a low laugh, pressing her lips against Iwaizumi's briefly before jumping out of the bed.

Putting two fingers against her smiling lips, Iwaizumi watched Oikawa pull on underwear and an oversized pyjama shirt before slipping out of the room, her long brown hair that tickled the bottom of her back waving from side to side as she walked. Oikawa felt the stare and grinned to herself, pushing her feet towards the bathroom to get ready for the beach. 

Iwaizumi had agreed to meet her friends again for the first time in a while, as it had been almost five weeks since the sexual assault, and she finally felt stable enough to meet in a big group. She had obviously seen Hinata, Bokuto, and Sugawara, but she missed spending time with all of the girls and the atmosphere of their large friendship group.

Oikawa was thrilled when she invited Iwaizumi and the girl resolutely accepted the offer, happy that Iwaizumi was feeling more like herself again. Iwaizumi hadn't been going to school in fear of seeing Sano, and Oikawa had pulled strings with her family's status to avoid her girlfriend getting in trouble for poor attendance. 

Going to school without Iwaizumi was difficult, and seeing Sano walk around carelessly made her blood boil. It took everything within Oikawa to not storm over and pull his intestines up through his throat, hiding behind the wall of flirtatious boys in the cafeteria to avoid interaction with him. She was glad to see that Michimiya hadn't bothered her again since Kuroo's intimidation tactics, Oikawa's head usually turned down to her phone as she texted Iwaizumi.

It made her smile when she thought about how before she started dating Iwaizumi, after every volleyball game, boys would nervously talk with her and give her big bouquets of flowers or chocolates and talk about how beautiful she looked that day, every boy in the small flirtatious crowd asking her on dates with heart-shaped pupils. She thought about how Iwaizumi would glare at her fans and drag her away from them, using the excuse of jealousy at how many boys Oikawa attracted as a cover for her true jealousy that Oikawa was flirting with someone other than Iwaizumi. 

Iwaizumi was proud of herself for how far she had come in the past five weeks, even though the journey was nowhere near complete and she knew the journey would never really be complete. There was no becoming the version of herself that existed before the assault; that person was gone, and she was now trying to be happy with her changed self.

The depression was permanent, but every day she spent more time out of bed, every day she spent more time being sexual and comfortable with her girlfriend, every day she felt less nauseated by food and nauseated by the thought of Sano with Oikawa, every night she found her nightmares were becoming less scary. Life was slowly but surely becoming more mundane, and she was proud of herself for not giving up. 

Iwaizumi threw the covers off of her warm body and stretched widely, giggling at Milk's incessant licking at her chin, rubbing at his black fur affectionately. The two got ready and headed to the beach in Oikawa's car, the window rolled down by Iwaizumi's passenger side, summer wind flying against her face.

Oikawa wore her favourite tiny pink bikini underneath a short white beach dress, her long brown hair pulled back into a messy high ponytail, heart-shaped sunglasses sitting in the centre of her scalp. Iwaizumi wore a purple bikini that she had borrowed from Oikawa, so it was slightly too small, underneath an oversized band tee and shorts, her black hair also pulled back into a messy high ponytail.

The heat uplifted Iwaizumi's mood, a short smile on her face as she watched the botanical scenery outside the window whiz by them, her heart racing nervously as she thought about seeing all of her friends again. Oikawa parked, rushing out so that she could open the passenger door for Iwaizumi, making Iwaizumi laugh and thank her, stepping out and feeling the warmth from the direct sunlight press against her exposed skin.

They walked the short distance down the steps, Oikawa gripping onto Iwaizumi's arm to stop herself from falling over, and because she wanted to stay physically close, grins on both of their faces as they approached the large group of girls in the corner of the sand. After greeting everyone, Sugawara waved them over to sit with her, the two sitting after Oikawa put out their beach towel.

"You guys look cute," Sugawara smiled through brilliant white teeth, sunglasses covering half of her face, her body glimmering under the sunlight from the sun cream she was wearing. "Thank you," Iwaizumi smiled meekly, watching in the corner of her eye as Oikawa pulled her dress up over her shoulders hurriedly.

Iwaizumi continued, "You look amazing," as her eyes trailed down to the bikini that Sugawara was wearing, a light blush on her cheeks as she realised that she had never seen Sugawara's curvy figure before. Oikawa heard the compliment, her ears pricking up, quickly turning to insert herself into the conversation out of budding jealousy, her sudden interest making Iwaizumi smile amusedly. 

"I don't remember your boobs being that big," Oikawa grumbled to herself in a whisper as she looked down at Sugawara's chest, flickering her eyes down to her own smaller chest. Sugawara let out a smug laugh, putting a hand at the back of her skull and posing, saying she had put on weight recently and she had a sexy body like Mia Khalifa now.

Oikawa smiled widely at her, thinking about how much of a special friend Sugawara had been to the both of them. After Sugawara woke up and saw that Oikawa was definitely pregnant, she rang the doctor for her to schedule an appointment, ordering that Oikawa be seen that morning. Oikawa had no idea how Sugawara managed to persuade the doctor to drop everything and see her, but she did.

She then was prescribed abortion medicine, and two days later she experienced extreme pain in her uterus and stained her underwear red, and it was gone. She was no longer pregnant. Oikawa cried as she saw the negative test result to make sure that the pregnancy had definitely passed, feeling guilty despite the fact that it was a clump of undeveloped cells.

Society was not kind to women who decided to abort for whatever reason, and the experience was tough. Although, Oikawa used to be under the impression that all abortions took place with surgery, so she was glad that it was as simple as swallowing two doses of medicine. She thankfully didn't encounter any protestors outside the clinic who called her a murderer, but the self-loathing still persevered. It was discreet, and easy to hide from Iwaizumi.

She decided that telling Iwaizumi would only hurt her and nothing else, even if she had already terminated the pregnancy, and so kept her blissfully ignorant of the entire ordeal. It all went smoothly, and she felt a lot better waking up the following morning when she knew that it was just her soul bouncing around inside her body. 

Sugawara smiled back at Oikawa, glad to see that she seemed less stressed than before the abortion, watching as Oikawa wrapped an arm around Iwaizumi's shoulder. Iwaizumi let her eyes rake down Oikawa's exposed flesh, her heart hammering against her ribcage in excitement at the tiny swimwear that clung tightly to the skin.

"You wanna get my back?" Oikawa asked Iwaizumi through a smirk, holding up the bottle of high temperature sun cream to her, pleased with the lustful eyes. Iwaizumi nodded with a smile, taking the outstretched bottle into her own hand, starting to feel the heat blazing down against her, sweat beginning to gather underneath her shirt.

She looked down at her shirt and shorts, knowing that she should probably take them off and be left in her bikini to cool herself down. As soon as the thought of being left in her bikini flashed within her brain, her heart began to pound anxiously and her eyes began to flicker across the beach.

Iwaizumi felt her social anxiety crawl into the spotlight, paranoia about men walking around on the beach spreading underneath her skin. She felt a mixture of nausea and fear about taking the shirt and shorts off, swallowing her slight panic and deciding to stay dressed. It took everything within her to not ask Oikawa if they could go home, trying to focus on how happy she was that she was in her friends' presence.

She stole glances at the other carefree girls who sunbathed in their swimwear, wondering to herself how they weren't terrified of men looking. She remembered how last summer she had been comfortable wearing a bikini with her friends, trying to push back the reminder of the sexual violence she endured which had so many painful layers.

Oikawa turned over so that her stomach was pressed against the beach towel, resting the side of her face against the warm fabric, a short smile on her face as she felt the sun cream meet her lower back. She talked with Hinata and Kenma, who were sat near Sugawara, about how they had been and what they had been up to.

Iwaizumi felt sweat roll down her clothed back and start to bother her hairline, the black baby hairs looking darker against her forehead because of the moisture, starting to rub her fingers in big circles over the flesh surrounding Oikawa's spine. She smiled to herself slightly at Oikawa's infectious laughter, finding it the most angelic sound on the planet, her anxiety dissipating with the giggle.

Oikawa pulled her bottom lip through her teeth as she felt Iwaizumi's hand rub sun cream on the back of her legs, turning back to look at her, seeing the innocent smile. She felt the fingers wrap around the back of her thigh and move slowly upwards towards the flesh on her backside, Oikawa letting out a content hum at the pleasant sensation, keeping her eyes fixed on Iwaizumi's.

"I feel like we shouldn't be watching this," Kenma spoke quietly from beside them as she watched Iwaizumi's wandering hands and Oikawa's sensual hums, a light blush on the bridge of her nose, her blonde hair pulled back into a bun on the top of her dark roots. "At least make us pay for the free show," Kuroo commented through a grin, wiggling her eyebrows, Kenma shooting her a disgusted look.

Kuroo continued, "Iwa, what's with all the clothes? You're sweating loads." Oikawa quickly turned her face towards Kuroo, angrily retorting about how she needs to back off and that Iwaizumi was for her eyes only. Iwaizumi felt a smile curl up her lips at Oikawa's jealousy, finding it cute, her heart starting to race as she thought of something to say as an excuse.

"I'm burning hot underneath my shirt, but I'm too worried about taking it off." Iwaizumi replied defiantly, surprised at how easy it was to be truthful, keeping her eyes turned down to Oikawa's back as she continued to rub in the sun cream. "I had something happen to me and it's made me uncomfortable showing my body in public."

Oikawa felt her eyes soften at Iwaizumi's words, her heart starting to race nervously for her girlfriend, proud of her for edging towards speaking about the assault. She looked back at her and tried to absorb some of the anxiety, meeting Iwaizumi's eyes and her small smile, glad that she didn't look as scared as Oikawa felt. They were like two halves of one person, and they shared the same mood, good or bad.

Hinata asked Iwaizumi if she was okay, deep concern painted on her face, the same concern reflected on the other girls' faces. Sugawara heard what Iwaizumi had said, giving her a small comforting smile, knowing what she was about to say. Iwaizumi sighed softly, knowing that she wanted to talk about it, hoping that her throat didn't choke the words because of the difficult nature of the conversation.

"I'm not completely okay, no. This thing that happened is really terrible, and it's going to make you all distressed and uncomfortable when I say it, but, um, I was raped a little while ago." Iwaizumi forced the words out in a paced breath, not able to lift her eyes to look at any of them, proud of herself for being able to say the scary word without crying.

She continued talking to prolong the inevitable reaction and changed perception of herself, "It happened at school which I thought was a safe place, and it was pretty violent. And I'm not telling you because I want you to cry and feel sorry for me; I would appreciate it if you didn't cry." Her words began to trail off as she realised she didn't want to speak anymore, inhaling a staggered breath, keeping her eyes lowered to Oikawa's back.

Oikawa tore her eyes away to look at the expressions on the others' faces, all of them looking upset and staring wide-eyed at Iwaizumi, the atmosphere plunged into solemnity. A timid silence spread over them, before Bokuto spoke up from beside Kuroo and Akaashi, "I hope you know that we'll all be here for you whenever you want to speak about it, and I'm sorry that you had to go through that."

Iwaizumi lifted her eyes to look at Bokuto in surprise, never having seen that soft side of her before, as Bokuto was usually the goofy childish presence in the friendship group. Akaashi nodded from beside Bokuto with a comforting smile, telling Iwaizumi quietly that she wasn't alone. A rainfall of supportive comments pattered down on Iwaizumi, her bottom lip trembling with gratitude as her surprised eyes dotted between them all, her heart warm.

"Thank you," Iwaizumi breathed, swallowing the urge to cry, chewing on her lip to hide the wide smile, relieved that she had such amazing friends. Hinata took one of her hands and squeezed it with a sad smile, fighting the tears that threatened to spill because of Iwaizumi's request that no one cried and made her more uncomfortable than she already was.

Hinata sighed, "I think every girl here has experienced some form of men being disgusting, even if not all of us have suffered as much as you have. It's disturbing how it's happened to every woman." Iwaizumi agreed with a short hum, hoping and praying with everything she had that small cute Hinata hadn't experienced the same thing that she had.

She put her hand over Hinata's hand, sandwiching the smaller hand between her palm and the back of her other hand, the two girls smiling at each other with an understanding sorrow. Oikawa watched Iwaizumi's relief with a warm feeling, noticing out of the corner of her eye as Kuroo hid her crying face from Iwaizumi behind Kenma's exposed shoulder, whispering about how bad she felt.

Kenma whispered back that it was horrible but she could cry later on when it was just them, knowing that Kuroo was hyperemotional and it was hard for the taller girl to subdue her emotions, aside from the fact that Kenma knew that the chance of being sexually assaulted was especially scary. She made sure that Iwaizumi couldn't see, Iwaizumi distracted by Hinata, rubbing a supportive hand over her girlfriend's back.

Oikawa wrapped both arms around Iwaizumi's neck and placed a feathery kiss at the tip of her nose, her heart racing as she grinned up at her, Iwaizumi wearing the same lovesick grin, her heart feeling full of everything. "I'm so proud of you," Oikawa whispered quietly, her eyes flickering over the face which she adored so much, taking in every inch of tanned skin, saving the olive green eyes for last as if it were the dessert to the main course.

Iwaizumi wrapped both arms around Oikawa's naked waist, her fingertips caressing in small circles at the sweaty sticky small of her back, the sun cream making her shimmery, biting the inside of her cheek to stop the toothy grin from dominating her face. "Thank you, for being there for me. And for being my beautiful girlfriend," Iwaizumi replied softly, feeling her cheeks flush pink, gazing into Oikawa's big brown eyes.

Oikawa felt her insides explode with joy at Iwaizumi's words, her smile stretching further up her blushing cheeks, letting out a nervous laugh through her toothy grin. "Thank you for being my beautiful girlfriend with a fat ass for me to bury my face in," Oikawa giggled teasingly, Iwaizumi rolling her eyes with a short smile, shoving her away and saying that she had ruined a special moment, unable to hide the amused giggles that left her parted lips.

Her happiness growing from Iwaizumi's cute laugh, Oikawa pulled her back by her hand and kissed the side of her face, making an exaggerated lip smacking sound as she did so. Bokuto began talking to Iwaizumi as if they hadn't had such a serious conversation a moment before, a large grin on her face as she asked her what she was doing after graduation.

Iwaizumi kept an arm wrapped around Oikawa's waist as she talked to Bokuto meekly, her heart fluttering with nerves and appreciation as she chatted away to the taller girl. Her striped white and black hair falling to her shoulders, an Alice band pushing it away from her plump face, her large golden eyes glimmering under the scorching sunlight, Bokuto spun a volleyball on the tip of her index finger absentmindedly as she spoke.

Akaashi stole glances at Iwaizumi which Iwaizumi knew the black-haired girl couldn't help, feeling the sad navy blue gaze that constantly fell on her. She rested her chin on Bokuto's kneecap, using Bokuto's otherworldly cheerfulness to try and mask her calmness, chiming in to the conversation to talk about what she was going to do next year when Bokuto graduated.

Oikawa kept her face pressed against Iwaizumi's neck with a smile, her eyes flickering between Iwaizumi and Bokuto as they casually spoke, one of her hands twirling around the black ponytail at Iwaizumi's clothed spine. She accepted the offer of a cold alcoholic drink from Kuroo, raising her eyebrows at Kuroo amusedly as Kuroo let her eyes linger on Oikawa's figure, telling her to watch herself.

"You do have an amazing figure," Kenma commented quietly from beside Kuroo, her yellow eyes quickly darting to Oikawa's semi-nude body before looking away with a blush, clearing her throat as she couldn't stop herself from looking at the tiny pink bikini once more. Oikawa laughed smugly, using the bottle opener to pry off the ridged bottle cap, thanking Kenma and saying she was cute with a subtle wink.

Handing Iwaizumi the opened bottle, Oikawa asked for another, Iwaizumi feeling a wide smile rise on her features at Oikawa's sweetness. She took a sip from the bottle and nuzzled the side of her face against Oikawa's temple, her hand around Oikawa's waist caressing over the flesh below her ribcage affectionately.

Oikawa took the alcohol for herself with a shy smile, turning to look at Iwaizumi as she caressed Oikawa's shiny skin, her heart heavy with how much she liked Iwaizumi. She knew that she loved Iwaizumi, but was weary of using the big word in fear that Iwaizumi wouldn't say it back. Iwaizumi was, without a doubt, the love of Oikawa's life. 

She would practise saying it to Iwaizumi in the mirror and find herself ridiculous, covering her red face with her hands and deciding that she wouldn't say it yet. There was no rush to saying that she was in love with Iwaizumi, and they used to say they loved each other as best friends all the time, but the word had a whole new meaning now that they were girlfriends.

Feeling her heart race at even the urge to tell Iwaizumi she loved her, Oikawa leaned into Iwaizumi's touch with a nervous smile, hoping that the others couldn't hear how loudly her heart was pounding out of her chest. She let her eyes trail over the scenery contently, watching the sea sparkle under the hot sun that scorched down on them, sea birds beating their wings as they glided through the cloudless blue sky.

Iwaizumi took another swig from her alcohol bottle and laughed at something Kenma said, her laugh vibrating through to Oikawa, who smiled at the sensation, her eyes fixed on the pleasant weather and sound of birds chirping. She wasn't sure if it were possible to be more calm and happy as she did at that moment, pressed against her favourite person basking in the sunlight.

The day felt as though it lasted a beautiful eternity, the sun slowly melting down to the horizon until a crimson hue illuminated their skin. Iwaizumi felt drunk because of how much alcohol she had sipped, her dial that showed affection turned all the way up, both arms wrapped around Oikawa and drunkenly talking to Kuroo about their brief sexual relationship.

Oikawa was pretty drunk too, her face exaggerated and sour as she looked at Kuroo speak about how she slept with Iwaizumi and, aside from Kenma, it was the best sexual experience she had. She tightened her grip around Iwaizumi's neck behind her, her body between Iwaizumi's spread legs and her back pressed against Iwaizumi's clothed chest, Iwaizumi's sharp chin resting on her head.

"Actually I think you and Oikawa are tied for my second best sexual experience; Oikawa was a dirty freak." Kuroo slurred through a laugh, picking up Oikawa's hand, that wasn't wrapped around Iwaizumi's neck and had been resting against the beach towel, and kissing her fingers. Oikawa giggled at the flirtatious smile and Kuroo's winking, gently resting her bare foot sole against Kuroo's forehead and pushing her away.

Oikawa laughed, "You were lucky those few times that we had sex." Iwaizumi agreed with a hum, pointing and gesturing at Oikawa's body and face, Kenma nodding at Oikawa's statement from beside Kuroo, a smile on her face. Kenma would have been jealous if she didn't understand Kuroo and Oikawa's strange flirtatious friendship, but she knew that both of them had tried something further before and they didn't have romantic feelings for each other.

Kuroo and Kenma broke into a conversation about something or other that quickly progressed and they said they were going to pee at the same time, Oikawa and Iwaizumi watching them both walk away on the hot sand with a smirk, the fact that the two were going to have sex as clear as day. Iwaizumi turned to Oikawa with a short smile, rubbing a finger over Oikawa's face and whispering that she looked pretty under the orange sunset.

Oikawa laughed lightly and felt her heart flip, caressing at the side of Iwaizumi's face and whispering back that she looked pretty too. "I feel so happy with you," Iwaizumi murmured through a drunk smile, not afraid of being open with her strong feelings because of the alcohol swimming through her system.

"I was really unhappy before we started seeing each other," Oikawa replied quietly, one of her fingers going up to trace over Iwaizumi's dark browbone as she sighed softly, craving to feel vulnerable too. "I was unhappy with myself and with the world, and then we kissed that day on the grass at school and now I feel like I'm finally enjoying life." Oikawa continued through a toothy grin, her brain drilling negative thoughts that being vulnerable was being weak against the inside of her mind. She fought back the insecurities and said the words anyway.

Iwaizumi smiled and let out a childish laugh, leaning down and kissing her softly, wrapping Oikawa tighter in her embrace, inhaling the familiar scent of vanilla and strawberry. Her scent made Iwaizumi think of youth and summer heat, never wanting to live without that pleasant aura. 

Oikawa kissed her back softly through grinning lips, glad that she had been open with her emotions, as it was usually hard for her to do so. Her heart skipped a beat as she thought about the picture of Iwaizumi she had recently drawn, completing it in small sections every morning before Iwaizumi woke up, still nervous despite her intoxication. 

She felt Iwaizumi break away from the kiss and hummed as she brushed a hand down Iwaizumi's cheek, looking into her forest green eyes. "I have a present for you," Oikawa whispered through a knowing smile, their faces so close that their lips brushed as they spoke, her eyes flickering between Iwaizumi's.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow with interest, hoping that Oikawa hadn't bought her something expensive which she would feel too bad accepting. Oikawa let out a nervous laugh and reached around Iwaizumi for the bag she had brought with them, trying to ignore her torturing thoughts that tormented her with Iwaizumi's future face of rejection.

She cleared her throat and handed Iwaizumi the piece of paper with a shy smile, hiding her blushing face with her chestnut ponytail, not able to lift her eyes to look at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi took the paper with a wide smile, one of her arms still wrapped around Oikawa's torso, glad to see that it looked homemade and not worth more money than her house.

Letting her eyes fall on the page with an excited laugh, Iwaizumi let out a small gasp, taking in the drawing in all of its glory, not expecting the sincere gesture of art again. Her eyes scanned over her transcribed self in pencil lead, Iwaizumi feeling her stomach flutter at how beautifully Oikawa had drawn her, large fairy wings protruding from her shoulder blades as Iwaizumi looked over her shoulder towards the person looking at the art.

She felt again that Oikawa had drawn her to be more attractive than she really was, even though Oikawa had used a reference photo, smiling down at her fairy self who smiled back up at her through the dimension barrier. "Oikawa," Iwaizumi breathed after a few moments of admiring it, her bottom lip trembling from how overwhelmed she felt with the gorgeous present, knowing that she would keep it forever.

Iwaizumi wrapped both arms around Oikawa's neck before Oikawa could say anything further, Oikawa feeling her heart burst with joy at the reaction, giggling slightly and burying her face in Iwaizumi's neck. "Thank you," Iwaizumi whispered into the neck, heat flashing behind her eyes as she tightened her grip on Oikawa's neck and softly started to cry happy tears into the brown hair.

Oikawa grinned against the neck, rubbing a hand up and down Iwaizumi's back and replying that she was glad Iwaizumi liked the present, her eyes automatically tearing up from the sound of Iwaizumi's sniffles. Iwaizumi pulled away from the embrace to kiss repeatedly at Oikawa's cheek, Oikawa enjoying the attention and giggling, wiping at the circles underneath Iwaizumi's eyes and calling her a big softie.

Iwaizumi wiped at the side of her damp face with the bottom of her shirt, small cries escaping her wide grin, laughing lightly at Oikawa's teasing, keeping her eyes turned down to the beautiful drawing, overwhelming happiness pushing against the inside of her body. Oikawa kept an arm wrapped around her waist, a wide smile stretching up to her softened eyes, her heart fluttering at Iwaizumi's good spirits.

"Suga, come look at this." Iwaizumi called to Sugawara through a slur, gesturing for her to come and look at the drawing as she wiped at her puffy face, Oikawa holding back the urge to complain that the fairy was only for Iwaizumi's eyes, not wanting to take even a sliver of joy away from that gorgeous grinning face. Sugawara shuffled over with a stoned smile, gasping as she looked at it and saying that Oikawa was really talented.

Oikawa went a light pink colour, not knowing what to say, shrugging and shyly turning her face away, hearing Iwaizumi and Sugawara continue to compliment her through hearty excited laughs. Hiding her smile behind a hand, Oikawa listened to Iwaizumi ramble on about how her girlfriend had better artistic skills than that old guy who painted the Mona Lisa, making Oikawa laugh. She sank her teeth into her bottom lip to try and subdue the genuine beaming smile as she peeked glances at Iwaizumi and her drunk enthusiasm for the art, wishing that she could freeze the moment and stare at that ethereally beautiful sight for eternity.


	12. epilogue

Looking at her reflection in the mirror, Iwaizumi licked her lips nervously, continuing to apply the black product through her browbone gently, trying to ignore the slight shake of her hand as she defined her thick eyebrows. She could hear her heart knocking against her chest, reminding her that she needed to feel anxious, the knocking simultaneous with the twisting of her insides.

Iwaizumi sighed softly and swallowed a lump in her throat, clicking her eyebrow makeup set shut and reaching for her liquid eyeliner. Her mind raced over possibilities as she applied her makeup with shaky hands, repeatedly flickering her eyes down to her outfit to make sure that it looked okay.

Today was graduation, and Iwaizumi had agreed to go to the graduation ceremony, despite the fact that the school told her that she didn't have to. Iwaizumi had eventually told her mother about the sexual assault one late evening, feeling secure enough in her mental state to talk about it with family, and it was relieving.

Iwaizumi and her mother both cried and hugged, and Iwaizumi's mother whispered comforting things that she couldn't believe her baby girl had been through such an awful thing. They talked well into the night, and Iwaizumi agreed to go on antidepressants and see a professional to try and cope with the trauma.

Knowing that just because she didn't feel suicidal now didn't mean she wouldn't have a breakdown in the near future, Iwaizumi decided that the sooner she talked to a professional, the better. The antidepressants were also anti-anxiety medication, and they gave her the extra push to get out of bed and have motivation for most things. They also gave her an appetite again, the doctor who spoke to Iwaizumi showing deep concern for her weight loss resulting from her heavy stress.

Iwaizumi told her mother that she wanted to schedule a meeting with the head master at her high school and tell them why she hadn't been in school, although refused to reveal the name of the boy who did this to her. Not to protect him, but because she was terrified that if Iwaizumi told the teachers his name, he would find out and seek revenge by putting Iwaizumi's life in danger.

Iwaizumi's mother couldn't understand why she wouldn't tell her the boy's name, which upset Iwaizumi more than words could describe, but she still appreciated all that her mother did for her. The school told her that taking time off school after something like that was completely justified and she never had to step foot there again if she didn't want to, and they could send her the high school diploma through the mail or through Iwaizumi's school friends.

She was adamant that she wouldn't let her last high school memory recount Iwaizumi being carried to Oikawa's car as she hysterically sobbed, wanting to be strong and go there one last time. It was her last chance to see her friends that she spent the last three years with, and say goodbye to it all. Oikawa was worried when Iwaizumi said she wanted to go, but encouraged her nonetheless, not wanting to bring up the fact that Sano would be there, knowing that Iwaizumi was aware of that and must have her reasons.

Iwaizumi was terrified of seeing Sano, which was why her limbs trembled as she applied makeup and repeatedly checked that her outfit was adequate. It was tricky picking an outfit, as she didn't want to show too much skin in fear of the male attention, but she was generally more comfortable in short skirts and tight fabrics.

She bit the inside of her cheek as she flickered her eyes over her reflection, inhaling a staggered breath as she thought about how large the universe really was and how this one tiny day was nothing compared to the infinitesimal planets and stars which would continue to sparkle and smile down at baby Earth, despite if Sano would notice her today or not. It would be okay.

Iwaizumi wore a dark green dress with floral splashes weaved into the fabric, short sleeved as it was the hottest March on record, the dress stretching down to just above her bare knees and not as tight as she would've liked. Her ears were adorned with floral pendants that her mother had given her for her eighteenth birthday, one side of her middle spiky black part tucked behind an ear.

She wore white trainers with the dress, which she knew her mother would hate and say it ruined the outfit, but she had never liked heels and she thought the contrast of casual and formal looked cool. Iwaizumi found it hard to believe that her and Oikawa had been dating since the start of April last year, at the start of their final year of high school, and it was now graduation.

Iwaizumi had told the school about the sexual assault just after her and Oikawa celebrated their birthdays in July before summer vacation, and ever since they let Iwaizumi complete her studies at home so that she could earn her diploma, her and Oikawa had been stronger than ever. Oikawa told her crowd of flirtatious boys that she wanted them to disperse as she belonged to a special soul, then sitting with her volleyball team instead every lunchtime and annoying them all by incessantly talking about Iwaizumi.

The two celebrated their birthdays with a joint birthday party at Oikawa's house, as their birthdays were a month apart, inviting close friends to celebrate their adulthood. It felt as though everything fell into place, despite the turbulent journey to their peaceful affection. A couple of days after Oikawa gave Iwaizumi the fairy drawing, she told herself that she would definitely confess her genuine love for her girlfriend.

Oikawa had turned her eyes up to Iwaizumi, the two of them sat cuddling on the sofa as they watched a terrible romantic comedy with boring white straight people, her arms around Iwaizumi's torso tightening as she called Iwaizumi's nickname. "Hmm?" Iwaizumi asked with a smile as she looked down at her, Oikawa feeling her heart flip at the angelic olive green gaze directed towards her.

"I just, um," Oikawa began to speak quietly, biting the inside of her cheek, feeling a crimson colour rise to the bridge of her nose, wanting to back down already. She couldn't think of how she could finish the sentence, instead pressing her face forward and kissing Iwaizumi, hoping that if Iwaizumi's eyes were shut because they were kissing she wouldn't see Oikawa's timid blush.

Iwaizumi smiled against the lips, her heart hammering as she kissed her back softly, one of her hands around Oikawa's back slithering down to grab at her backside. Oikawa quickly got distracted and indulged in Iwaizumi's touch, helping Iwaizumi rip off the clothes on her body. Moments developed into hours of kissing and intercourse, Oikawa settled between Iwaizumi's spread legs as she thrust their bodies together.

Grabbing onto Oikawa's shoulder blades desperately, Iwaizumi let out loud moans, her parted panting lips brushing against Oikawa's chin as she rubbed their genitals together, Oikawa's outer thighs pressed against Iwaizumi's inner thighs. They looked at each other breathlessly as they moaned, Iwaizumi wrapping her legs around Oikawa's sweaty thighs and whimpering about how good it felt.

Oikawa caressed at the side of Iwaizumi's face and watched as Iwaizumi's hands mirrored her actions, both of them holding each other's faces as they shared the intimate moment, their heavy breaths relaying between them. "I love you," Iwaizumi breathed between her loud moans, looking up at Oikawa as she rubbed both thumbs over Oikawa's flushed cheekbones tenderly, resting her forehead against Oikawa's.

"What?" Oikawa panted in surprise, her eyes widening, feeling a large grin curl up her moaning lips, continuing to curve her spine with each rough motion, knowing from Iwaizumi's body language that she was about to orgasm again. Iwaizumi sank her teeth into her bottom lip to subdue the smile as her moans got shorter and higher as the slapping of skin got faster, spreading her legs further as the back of her thighs grazed against the carpet each time her legs swung backwards with Oikawa's grinding.

Iwaizumi breathlessly whined, "I love you so much," as she thrust herself against the touch, pulling Oikawa's face close by both hands at the sides of her face, joining their lips messily and moaning into her mouth. "You do?" Oikawa breathed against the lips, fighting the urge to break down into tears, kissing at the side of Iwaizumi's mouth happily.

Nodding without hesitation, Iwaizumi laughed through a moan at Oikawa's reaction, throwing her head to the side and letting out a finishing screaming moan, her thighs attempting to close in on themselves from the intense orgasm. "I love you too, Iwa. More than anything." Oikawa whispered breathlessly, resting her body against Iwaizumi's naked panting flesh and cradling Iwaizumi's flushed face, hearing her voice crack as she felt emotion overwhelm her.

"I love you so so much," Oikawa breathlessly spoke as she flickered her eyes across Iwaizumi's satisfied dazed expression, resting their foreheads together and kissing at the peak of Iwaizumi's upper lip. "I love you more than life itself," She whispered quietly, feeling Iwaizumi's hands at her own face caress the fingertips around her own cheeks, the touch feathery and pleasant.

Iwaizumi felt her heart flutter and swell at Oikawa's words, a large smile stretching up her lips, moving one of her hands at Oikawa's face to Oikawa's sweaty back to hug her as close as possible. Their bodies completely entangled and souls gingerly intertwined, Iwaizumi stared up at her breathlessly and repeatedly whispered that she loved Oikawa, enjoying the surprised delighted smile that repeatedly rose on Oikawa's features every time, as if she were saying a new thing each time.

Many months had passed since they first uttered that special word and shared that soft moment, and their love only grew taller each time they laid eyes on each other. Iwaizumi pushed herself off her rug and smiled widely as she looked at her pale pink wall beside the mirror, the fairy drawing taped up on the wall exuding warmth and kindness. It always lifted smiling lips on her expression, the other drawings of Iwaizumi that Oikawa had lovingly produced sprawled around her bedroom walls.

She pressed her lips together anxiously as she peered out of the window, waiting for Oikawa's car to appear to whisk her away. Iwaizumi packed her things to burn the time and to try and distract her spiralling overthinking, her stomach fluttering as she heard the loud doorbell chime through the house.

A large grin rising to her features, Iwaizumi grabbed her bag and sprinted down the hallway and down the stairs, making sure that her mother and Oikawa didn't have to interact. Despite the time that had passed and Iwaizumi's explanation of how good Oikawa had been to her during the assault, leaving out the fact that Oikawa slept with the assaulter, knowing that would just solidify her hatred, Iwaizumi's mother wouldn't warm up to her daughter's rowdy girlfriend.

Iwaizumi swung the door open, her pupils dilating as the bright sun hit her eyes, the view of Oikawa standing holding a big bouquet of yellow flowers flooding into her vision. "Morning, angel." Oikawa grinned, pushing her arms forward so that the flowers tickled underneath Iwaizumi's nose.

Letting out a happy laugh through grinning lips, Iwaizumi felt her heart flip at the sweet present, taking the flowers in one hand and wrapping her other arm around Oikawa's neck. Oikawa told her that she looked beautiful, wrapping both arms around Iwaizumi's waist and lifting her off the ground, twirling the two of them around.

Iwaizumi felt her smile grow so wide it became almost painful, giggling into Oikawa's neck with the flowers surrounding her eyesight, a yellow hue falling over the world. "You're so much taller with the heels," Iwaizumi commented through a breath as she pulled her face away, Oikawa's arms still wrapped around her waist so that they were eye level, her feet hovering in the air.

"I was taller than you before," Oikawa replied through a grin, enjoying the playful glare that Iwaizumi sent her way, gently placing her back down on the floor. She heard approaching footsteps, both of them turning to see Iwaizumi's mother walking towards them. "Good morning, Miss Iwaizumi." Oikawa greeted her politely, Iwaizumi biting the inside of her cheek to stop the amused smile at their relationship, keeping both arms wrapped around Oikawa's back, her flowers held in both hands.

Iwaizumi's mother tried her hardest to put on a polite smile, although it looked more like a grimace, speaking after sighing, "Good morning, Oikawa. Lovely flowers. Are your parents well?" Starting to talk about how her parents had been and how she had gone to see them in America a couple of weeks ago, Oikawa felt Iwaizumi's appreciate eyes that Oikawa was putting in effort to get along with her difficult mother.

Oikawa flickered her eyes back down to Iwaizumi with a short smile as she spoke to Iwaizumi's mother, distracted by Iwaizumi's adoring grin and sparkling gaze. "I'm not sure when I'll be back, just sometime soon." Iwaizumi told her mother through a knowing smile, as Iwaizumi usually didn't spend too much time at home. Oikawa always had an empty house and it was freeing as a teenager to be able to spend every waking moment with your significant other without the shackles of living with parents.

"Okay, sweetie. Come give me a kiss and then you can go." Iwaizumi's mother replied, her eyes softening, acknowledging how happy Iwaizumi looked when in the presence of Oikawa. Unwrapping her arms from Oikawa's torso, Iwaizumi shuffled over with her flowers and a small smile, not wanting to put them down because of how special they looked, the crinkle of the white protective paper meeting their ears.

Iwaizumi felt warm arms embrace her tightly, her mother whispering that she looked beautiful and that she hoped it all went okay at school, Iwaizumi smiling widely into the chubby neck and replying that she would text her later. She felt a kiss at her cheek, her mother pulling her away from the hug to kiss at her forehead, shooting Oikawa a look before telling Oikawa, "You better make sure that nothing bad happens to my baby girl today."

Feeling her cheeks flush red at her mother's coddling, Iwaizumi broke away with a huff and said that she was embarrassing her, suddenly feeling three feet tall. Oikawa giggled lightly at Iwaizumi's embarrassment, wrapping an arm around Iwaizumi and replying, "Of course I will look after your baby girl. Correction; my baby girl now. I stole her, and she's mine."

Iwaizumi's mother started shouting about how disrespectful Oikawa was acting in a stern tone, her loud voice making Iwaizumi jump, although the interaction made her lips curl up and a breathy laugh escape her, poking Oikawa and telling her to stop provoking her overprotective mother. "Bye, mum." Iwaizumi called out as she shut the door gently behind her, the shouting instantly becoming muffled as the painted wood separated them.

They headed towards Oikawa's car and began driving to the school, Iwaizumi keeping her eyes wandering outside the window, taking in the numerous people and the wild nature. Oikawa steered with one hand, her other hand crawling on top of Iwaizumi's and squeezing it tightly, talking to her softly about the party that Ushijima was throwing for all the third years later that night.

Iwaizumi turned to look at her with a grateful smile, her eyes flickering over her pretty face and the nice outfit she was wearing. Oikawa was wearing the usual full face of makeup with a ruby red lipstick perfectly outlining her full lips, a tight scarlet dress to match reaching the middle of her thighs, her long brown hair that reached her hipbone looking as messy as it usually did, to reflect her big personality.

She adorned expensive dangly earrings and a black hair claw clip that pulled some hair back away from her face, the front strands framing her features, black high heels that made her well over six foot pressing down against the car pedals as she drove. "You look so stunning, I just realised I haven't told you that yet." Iwaizumi gushed through a dreamy smile, cutting Oikawa off as she rambled on about the party.

Oikawa felt her heart flutter as she let out an excited squeal from the compliment, rubbing her hand over Iwaizumi's and replying her thank you through a wide grin, her bright red lips stretching up her cheeks. "We're going to look like such a power couple at school; you look even prettier in your little flower dress. So cute." She grinned, Iwaizumi shaking her head with a blush and affirming Oikawa looked prettier, turning her face away with a beaming smile, her heart full.

"Don't make me raise my voice, I said you look prettier and that's the end of it!" Oikawa said in a teasing stern voice, making Iwaizumi giggle and shove her, telling Oikawa she was stupid. Oikawa laughed with her, enjoying the cute giggles, almost getting distracted from her driving as she didn't want to tear her eyes away from the angelic smile.

Iwaizumi watched the familiar building creep into view, her discomfort thinly veiled by her nostalgia for her high school and the excitement of seeing her friends. Oikawa parked and asked if she was ready through a soothing smile, Iwaizumi nodding with a hum, laughing lightly as Oikawa sprinted to the passenger side to open the door for her girlfriend.

"So gentlemanly," Iwaizumi commented through an amused smile, accepting the outstretched hand and stepping onto the tarmac. Oikawa asked if she could wrap an arm around Iwaizumi before doing so, her heart fluttering at Iwaizumi's agreement, Iwaizumi leaning into the taller touch with a lovesick grin.

Iwaizumi wrapped one arm around Oikawa's spine, the back of her head resting against Oikawa's warm perfumed neck, Oikawa's arm around her waist making her feel safe despite her bubbling anxiety. She saw other people from their year eyeing down their public display of affection, most of them curious instead of prejudiced, trying to push back her insecurities of how she was pushing her luck with someone as beautiful as Oikawa.

"I think the assembly and ceremony is going to start in a minute," Oikawa told her through a grin, her grip tightening around the shorter figure, guiding them both to where the seats were, the bustling sound of the crowd meeting their ears. "Mattsun and Makki should be in the seats already," She continued with a cheerful tone, hoping that Iwaizumi didn't feel nervous.

Iwaizumi nodded and let Oikawa guide them, her eyes frantically scanning over the crowd to search for the person she was terrified of seeing, knowing that it was self-destructive but also wanting to get seeing him for the first time out of the way. She sat down with her friends from the volleyball team, apologising again for not being there for the important games guiltily, grateful that they didn't outwardly scold her.

The thought of playing volleyball ever again was something that Iwaizumi wasn't sure about; she had burned her high school uniform a few months back when she was having a particularly difficult day. Her mind tormented her by telling her that if she had never joined the volleyball team she never would have wound up in the changing room that horrible day and she never would have been sexually assaulted, despite the fact that she used to love volleyball with everything she had.

Her teammates were angry at first when Iwaizumi skipped out on their first official game during summer, but after she explained what had happened to her they all felt bad and apologised, giving her a present as she was retiring from the team. Iwaizumi felt comfortable enough telling her close friends who were also graduating who had assaulted her, being brave with them so that they could avoid any contact with him, for their safety too.

"You two look so cute together," Matsukawa complimented through a short smile, her tone holding the usual amount of calm serenity it usually did, her black short hair messy and sticking up as if she had just rolled out of bed. Iwaizumi felt her cheeks flush pink and thanked her meekly, Oikawa squeezing Iwaizumi tighter with a giggle and agreeing that they were the most attractive couple at the ceremony.

Matsukawa rolled her eyes and retorted she didn't say that they were the most attractive, Hanamaki chiming in from beside her to tell Oikawa that being vain was an unattractive trait, chewing on fruit loudly as she spoke. Their bickering was halted by the head master on the large stage who hushed the crowd, calling for silence so that they could begin.

Iwaizumi twiddled her fingers anxiously against her exposed thigh as she listened to the speech, her free hand squeezing the fabric of Oikawa's dress at her shoulder blade, her eyes still scanning the area to search for Sano. She wondered if he had decided not to show up, but if even Iwaizumi had thought the graduation ceremony was too important to miss, she couldn't imagine anyone else in the year deciding not to attend.

They started listing off students' names to go on the stage and be awarded their diploma, Iwaizumi clapping quietly along with everyone else, Oikawa looking down at her with a comforting smile, pulling her closer in the embrace when Iwaizumi suddenly looked timid. Knowing that her name was going to be called next because of her position in the alphabetical register, Oikawa unwrapped her arm from Iwaizumi and whispered that she was next with an excited giggle.

Iwaizumi smiled widely as they called Oikawa's full name, feeling the loss of warmth as Oikawa stood up and everyone clapped, the applause sounding louder than it had for the numerous names before her. Shuffling past the other people in the seats and thanking them for leaning back, Oikawa grinned confidently as she strutted in her high heels onto the stage, accepting her diploma and shaking the head master's wrinkly hand.

Oikawa heard people wolf-whistle at her and shout about how they wanted to screw her, putting a hand at her lower back and turning to look over her shoulder at the crowd, pulling a model face and blowing kisses, pleased with the glares from the teachers who told her she had to move on and that they had a time limit. Iwaizumi watched her turn and pose dramatically with an amused smile, turning to look at the crowd of people who cheered and whistled at the most popular girl in school.

Accepting the frustrated orders for her to get off the stage, rushing down the few steps and back to where she was sitting, Oikawa laughed at Iwaizumi's disapproving shake of her head, Iwaizumi not able to fight back the large grin at how much she adored the taller girl. Feeling Oikawa's hand rub over her knee affectionately, Iwaizumi heard her heart pound anxiously as the register stretched on and her name inched closer to being called out.

She felt the sun carve sweat droplets from her hairline and begin to roll down her temple, keeping her eyes turned down to the grassy earth underneath her shoes, repeating to herself internally that she would feel better knowing that she did this. Iwaizumi heard her name and the clapping, squeezing Oikawa's hand once more before pushing her numb legs up towards the stage with a plastered smile.

It wasn't as terrifying as Iwaizumi was worried it would be, accepting the diploma and shaking the hand, thanking the head master. "That's my girlfriend!" Iwaizumi heard Oikawa's familiar shouting voice from nearby, feeling her cheeks flush and pressing her lips together, rushing off the stage awkwardly, turning her eyes down and hearing Oikawa's exaggerated claps.

"I fucking hate you," Iwaizumi muttered through gritted teeth to Oikawa as she sat next to her with a red face, trying to hide the grin that threatened to dominate her features, Oikawa's amused giggles meeting her ears. Oikawa retorted that definitely wasn't true as she wrapped both arms around Iwaizumi's torso and peeked at what her diploma looked like, the sound of the microphone blaring more names continuing.

Iwaizumi felt herself stiffen after Sano's name was called, ignoring Oikawa's worried sad look directed towards her and lifting her wide eyes towards the stage, certain that her heart had paused beating. She caught sight of his grinning face striding up to the steps, her lips parting in shock that he was there and had been there the entire time, her eyebrows pushing together and her eyes slowly getting wider as horror flooded over her face.

All moisture from her mouth got sucked away, unable to tear her eyes elsewhere as Sano laughed at something the teacher said and accepted his diploma, looking cheerful and carefree. Iwaizumi stared in a trance-like state, an icy wind suddenly flooding through her veins, not hearing Oikawa's whispers asking if she was okay.

"Cold," Iwaizumi mumbled barely coherently, the one syllable all that her mouth allowed her to utter, feeling as though her mind had separated from her body and she had shut down like a malfunctioning computer. "My back's cold, on the changing room floor." She whispered, Oikawa hurriedly guiding her away from the crowd before she could finish the sentence, both arms wrapped around Iwaizumi's torso as she whispered that Iwaizumi was safe and it was just them.

Iwaizumi felt Oikawa take the diploma away and put the two pieces of paper down on a desk, looking around and realising that they were now in a classroom, putting two hands over her eyes as she relived it all. "Please don't do this," Iwaizumi whispered in a panicked breath, her legs beginning to shake, feeling as though she were in that moment and pleading with Sano again.

"Iwa-chan, he's not here. You're safe." Oikawa told her soothingly, her heart racing in distress as she saw Iwaizumi's bustling tears, wanting to hug her but knowing that in situations like these, physical touch was usually more destructive than helpful. "Do you want us to leave? We can drive to that park with the tree frogs that you like," She continued eagerly, hoping that her voice didn't expose how upset she felt.

Pressing her palms harder against her eyelids, Iwaizumi listened to what Oikawa said, the familiar silky feminine voice cutting through her anxiety and attempting to ease her flashback agony. Iwaizumi nodded quickly, not able to speak as she exhaled loudly and tried to shake off the nauseous coldness that mocked her, frustrated at herself for thinking that she would be fine seeing Sano again.

All that she could think about were his slimy hands that tried to touch at her face, practically able to smell his strong cologne that had been shoved down her nostrils and throat so many months ago, removing her palms from her eyes and covering her mouth as she thought she was going to be sick. Oikawa wrapped a gentle arm around her and asked if she needed to throw up in a sad whisper, Iwaizumi pushing hard against her lips as she retched and kept her eyes screwed shut, shaking her head to Oikawa's question.

The terrible sound of Iwaizumi's dry retching echoed off the classroom walls as Oikawa rubbed a hand over her back affectionately, whispering soothingly about how the tree frogs would look especially bright and colourful in the park because of how sunny it was today. Iwaizumi felt a small smile curl up her lips at the thought of the tree frogs, the retches slowly receding as she gripped onto Oikawa tightly and asked if they could go now.

"I'm still glad we came," Iwaizumi said meekly as they walked towards the car, both of their diplomas in Oikawa's hand, Iwaizumi's head tucked into Oikawa's neck as she leaned into the warm touch. Oikawa smiled slightly at Iwaizumi's optimism, tucking some black hair behind Iwaizumi's ear so that the floral pendant surfaced and replying that she was proud of her for coming.

Iwaizumi smiled towards the ground and nuzzled the back of her head against Oikawa's neck and soft hair, thinking about how glad she was that she would probably never have to see that nightmarish grin again. She pushed her mind back to focus on the taller girl beside her, a beaming smile radiating off her face as she listened to Oikawa ramble on about the tree frogs and retell the memory of Kenma crying because a frog jumped on the bridge of her nose.

She let out a loud giggle at Oikawa's imitation of Kenma's disgusted screech, Oikawa feeling her heart flip and giggling with her, kissing gently at her temple and opening the car door for her. The rest of the day swam on like a relaxing breast-stroke in calm waters, Iwaizumi enjoying the company of the tree frogs and then her friends later on at the party. Bokuto drank too much too quickly and started sobbing as she made her speech about graduating, crying and shouting about how she was going to miss everyone so much, clinging like a monkey to a tree onto her tall best friend. Kuroo rolled her eyes but consoled her, hiding her sorrow that she had to leave Kenma in the same way that Bokuto had to leave Akaashi.

Iwaizumi fell asleep with a wide smile on her face, Oikawa pressed against her, their legs entangled. Her dreams consisted of Oikawa and her beautiful laugh, the only thing her subconscious could think about being those big brown eyes and that cocky attitude. Her eyelids pried apart after a peaceful dozen hours of sleep, meeting with Oikawa's grinning face, who whispered good morning, Iwaizumi letting out a happy laugh and wishing her good morning also.

Oikawa laughed with her and connected their lips, inhaling the familiar taste and caressing at the side of her face, the kiss feeling just as exciting as the first time it had happened. As they always did, they quickly indulged in their overwhelming desires, Oikawa sinking down underneath the covers and starting to go down on Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi pushed her head back and let out whining moans as Oikawa stroked her tongue up and down her exposed genitals, feeling Oikawa's rough grasps at her breasts through the thin vest she was wearing, her nipples hard through the papery fabric. She pushed her knees into the sheets more as time crept on and the pleasure blossomed, whimpering Oikawa's name as she rocked her hips against the tongue, looking down at the disruption in the duvet where Oikawa and her lower half poked up through the covers.

Feeling herself nearing orgasm, Iwaizumi let out high breathy moans, tangling her fingers in Oikawa's bedhead below the covers, the rough fondling over her shirt edging her closer to the climax. "Iwaizumi," She heard a familiar stern mature voice, her eyes flying open and widening, turning her face towards the doorway. Iwaizumi's eyes landed on Oikawa's parents, who were dragging suitcases behind them, Oikawa's father holding a hand over his eyes.

Closing her open mouth and hearing a panicked squeak escape her, Iwaizumi quickly pushed Oikawa away from her sensitive genitals underneath the covers before scrambling underneath the fabric. "Oh, fuck. Oh shit," Iwaizumi whispered in a scared tone, attempting to bury herself down into the sheets as if she were a mole trying to dig into mud. "What? What?" Oikawa whispered back in a worried tone, hoping that Iwaizumi wasn't having a flashback.

Oikawa knew that Iwaizumi had seen something though, absorbing some of Iwaizumi's panic. "Your fucking parents are standing right there," Iwaizumi whispered in a mortified tone, covering her burning hot face with both hands despite the fact that they couldn't see her. She felt more embarrassed knowing that they could see their shapes speaking underneath the covers, wondering if she could ever look at them again.

"We're lucky we only just started, or they would have seen both of our booty holes." Oikawa whispered through a giggle, Iwaizumi glaring at her for being so calm, hissing in reply for Oikawa to give her back her underwear that Oikawa had been holding. Oikawa, being fully dressed still, apart from her pyjama vest shifted to the side because of Iwaizumi's groping, slipped out of their private bubble and greeted her parents cheerfully.

She opened her arms and hugged them both and asked what they were doing home, feeling like she had the words 'just ate pussy' tattooed on her forehead. "I already told you that I'm seeing Iwa-chan when I visited you guys in Boston," Oikawa told them with a light blush, gesturing to the human-sized lump cowering underneath the covers. "We wanted to surprise you as we're going to be staying home for a couple of months, but we obviously should have called ahead. Sorry, sweetie." Oikawa's father said with an amused smile, Oikawa letting out an embarrassed laugh and avoiding eye contact with her mother.

"Your lovely dad is going to make breakfast for us all, so get dressed and be downstairs in ten minutes. Iwaizumi, I'm expecting you to be there too." Oikawa's mother said monotonously as she began to walk down the corridor away from them, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor. Iwaizumi felt her heart race nervously, wanting to crawl into a hole and die. She knew that it wasn't a scolding, but everything that woman said sounded terrifying.

Oikawa felt an amused smile rise to her lips, recognising her mother's tone as an affectionate one towards Iwaizumi, even if Iwaizumi couldn't hear that affection herself. She watched her dad wiggle his eyebrows jokingly and slip out of the room, ripping the covers off of Iwaizumi and giggling at her crimson face. "I think we should go to South America," Oikawa stated abruptly, not knowing how or why she felt it was the right time to tell Iwaizumi her wishes for the next step in their lives.

"South America?" Iwaizumi asked with a wide grin, her heart flipping at the thought of visiting a continent so different from Japan with Oikawa. "I've always wanted to live there, and I can speak Spanish well. I could teach you too, and we could lounge around every day on the beach in our bikinis eating fruit we've never even heard of." Oikawa continued through an excited breath, sitting beside her and taking Iwaizumi's warm slim hands into hers.

Iwaizumi grinned at her excitement, the thought of abandoning everything and moving to a foreign country with her love sounding dreamy. "Okay," She whispered without hesitation, biting her lip excitedly and flickering her olive eyes all over Oikawa's features, hoping that Oikawa was serious. Oikawa felt her eyes widen as she asked if Iwaizumi was being serious, her words shaped by the large grin on her lips. "I want to leave here, and be with you until the end of time." Iwaizumi breathed as she rubbed her thumbs over Oikawa's hands, her mood so high it felt as though glitter was raining down against her tingling skin. Oikawa laughed happily and wrapped her in a hug, whispering against her black hair that Iwaizumi was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She heard Iwaizumi laugh and whisper, "I love you."


End file.
